Cycling Snobbery

[BrickTamland]

I'm a newbie who is an aspiring cycling snob. How do I gain the perfect sneer, condescending tone, and biting words necessary to achieve this? Do I need to practice, like, say, in front of a mirror? Or will it come naturally if I associate with those whom I want to become? I am willing to go to any lengths to be able to leave newbs feeling dejected and worthless. That is what will make me feel like an accomplished cyclist.

Thanks in advance.

 

[swampy1970]

To feel like an accomplished cyclist you'll need a bottom gear of 39x25 and smash those long 8% grades at around 12 mph whilst casually telling the guy next to you that's deep in oxygen debt that having a $18,000 team issue bike is the only way to go. Remind them before every ride that ever single bearing in your bike is polished and lubricated by your own servant/mechanic which gives you an extra 75 watts.

Make sure that your bike weighs under 10lbs at all times, even with bottles included. Only ride tubular tires and have a team car follow you with a mechanic and sougneur riding along. Change the horn in the car too...

 

[BrickTamland]

Hmmm. I'm guessing something like this will also lend to my look of obvious superiority?

 

[jhuskey]

It is a little known fact that if you sniff a tube of Park Tool lube while listening to a recording of Phil Leggitt's voice and staring at a photo of Lance Armstrong, you can achieve absolute cycle arrogance in just two weeks.

 

[CAMPYBOB]

Quote by Brick:
"I'm a newbie who is an aspiring cycling snob. How do I gain the perfect sneer, condescending tone, and biting words necessary to achieve this?"

Ride Campagnolo Super Record and ignore fat ***** on Dura-Ass.

"Do I need to practice, like, say, in front of a mirror? Or will it come naturally if I associate with those whom I want to become?"

Associate only with the Cognoscenti! Do not be seen with lowly shimaNO and Microshit riders. Evar.

"I am willing to go to any lengths to be able to leave newbs feeling dejected and worthless."

Attack them ruthlessly and relentlessly. Kick their asses on the road, also.

"That is what will make me feel like an accomplished cyclist."

Indeed! You will be a God among mere mortals.

"Thanks in advance."

You're quite welcome...now go practice your bad attitude.

 

[joshposh]

Everyone has to start somewhere. There are thread designed and openly accepts new comers. There are the pong time users and pros that will not have the patience for novice questions and so forth. You just need a thick skin and to brush off the negative comments.

 

[kana_marie]

That is the right way to be I suppose, rather than listening to them, it is just hard to block them out as I get very frustrated with people that think they are better than other people

I find it makes me feel better when I point out something that makes me better than them. Here's a non cycling example: the situation is irrelevant. This girl was acting like she was better than me. Just stupid stuff. So I told her about a home remedy face scrub I discovered that works miracles. You see, my complexion wasn't perfect, but it wasn't horrible either. Hers was really bad. I know it makes me sound like a mean person, but it was 100% in response to her being a b***h.
Just point out one of their shortcomings in a very passive aggressive way (so they sound like the ***** when they tell the story) and go about your day knowing its Claire:1, snobs:0

 

[ABNPFDR]

Hmmm. I'm guessing something like this will also lend to my look of obvious superiority?

That is a helmet for triathletes, not cyclists. The only time a cyclist may don such a dome is when actively engaged in a Time Trial event, otherwise you are a douche, not a snob.

 

[mpre53]

That is a helmet for triathletes, not cyclists. The only time a cyclist may don such a dome is when actively engaged in a Time Trial event, otherwise you are a douche, not a snob.

Same with aero bars.

 

[Rhodolite]

Everyone has to start somewhere. There are thread designed and openly accepts new comers. There are the pong time users and pros that will not have the patience for novice questions and so forth. You just need a thick skin and to brush off the negative comments.

This completely. I'm more of a casual cyclist at the moment but I have contemplated on going further into the hobby but it's not something I'm gonna just dive right into. I want to build myself up and gradually get into it. Not only because there's lots to learn but also because it's not a super cheap hobby to get into.

Snobbery doesn't bother me because I get into things out of curiosity and passion. I've learned to make do with used stuff before putting down serious money to invest in something expensive if I found that I really like the hobby. I worked my way up from a cheap lap harp from Pakistan to my Lyon and Healy Style 85CG concert grand harp from childhood to the time I entered college. It was thousands of hours of hard work and learning the ropes and the ins and outs of the instrument but it was worth it. I'm going through the same with motorcycles right now and since I was already commuting with a bicycle I figured that I'd knock both out at the same time as well. Like anything new, I want to study it and get my feet wet and see if I like it before dumping huge amounts of money. Then there's the fact that I like working my way up since it feels like a real accomplishment versus just buying my way into it if that makes sense. :x

 

[Clairelouise84]

I'm a newbie who is an aspiring cycling snob. How do I gain the perfect sneer, condescending tone, and biting words necessary to achieve this? Do I need to practice, like, say, in front of a mirror? Or will it come naturally if I associate with those whom I want to become? I am willing to go to any lengths to be able to leave newbs feeling dejected and worthless. That is what will make me feel like an accomplished cyclist.

Thanks in advance.

You definitely need to practise the face, you know the one, the one that looks like you can smell something bad and you're not happy about it. Try walking around with an air of superiority and steering every single conversation towards cycling. You also need to master the backhanded compliment, this should make you feel sufficiently like a big shot.

