Cycling will get bigger when Americans get smarter.

Discussion in 'Road Cycling' started by Tony Austn, Jul 21, 2003.

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  1. Tony Austn

    Tony Austn Guest

    If you are an American and lover cycling, your IQ has to be well over 110 points

    Cycling is not popular here in America because Americans can only understand racing if it has no
    right turns in it. (Like Nascar or Indy. And then those poor, "gifted", Americans who can't even
    understand NASCAR prefer drag racing because it has no turns.)

    Oh, the names of the "athletes" have to be: Dale, Ernie, Bubba, Jethro, or Bobby to be able to get
    an endorsement and they have to come from a state that only has three last names. (I will let your
    imagination figure out why there are only three last names.)

    Why isn't grand prix, cycling, or motorcycle racing popular?, because the average American is an
    idiot and prefers Jerry Springer over Chris Matthews, or Nascar; whose redneck drivers can barely
    speak American english or are even able point out where France is on a map, over cycling.

    The American public prefers sports where beer is sold and cheerleaders with fake blonde hair with
    those silly colored stripes in it with strange colors that you see no where else in nature and who
    actually consider Pam Anderson, or Anna Nicole Smith as a role model as side entertainment.

    As an American, I think cycling requires to high of an IQ for the fat, American, slob, in the
    grandstand wearing face paint, no shirt, and a giant piece of cheese on his head while it is 20
    degrees outside.

    And this is coming from an American in California.
     
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  2. If you are waiting for Americans to get smarter, then cycling will never be popular in the USA.
     
  3. Henry

    Henry Guest

    but bikes get in the way of SUVs

    "Tony Austn" <[email protected]_screw_spam> wrote in message
    news:[email protected]...
    > If you are an American and lover cycling, your IQ has to be well over 110 points
    >
    > Cycling is not popular here in America because Americans can only understand racing if it has no
    > right turns in it. (Like Nascar or Indy. And then those poor, "gifted", Americans who can't even
    > understand NASCAR prefer drag racing because it has no turns.)
    >
    > Oh, the names of the "athletes" have to be: Dale, Ernie, Bubba, Jethro, or Bobby to be able to get
    > an endorsement and they have to come from a state that only has three last names. (I will let your
    > imagination figure out why there are only three last names.)
    >
    > Why isn't grand prix, cycling, or motorcycle racing popular?, because the average American is an
    > idiot and prefers Jerry Springer over Chris Matthews, or Nascar; whose redneck drivers can barely
    > speak American english or are even able point out where France is on a map, over cycling.
    >
    > The American public prefers sports where beer is sold and cheerleaders with fake blonde hair with
    > those silly colored stripes in it with strange colors that you see no where else in nature and who
    > actually consider Pam Anderson, or Anna Nicole Smith as a role model as side entertainment.
    >
    > As an American, I think cycling requires to high of an IQ for the fat, American, slob, in the
    > grandstand wearing face paint, no shirt, and a giant piece of cheese on his head while it is 20
    > degrees outside.
    >
    > And this is coming from an American in California.
     
  4. Cycling Joe

    Cycling Joe Guest

    I have a few bubba's at the office who've enjoyed the hell out of the TDF this year now that
    it's on OLN.
     
  5. Warren

    Warren Guest

    In article <[email protected]>, Edward Waffle
    <[email protected]> wrote:

    > If you are waiting for Americans to get smarter, then cycling will never be popular in the USA.

    Consider this... As Americans continue to get fatter I'm seeing more and more of these fatties
    riding their bikes on the bike trail. 45 miles of paved and shaded paths with water fountains and
    picnic tables every few miles while riding next to a nice river is a good way to do something like
    exercise. Perhaps there is a point where the fattie says, "I'm 40 pounds overweight and I've got to
    do something about it. Riding a bike looks easy enough and alot more comfortable than running so
    I'll try that." The other interesting thing around here at least is that in the last two years or so
    the proportion of those beginners that are women has grown to about 50%.

    -WG
     
  6. warren wrote in message <210720032204291477%[email protected]>...
    >In article <[email protected]>, Edward Waffle
    ><[email protected]> wrote:
    >
    >> If you are waiting for Americans to get smarter, then cycling will never
    be
    >> popular in the USA.
    >
    >Consider this... As Americans continue to get fatter I'm seeing more and more of these fatties
    >riding their bikes on the bike trail.

    With all due respect: F*ck them and the bike they rode in on. Morons spend a lot of money on what
    they consider to be mountain bikes and then can't find any place to ride them other than the damned
    sidewalks.

    The "bike" paths are full of people walking and pushing strollers.
     
  7. Tony Austn

    Tony Austn Guest

    In article <[email protected]>, "Edward Waffle"
    <[email protected]> wrote:

    >
    > The "bike" paths are full of people walking and pushing strollers.

