Cycling Joke

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by melodyeye, Jun 28, 2010.

  1. melodyeye

    melodyeye New Member

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    A cyclist shows up for a group ride on a new carbon speed machine.
    "Hey, where did you get the new ride?", asks one of the group.
    "Well," he says, "I was out on a ride when this really hot chick rode up alongside. We got to talking and one thing led to another and we stopped at a park. She suddenly stripped off and said, 'take what you want', so I took the bike."
    "Good thing too," said the friend, "the clothes wouldn’t have fit."
     
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  2. Galeanne

    Galeanne New Member

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    That was a good one. Thanks for posting. I have a nice one to share as well. Please check it out.
    A tired cyclist stuck his thumb out for a lift: After 3 hours, hadn't got anyone to stop. Finally, a guy in a sports car pulled over and offered him a ride. But the bike wouldn't fit in the car. The driver got some rope out of the trunk and tied it to his bumper. He tied the other end to the bike and told the rider: "If I go too fast, ring your bell and I'll slow down."
    Everything went well until another sports car blew past them. The driver forgot all about the cyclist and put his foot down. A short distance down the road, they hammered through a speed trap. The cop with the radar gun and radioed ahead that he had 2 sports cars heading his way at over 150 mph. He then relayed, "and you're not going to believe this, but there's a cyclist behind them ringing his bell to pass!".
     
  3. readandbuy

    readandbuy New Member

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    good 1 for sure.........
     
  4. radbrat

    radbrat New Member

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    Makes me think of a joke I once heard about a horse, but I guess one can change the "mount" to a bike as well.........


    Two blokes on a tandem rode into town and stopped at a pub for a cold drink. Unfortunately, the locals always had a habit of picking on strangers, which they were. When they finished their drinks, they found their "steed" had been stolen.
    They went back into the bar, the captain neatly flips his gun into the air, catches it above his head without even looking and fires a shot into the ceiling.
    "WHICH ONE OF YOU SIDEWINDERS STOLE OUR STEED?" he yelled with surprising forcefulness.
    No one answered.
    "ALL RIGHT WE'RE GONNA HAVE ANOTHA COLD DRINK, AND IF OUR STEED AIN'T BACK OUTSIDE BY THE TIME WE FINISH, WE'RE GONNA DO WHAT WE DONE IN TEXAS! AND WE DON'T LIKE TO HAVE TO DO WHAT WE DID IN TEXAS!"
    Some of the locals shifted restlessly.
    They had another cold drink, walked outside, and the tandem is back! They mount up and start to ride out of town.
    The bartender wanders out of the bar and asks, "Say partner, before you go... what did happen in Texas?"
    The captain turned back and said,


    "We had to walk home."
     
  5. jokesmaster

    jokesmaster New Member

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    Share a joke!!! http://grepler.com/articles/index/57428/alt.jokes laughter is the best medicine! ;)
     
  6. happynicky

    happynicky New Member

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    /img/vbsmilies/smilies/biggrin.gif
     
  7. Dexter49

    Dexter49 New Member

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    A dedicated cyclist dies and goes to heaven. Waiting for him at the gate is St. Peter. The first thing the cyclists asks is if there are bikes in heaven.
    “Of course,” says St. Peter, “come with me and I’ll show you,” He leads the cyclist into the most beautifully exquisite velodrome you could possibly imagine.
    “This is amazing,” the cyclist says.
    “It certainly is,” says St. Peter. “You will have a custom bike and the best cycling clothes anyone could hope for, and your personal masseuse will always available.”
    As they are talking, they hear an amazing roar and are nearly swept off their feet by a huge gust of wind as something just sped by them on the boards riding a gold plated bike.
    “Wow!” the cyclist exclaims. “That guy was amazingly fast, it must have been Lance Armstrong!”
    “No,” says St. Peter, “that was God on the bike, he only thinks he’s Lance”.
     
  8. OGRICHBOI

    OGRICHBOI New Member

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    Actually laughed out loud because of this one. I was having a bad day today because of a driver not staying in his lane. This joke reminds me of one time where I met a girl cycler. I was so winded from my workout that I could barely answer her questions. She ended up understanding, and we traded phone numbers though.
     
  9. p4lse

    p4lse New Member

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    Haha that last line, the joke was good enough without it but that last line makes this a definite crowd pleaser. I'd totally save this 1 and tell my friends tomorrow. Thanks a ton.
     
  10. kylerlittle

    kylerlittle Member

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    :D Had a good laugh.
     
  11. JSWin

    JSWin Member

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    Lol that's funny. Sounds like a guy's fantasy joke. Doesn't usually work that way.
     
  12. swalia

    swalia Member

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    A tandem rider is stopped by a police car. "What've I done, officer?" asks the rider. "Perhaps you didn't notice sir, but your wife fell off your bike half a mile back . . ." "Oh, thank God for that," says the rider - "I thought I'd gone deaf!"
     
  13. oportosanto

    oportosanto Well-Known Member

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    lol, he could have gone for the clothes, but he preferred the bike eh? Smart guy. :)
     
  14. jusumortal

    jusumortal New Member

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    What do you get if you cross a bike and a flower?


    Bicycle petals!
     
  15. jusumortal

    jusumortal New Member

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    Why can't a bicycle stand up on its own?


    Because it's two tired!
     
    #15 jusumortal, Feb 10, 2018
    Last edited: Feb 10, 2018
  16. jusumortal

    jusumortal New Member

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    Q: How do you know you've married a cycling addict?


    Your laundry has more bike jerseys than clothes.
     
  17. jusumortal

    jusumortal New Member

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    When is a bicycle not a bicycle?


    When it turns into a driveway.
     
  18. jusumortal

    jusumortal New Member

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    What do you call a crazy pavement?


    A cycle path.
     
  19. jusumortal

    jusumortal New Member

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    What does a cyclist ride in the winter?


    An icicle.
     
  20. jusumortal

    jusumortal New Member

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    What is the difference between a well-dressed bicyclist and a poorly dressed tricyclist?


    Their attire.
     
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