 

[Clairelouise84]

I find it makes me feel better when I point out something that makes me better than them. Here's a non cycling example: the situation is irrelevant. This girl was acting like she was better than me. Just stupid stuff. So I told her about a home remedy face scrub I discovered that works miracles. You see, my complexion wasn't perfect, but it wasn't horrible either. Hers was really bad. I know it makes me sound like a mean person, but it was 100% in response to her being a b***h.
Just point out one of their shortcomings in a very passive aggressive way (so they sound like the ***** when they tell the story) and go about your day knowing its Claire:1, snobs:0

Ha ha excellent advice, I had hoped not to go down this road as it could open up a can of worms (I am very vengeful) but I think it might be time! I do love feeling victorious and I so rarely get the chance!

 

[Clairelouise84]

Well I admit it, I'm like that to some degree - I enjoy talking with others interested in the sport, it's been a learning experience and I know so much more now than I did three seasons ago - and I also know exactly how ignorant I am about so many aspects of it, too.

I admit too that I am somewhat of a wanna-be, because for as much as I've done with this sport, it's not nearly at the level I wish it could be, for health reasons, because of time constraints, and because of aspirations that exceed my abilities. If I keep working at it ...

I know where I want to go - but getting there is hard. Keep working at it ...

The people who ride their bikes around town for 2 miles once ever couple of weeks with no safety gear annoy me - and I know they shouldn't because they are "recreational riders" - but it really pisses me off when I see people riding at night with no lights and dark clothing. And no helmet. And riding against traffic etc.

I like looking the part, buying the gear, etc. I do draw the line at shaving my legs though - for years I had lost most of the hair below my knees due to grade 5 circulatory issues - riding, other exercise, diet, weight loss, supplements and it has now grown back quite a bit which is a good sign of much better circulation. Oh yeah, the six surgeries in 16 months probably helped too. so the hair stays.

Riding with dark clothes and no lights is just plain foolish, there is being new to the game and then there is being just plain foolish! Safety is paramount and I would never compromise on it as I can be very accident prone which explains the array of new and exciting injuries that I have recently acquired!

 

[Clairelouise84]

I'm an old man (66) and former racer. I've also competed in x-country ski racing and, unfortunately, distance running. In every sport there are folks that are more focused on the persona of being an athlete or the equipment they believe will improve their performance than the joy of being a capable cyclist. And yes, there is a degree of snobbery and more than a few poseurs; riding a $5,000 bike or having a power meter does not make you a superior cyclist.

However, there is a big difference from my perspective between riding a bicycle and cycling as a sport. You will never see me dawdling along sitting upright on a tractor seat with my knees splayed and my seat lowered to my top tube. I happily lift a hand and wave to those folks, but they are simply riding a bike. It's like anything else - learning three chords on a guitar and strumming does not make you a guitarist any more than knocking a few pieces of wood together make you a carpenter. When I see some folks ride, I know that they do not take cycling seriously or have a passion for the sport - they are simply enjoying a bike ride. It's not about the clothes or the bike, but about their level of commitment and seriousness.

Unfortunately, like many cyclists my passion for the sport can, at times, make me an annoying dinner companion - akin to a religious fundamentalist. I really try to restrain myself, but I do love it.

I guess I am simply riding a bike, which I have no problem with as I know my limits but other people seem to, they seem very impatient and impolite, if there is anyone behind me on a path ANYWHERE, I will move aside and let them go first, I know full well that I am not the fastest so they can always go first. I have done this about eight times now and not one person has said thank you, I don't do it to be thanked but not saying it is just rude and gives cyclists a bad name!

 

[CAMPYBOB]

Quote by ABPFDR:
"That is a helmet for triathletes, not cyclists. The only time a cyclist may don such a dome is when actively engaged in a Time Trial event, otherwise you are a douche, not a snob."

Quote by mpre53:
"Same with aero bars."


Smokey, this ain't 'Nam! There are RULES!

http://www.velominati.com/the-rules/

 

[Sunflogun]

Snobs are everywhere, even on top of bikes, so who cares if they are snobs, just don't pay attention to them and carry on, they will just continue feeling happy and superior.

 

[hyperliterate]

We have all encountered snobbery in cycling and almost every other thing worth doing. Admittedly, I am a recreational cyclist, but I ride both days every weekend and, in late autumn and winter, switch to an MTB. I've seen the shaven legs, the high end bikes with overweight riders and the plentiful opinions concerning all things cycling. A little humility would go a long way as far as I'm concerned. Just yesterday on a club ride (a "B" ride, if you're interested), one of the more experienced riders in the group was having a rough time of it. I expressed sympathy, having been there myself. He refused to acknowledge me. If you ride with any regularity you will encounter rides when you're struggling the entire time. Better to admit it and deal with it then to pretend it isn't happening.

 

[jhuskey]

I use to be a bike snob but after years of meditation and self examination I have conquered my ego, as a matter of fact I have become the perfect cyclist.

 

[swampy1970]

Same with aero bars.

Funny, those bars were actually developed by the Race Across America guys, then adopted by the tri guys and then Greg Lemond. Funny how people forget what actually happened and when back in the day.

It should be the touring guys that want comfort and more speed that should be pissing on your Wheaties with condescending douchbaggery.

 

[FetishRider]

I'd be a snob but my 15 pound Raleigh is a Raleigh so I don't exactly have that name dropping power. I have some real nice stuff but it's not statusy enough for the big money snobs. lol.