    I hate that so much. I have fallen twice because of that. It's always the fat pig with the dog and
    the two kids who really belong on the leash.
     
  8. Raptor

    Raptor Guest

    Tony Austn wrote:
    > The American public prefers sports where beer is sold and cheerleaders with fake blonde hair with
    > those silly colored stripes in it with

    Now, there's an idea!

    Le Tour doesn't need them - the podium girls are enough for the organization. But the TEAMS, at
    least the top ones, could hire cheerleading squads.

    I'm not enough of a marketing genius to figure out how best to work them into each stage. They've
    got to be in front of the cameras every day.

    (OLN needs to make a commercial based on your whole arrogant, but possibly correct, post.)

    --
    --
    Lynn Wallace http://www.xmission.com/~lawall "I'm not proud. We really haven't done everything we
    could to protect our customers. Our products just aren't engineered for security." --Microsoft VP in
    charge of Windows OS Development, Brian Valentine.
     
  9. Tezza

    Tezza New Member

    Joined:
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    Tony,
    You give me hope. All we see here in Aus, is the dumb yank courtesy of some third rate TV show or Hollywood fantasy. Your comments make it clear that there really is intelligent life out there.
    Cheers,
    Tezza
     
  10. "Edward Waffle" <[email protected]> wrote in message
    >
    > The "bike" paths are full of people walking and pushing strollers.
    >

    Which is exactly the same attitude that many drivers have with bikes on the road.
     
  11. In article <210720032204291477%[email protected]>, warren <[email protected]> wrote:

    > In article <[email protected]>, Edward Waffle
    > <[email protected]> wrote:
    >
    > > If you are waiting for Americans to get smarter, then cycling will never be popular in the USA.
    >
    > Consider this... As Americans continue to get fatter I'm seeing more and more of these fatties
    > riding their bikes on the bike trail. 45 miles of paved and shaded paths with water fountains and
    > picnic tables every few miles while riding next to a nice river is a good way to do something like
    > exercise. Perhaps there is a point where the fattie says, "I'm 40 pounds overweight and I've got
    > to do something about it. Riding a bike looks easy enough and alot more comfortable than running
    > so I'll try that." The other interesting thing around here at least is that in the last two years
    > or so the proportion of those beginners that are women has grown to about 50%.
    >
    > -WG

    I think we also have to lose the dumb north american idea that athletes have to be huge muscled
    hulks or beer drinking bubbas.

    Yesterday as I was doing my stretches I caught "Oprah" and they were doing those weight-loss success
    stories where people come out on stage having lost like 300 pounds and they look great. In most
    cases it was because they didn't ever get any exercise, like most good americans. But I'm always
    hearing those stories from cyclists, about how they were really fat and out of shape and then got
    into cycling. "I was so fat I couldn't get into the drops, etc". We just met up with one of those
    guys recently. He'd been an athlete then got all tubby and out of shape and then got into cycling,
    and now he's 55 and races, and has the physique of a 25 year old. I see people like that often,
    mostly men I admit. They should get those success stories on Oprah and then everyone will see that
    cycling is not only a sport, it can take those pounds off, add years to your life, make you look 25
    years younger and it's actually FUN! People think of 'exercise' and oftne they think of grueling,
    boring routines. I wasn't even fat but I've lost 6 pounds since the beginning of the season!
     
  12. In article <[email protected]>, Tony Austn
    <[email protected]_screw_spam> wrote:

    > In article <[email protected]>, "Edward Waffle"
    > <[email protected]> wrote:
    >
    > >
    > > The "bike" paths are full of people walking and pushing strollers.
    >
    >
    > I hate that so much. I have fallen twice because of that. It's always the fat pig with the dog and
    > the two kids who really belong on the leash.

    OR dumb teenage parents on ROLLERBLADES pushing their strollers!
     
  13. Rz

    Rz Guest

    "Lover cycling"? Who's the idiot?

    "Tony Austn" <[email protected]_screw_spam> wrote in message
    news:[email protected]...
    > If you are an American and lover cycling, your IQ has to be well over 110 points
    >
    > Cycling is not popular here in America because Americans can only understand racing if it has no
    > right turns in it. (Like Nascar or Indy. And then those poor, "gifted", Americans who can't even
    > understand NASCAR prefer drag racing because it has no turns.)
    >
    > Oh, the names of the "athletes" have to be: Dale, Ernie, Bubba, Jethro, or Bobby to be able to get
    > an endorsement and they have to come from a state that only has three last names. (I will let your
    > imagination figure out why there are only three last names.)
    >
    > Why isn't grand prix, cycling, or motorcycle racing popular?, because the average American is an
    > idiot and prefers Jerry Springer over Chris Matthews, or Nascar; whose redneck drivers can barely
    > speak American english or are even able point out where France is on a map, over cycling.
    >
    > The American public prefers sports where beer is sold and cheerleaders with fake blonde hair with
    > those silly colored stripes in it with strange colors that you see no where else in nature and who
    > actually consider Pam Anderson, or Anna Nicole Smith as a role model as side entertainment.
    >
    > As an American, I think cycling requires to high of an IQ for the fat, American, slob, in the
    > grandstand wearing face paint, no shirt, and a giant piece of cheese on his head while it is 20
    > degrees outside.
    >
    > And this is coming from an American in California.
     
