Cycling jokes

Cycling Jokes

Q: What do you get if you cross a bike and a flower?
A: Bicycle petals!
Q: Why can't a bicycle stand up on its own?
A: Because it's too tired!
Q: What do you call a bicycle built by a chemist?
A: Bike-carbonate of soda!
Q: Why couldn't Cinderella win the bicycle race?
A: She has a pumpkin for a coach!
Q: What's the hardest thing about winning the Tour De France?
A: Telling your parents that your gay!
Q: What do you call a professional cyclist who just broke up with his girlfriend?
A: Homeless
Q: Do you know what is the hardest part of learning to ride a bike?
A: The pavement.
Q: What do you call an artist who sculpts with bicycle parts?
A: Cycleangelo
Q: Why are bank tellers not allowed to ride bicycles?
A: They tend to lose their balance.
Q: What does a bicycle call its dad?
A: Pop-cycle
Q: What did the little boy take his bicycle to bed with him?
A: Because he didn't want to walk in his sleep.
Q: Why can't an elephant ride a bicycle?
A: Because he doesn't have a thumb to ring the bell.
Q: "What do you call a crazy pavement?
A: A cycle path.
Q: Why can't you take a nap during the Tour de France?
A: Because if you snooze, you loose!
Q: What do you call a bicycle with a bed on top?
A: bedridden
Q: Why do bicycles fall asleep?
A: Because they're tired.
Q: When is a bicycle not a bicycle?
A: When it turns into a driveway.
Q: What is a ghost-proof bicycle?
A: One with no spooks in it.
Q: Why Is Sex Like Riding A Bike?
A: You can do it by yourself, but it's usually not as much fun.
Q: How do you know you've married a cycling addict?
A: You laundry has more bike jerseys than clothes

 

Hi, i'm Nina. i come from NewYork. It's nice to meet you. I will tell a story
Public Bathroom Jokes - Funny jokes for adults
Bob walks into a public bathroom and notices a guy with no arms standing next to a urinal.
As Bob takes care of his business, he wonders how the poor soul is going to take a leak.
Bob finishes and heads for the door, but figures he should ask the man if he needs help.
"Oh yes please!?" the man cries.
"You have a kind heart, sir," says the man with no arms.
But as Bob goes ahead, unzips the man, and pulls his willy out, he encounters all kinds of mold, red bumps, moles, scabs, scars, and other unpleasant-looking things.
The armless man asks Bob to kindly point it... then shake it, put it back and zip it. So Bob, gathers his courage, shuts his eyes and does so. "Thank you very much, sir!" says the armless man.
"No problem," says Bob
"but what the hell is wrong with your penis?"
The guy pulls pulls his arms out of his shirt and says
"I don't know, but I ain't touching it!"

 

Hi everybody. To day, I would like to introduce to you a funny story "klondike solitaire turn three" .

Last night I got thrown out of the casino. As a sports bettor I completely misunderstood the crap table.


A man rushes into his house and yells to his wife, “Suzan, pack up your things. I just won a ฿1000 20 leg parlay!” Suzan replies, “Shall I pack for warm weather or cold?” The man responds, “I don’t care. Just so long as you’re out of the house by noon!”


A bum asks a man for 2 mBTC. The man says, “Will you buy booze?” The bum says, “No.” The man says, “Will you gamble it away?” The bum says, “No.” So the man says, “Will you come home with me so my wife can see what happens to a man who doesn’t drink or gamble?”


Operator: May I know your username Sir?
Bettor: My username is Daffy Pluto Mickey Minnie Donald Road Runner Speedy Gonzalez London.
Operator: Wow, why do you have a username like that?
Bettor: Why? You guys told me it had to be 6 characters long and include a capital!


Q: How do you make a small fortune out of sports betting?

A: Start with a large fortune!

Q: How do you make a fortune out of bitcoin sports betting?

A: Don’t bet and wait for the bitcoins to go up in value!


A man walks into a butcher’s shop and asks the butcher: “Are you a gambling man?” The butcher says “Yes”, so the man said: “I bet you ฿10 that you can’t reach up and touch that Beef hanging on the hooks up there.” The butcher says “I’m not betting on that.” “But I thought you were a gambling man” the man retorts. “Yes I am” says the butcher “but the steaks are too high.”

 

Finally! A joke about cycling!

 

She told me to tie her up and do anything I want. So I did. CTTO

 

What does Cycling and Sex have in common?

"Chains, Velcro, Lycra, Leather and Rubber"