Crazy Weight saving idea



stlblues

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May 21, 2007
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Don't forget to have a few feet of colon removed, and give as much blood as they will take. Shave your entire body, pubes and butt hair add up. and do you really need all your fingers and toes?
 

stlblues

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May 21, 2007
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mikesbytes said:
If you do ride with brakes, then shave off 75% of the pads
Forget the brakes, Fred Flintstone it since you would have gotten rid of the shoes for weigth savings.
 

cyclist2

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May 9, 2004
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stlblues said:
Don't forget to have a few feet of colon removed, and give as much blood as they will take. Shave your entire body, pubes and butt hair add up. and do you really need all your fingers and toes?
Remouve two stone from ya ball bag
 

Crankyfeet

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Jun 5, 2007
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Empty your tear ducts before the big race by buying a new set of Zipp 404's and having someone else smash them with a sledgehammer in front of you.
 

stlblues

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May 21, 2007
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Crankyfeet said:
Empty your tear ducts before the big race by buying a new set of Zipp 404's and having someone else smash them with a sledgehammer in front of you.
How about having someone remove your "stones" with a pair of vice grips instead, two birds with one stone, I guarantee you'll cry every gram out. And don't forget the colonic, gotta empty EVERYTHING.
 

geoinmillbrook

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Feb 8, 2007
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stlblues said:
How about having someone remove your "stones" with a pair of vice grips instead, two birds with one stone, I guarantee you'll cry every gram out. And don't forget the colonic, gotta empty EVERYTHING.
Of course everyone here is a genius and has figured out that between the bike and the rider , the rider is the beefier part of the equation :)
I am extremely sad that the secret of 20 lbs plus 140 lbs equals 160 lbs. And that 140 lbs is more than 20 lbs, by like, quite a bit (but I can't figure out exactly how much). I am grieved that everyone knows that the short and long muscle tone, resultant power and endurance of the rider per total mass and weight of system makes the most difference in the ability to perform work (uh I think that is an object going from point a to point b or something).

I have been taking baths in dilute solutions of hydroflouric acid. As it seeps through my body, it takes all the calcium out of my bones and I expel it with my droppings , which I am now using to pave my driveway. My face now looks like Alienator's old avatar, but it is worth it ! You know - there is a reason why birds can fly. :D

Geo
 

James Bruce Gil

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Aug 10, 2003
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geoinmillbrook said:
Of course everyone here is a genius and has figured out that between the bike and the rider , the rider is the beefier part of the equation :)
I am extremely sad that the secret of 20 lbs plus 140 lbs equals 160 lbs. And that 140 lbs is more than 20 lbs, by like, quite a bit (but I can't figure out exactly how much). I am grieved that everyone knows that the short and long muscle tone, resultant power and endurance of the rider per total mass and weight of system makes the most difference in the ability to perform work (uh I think that is an object going from point a to point b or something).

I have been taking baths in dilute solutions of hydroflouric acid. As it seeps through my body, it takes all the calcium out of my bones and I expel it with my droppings , which I am now using to pave my driveway. My face now looks like Alienator's old avatar, but it is worth it ! You know - there is a reason why birds can fly. :D

Geo

Geo,

Now you're talking.

What really worked for me was cancer! Somehow once it went into remission the odd extra kilo didn't seem so bad and infact was most welcome.

Mind you I never quite reached the stage where my bike was heavier though.

Kind regards,
 

stlblues

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May 21, 2007
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mikesbytes said:
Remove half of the strands from the cables
Loose 2 ft of colon and a kidney, apendix and tonsels have to go, cut fingernails down to cuticles, shave off ALL the hair (yes even down there), and BLOW that nose.
 

Crankyfeet

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Jun 5, 2007
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Cut 2/3 of the skewer levers off with bolt cutters and use a pair of pliers to open and close what's left of them.
 

TheDarkLord

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Dec 24, 2007
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stlblues said:
Loose 2 ft of colon and a kidney, apendix and tonsels have to go, cut fingernails down to cuticles, shave off ALL the hair (yes even down there), and BLOW that nose.
If you're gonna go to that extent, why stop there? Why not remove one of your lungs too?
 
Jun 6, 2006
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Crankyfeet said:
Cut 2/3 of the skewer levers off with bolt cutters and use a pair of pliers to open and close what's left of them.
How about squeezing your presta valves shut with pliers and cutting the tops of the valve stems off?
 

stlblues

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May 21, 2007
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TheDarkLord said:
If you're gonna go to that extent, why stop there? Why not remove one of your lungs too?
My mother in Law has one lung, trust me, you'll need both.