Crazy Weight saving idea



::dom::

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Our obsession with weight, or lack thereof, is oft taken to extremes. Feather weight brakes, titanium cage bolts, extra light bar tape, Cannondale even produced an extra light jersey....

In another thread asking the importance of weight there were a couple of suggestions I found rather amusing:

- Wear shorts instead of bibs

- Fill your bottle with carbonated water

- Drill holes in your bidon

...any more?


:)
 

alienator

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Jun 10, 2004
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Here's a crazy one: don't waste time letting someone else's bike build weigh you down with consternation. Worry about your own ride.
 

::dom::

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alienator said:
Here's a crazy one: don't waste time letting someone else's bike build weigh you down with consternation. Worry about your own ride.

Where's the angst in that.
 

dgregory57

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Drillium.

Remove every other spoke... or at least radially spoked to decrease spoke length. Or remove front wheel, and always do wheelies.

No bar tape.

Skip dinner.

Brakes? Who needs brakes?

Use only tires others have worn down to the thread.

Shorter cranks.

Short stem.

No saddle (seatpost optional).

Remove nuts and/or quick release skewers. After all, gravity is pushing the bike down. the wheels will only fall off when you lift the bike.

No bottles or cages.

Sand off the paint.

Remove 1/2 of the bearings.

I would say to eliminate derailleurs and shifters (fixie/ss) but I have my limits.

EDIT: Use any of the above suggestions at your own risk!
 
Jun 6, 2006
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Get some 80 grit sandpaper and make the frame tubes ghetto-butted by sanding them down on the outside. Do the spokes too.
 

stlblues

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Sand all of the paint off, drill holes in the frame and crank, dont lube anything.
 

mikesbytes

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Fixie, but use 10 speed sprocket and chain

650c instead of 700c wheels

No helmet, gloves, socks.

Nails trimed and full body wax. Visit dentist and have tartor removed.

Don't drink or eat for 48 hours prior to the ride
 

artemidorus

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mikesbytes said:
Nails trimed and full body wax. Visit dentist and have tartor removed.

Don't drink or eat for 48 hours prior to the ride
Since you're having the full wax, you may as well ride naked.
 

Crankyfeet

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Jun 5, 2007
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Fill the frame and bars with helium and seal.
Wear a helium filled outfit.
Have your intestine shortened so that it holds less ****.
Remove the seat and learn to ride on the seatpost.
Use carbon fiber tires instead of the heavier rubber ones.
Remove all the zipper tabs from your outfit.
Don't eat for four days before your ride.
Hold flatulence in whenever possible (its lighter than air).
 

mikesbytes

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Cranky bet me to the body parts, here's some more.
- Circumcision
- Appendix out
- Wisdom teeth out
- Liposuction while your at it
 

Crankyfeet

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mikesbytes said:
Cranky bet me to the body parts, here's some more.
- Circumcision
- Appendix out
- Wisdom teeth out
- Liposuction while your at it
The great thing about these body part suggestions is that they have nothing to do with the mandatory minimum bike weight requirement in pro cycling. So any pros reading should seriously consider this (free) advice for shedding grams. Greg Lemond won the 89 Tour by 8 seconds. If Fignon had have gotten his appendix and wisdom teeth out before the race... who knows... he might have won... :D
 

mikesbytes

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And don't take your mobile, keys, money, tool bag (and contents) and pump.

Keys can be left under the door mat.

If you get a flat, you can bludge a tube.

Afterwards at the coffee shop, get someone to buy you a coffee, as you forgot your money.
 

stlblues

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Laxatives, lots of them, start a couple of days before you ride. And lots of water pills. Give blood, several units, before a ride.
 

oldbobcat

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Aug 31, 2003
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::dom:: said:
...any more?
:)
Many years ago Competitive Cycling reported that the Canadian national team were having their teeth drilled out.

I suggest either inflating tires with hydrogen or drilling out the tubes. And leaving off the valve dust caps. Oh yeah, we already do that.

Lose that cyclo-computer.

Chamois cutouts.
 

TheDarkLord

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Attach many large helium/hydrogen balloons to the bike to reduce the net weight of the bike from (weight of bike + weight of rider) to some small value. Just make sure you don't go overboard and float away in the middle of a race. :D
 

mikesbytes

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Short valve stems
No bar end plugs
Cut off the front of your seat, like in the Flying Scotsman movie
 
Jun 6, 2006
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Crankyfeet said:
The great thing about these body part suggestions is that they have nothing to do with the mandatory minimum bike weight requirement in pro cycling. So any pros reading should seriously consider this (free) advice for shedding grams. Greg Lemond won the 89 Tour by 8 seconds. If Fignon had have gotten his appendix and wisdom teeth out before the race... who knows... he might have won... :D
That's an easy one to beat though, after you've lightened your bike past the minimum. Just put some bird shot into the frame when you weigh in, then lighten the bike by removing it and keeping it in your pocket during the race, then put it back in after you've won in case they check again.
 

Crankyfeet

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garage sale GT said:
That's an easy one to beat though, after you've lightened your bike past the minimum. Just put some bird shot into the frame when you weigh in, then lighten the bike by removing it and keeping it in your pocket during the race, then put it back in after you've won in case they check again.
Wasn't there a story of Lance or someone filling their frame with water... freezing it... and then letting he ice melt during the race and seep out of the frame cable holes..

I think the post race weigh-in nixed this strategy.