  14. Marty

    Marty Guest

    "Raptor" <[email protected]> wrote in message news:[email protected]...
    > Tony Austn wrote:
    > > The American public prefers sports where beer is sold and cheerleaders with fake blonde hair
    > > with those silly colored stripes in it with
    >
    > Now, there's an idea!
    >
    > Le Tour doesn't need them - the podium girls are enough for the organization. But the TEAMS, at
    > least the top ones, could hire cheerleading squads.

    Rabobank has one. Not a squad, but one cheerleader.
     
  15. Dave Allar

    Dave Allar Guest

    > "Tony Austn" <[email protected]_screw_spam> wrote in message
    > news:[email protected]...

    -snip incredibaly arogant and ignorant rant...

    > > And this is coming from an American in California.
    >

    American in California...quite an oxymoron...
     
  16. Tony Austn

    Tony Austn Guest

    In article <[email protected]>, "RZ" <[email protected]> wrote:

    > "Lover cycling"? Who's the idiot?

    It's called a typo, loser, and if you knew how to work your news reader you would have only quoted
    only a line or two instead of six paragraphs.

    >
    > "Tony Austn" <[email protected]_screw_spam> wrote in message
    > news:[email protected]...
    > > If you are an American and lover cycling, your IQ has to be well over 110 points
    > >
    > > Cycling is not popular here in America because Americans can only understand racing if it has no
    > > right turns in it. (Like Nascar or Indy. And then those poor, "gifted", Americans who can't even
    > > understand NASCAR prefer drag racing because it has no turns.)
    > >
    > > Oh, the names of the "athletes" have to be: Dale, Ernie, Bubba, Jethro, or Bobby to be able to
    > > get an endorsement and they have to come from a state that only has three last names. (I will
    > > let your imagination figure out why there are only three last names.)
    > >
    > > Why isn't grand prix, cycling, or motorcycle racing popular?, because the average American is an
    > > idiot and prefers Jerry Springer over Chris Matthews, or Nascar; whose redneck drivers can
    > > barely speak American english or are even able point out where France is on a map, over cycling.
    > >
    > > The American public prefers sports where beer is sold and cheerleaders with fake blonde hair
    > > with those silly colored stripes in it with strange colors that you see no where else in nature
    > > and who actually consider Pam Anderson, or Anna Nicole Smith as a role model as side
    > > entertainment.
    > >
    > > As an American, I think cycling requires to high of an IQ for the fat, American, slob, in the
    > > grandstand wearing face paint, no shirt, and a giant piece of cheese on his head while it is 20
    > > degrees outside.
    > >
    > > And this is coming from an American in California.
     
  17. Tony Austn

    Tony Austn Guest

  18. Tom Ewall

    Tom Ewall Guest

    Tony Austn <[email protected]_screw_spam> wrote in message
    news:<[email protected]>...
    > If you are an American and lover cycling, your IQ has to be well over 110 points
    >
    > Cycling is not popular here in America because Americans can only understand racing if it has no
    > right turns in it.

    Left turns.
     
  19. "Tony Austn" <[email protected]_screw_spam> wrote in message
    news:[email protected]...
    > In article <[email protected]>, "Edward Waffle"
    > <[email protected]> wrote:
    >
    > >
    > > The "bike" paths are full of people walking and pushing strollers.
    >
    >
    > I hate that so much. I have fallen twice because of that. It's always the fat pig with the dog and
    > the two kids who really belong on the leash.

    The get out of my way mentality is ugly. If you want to ride more than 8 mph, ride on the street.
     
  20. Marty wrote in message ...
    >"Raptor" <[email protected]> wrote in message news:[email protected]...
    >> Tony Austn wrote:
    >> > The American public prefers sports where beer is sold and cheerleaders with fake blonde hair
    >> > with those silly colored stripes in it with
    >>
    >> Now, there's an idea!
    >>
    >> Le Tour doesn't need them - the podium girls are enough for the organization. But the TEAMS, at
    >> least the top ones, could hire cheerleading squads.
    >
    >Rabobank has one. Not a squad, but one cheerleader.

    What does ONE cheerleader do? Besides "lead cheers" of course.
     
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