Darsh is back!



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Darsh

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I was not gone long I know, but it felt like an eternity.

This post I am certain, will not be for the faint of heart. I plan on holding nothing back...

Here we go.

"OK then... ohh yes.. wow..what the hell...how the heck...."

My eyes were closed. I was lieing on my side. My ass was exposed to the interior walls of the tiny
examination room.

"It is very odd....look at that, it goes up there..." She poked up into the lower areas of
my scrotum.

My Italian doctor spoke English well enough, but somewhat broken all the same. She wondered out
loud. The wondering back and forth made me very nervous. She made me nervous.

"I don't see it being connected to the rectum... it.. well, it must be...ohh, that is very strange.
Yes, yes, it must be no good."

My heart surged from cancer to doom and back at every yes that meant no and no that meant yes.

"Well, hope it connected, it must be connected, but where?"

I did not know.

She began banging cabinet doors around... "Where is the goobly-goop...", she muttered. I
understood this to mean what it meant. I remembered the first, and last time my anus was violated.
It felt wonderful. I was in such pain from an enlarged appendix. When the doctor inserted his
finger, and found the truth of my problem, I was relieved beyond faith itself. My appendix was out
40 minutes later.

"I have very small fingers", she said.

REEEAAAAALLLYYYYY!!!

Moments later, I tried to breath deep, my clinching was not helping matters any. It was hindering
her progress through her kindness, and it was paining me with the hinderance. It was happening, and
it was going to happen further. Sure she had small fingers, but why did they grow long like they did
when they were in my ass?

"Hmm", she mumbled as she exited as is my internal purpose. She had explored the internal lump, and
she was perplexed. I was perplexed as well.

Was the lump an issue with my prostrate? My heart sank as it had done after rising about 10 times
that day.... yesterday. She needed more tools. The banging of the cabinet doors began again. I was
in complete understanding what was next. I knew it would be bigger, it would be longer....

I was incorrect. She began talking about needles. I rolled my eyes up and wanted to die. I spoke of
needles and the possibility of great pain. The lump was not associated with my anus, but it as
between the scrotum and the anus. The needle would not be in my anus; was it consolation? I did not
feel very well. I began muttering.

"I have read stuff on the internet... no, but.. I just..... well..."

She was telling me that she was going to find the smallest needle. I wondered if she knew what the
smallest needle was.

PIZZINGGGGG, ZINGGGG... WEEE, BINGGG!

"Well, don't move around!"

I chose to stay still, the needling into my "soft" skin was squekingly bright. White light bright,
making things with light. Out of sight when you play with light bright. I maintained composure as I
squeezed the table end with all my might.

"I show you. Wow, this is good. It is happening."

I knew it was happening. It was happening for sure.

I told her I had no desire to see what was in the capsule of the syringe, but she put it in front of
my face anyway. 10cc's of pure puss. She looked at me like I should have been proud. I was not
proud. There was at least another 40cc's of fluid that needed to be had. I had a substantial lump.

The doors began slapping again. Something about a light and/or a camera. I wasn't smiling, so I knew
the camera was not for my face. I knew it was not a Poloroid she was after. I prayed that she would
not find the instrument she desired. My previous fear before the needle was erupting in my mind.

I heard her outside the office. She was yelling for the tool. Did anyone have it? Who used it? Where
could it be?

"Ohhh, hahaaa, the tool here now..."

She came back in with a young girl in tow. I was a mere lab rat at that point. I was lieing on my
side, my pants pulled down... sort of fetalish. I could see the understanding on the face of the
young girl. The only thing she saw, other than the doctor probing my ass, was my pain, and it made
me feel better. A large light went on that heated my exposed ass cheeks. The doctor began to go to
work with a tool I did not see, and I have never seen to this day.

"Ohhh no, don't push it out..."

I was 34 years old. The only thing that incredible muscle had ever done, was push things out. Who
the hell was she kidding? It did not matter, as she buckled down. She made sure that the point was
no longer to push it out, but to hold it in. I attempted to breath and relax....right.

At the point of maximum discomfort, without seeing her, I felt her gain immediate understanding of
my problem. I was to go directly to the hospital for surgery. She did not even give me a proper
wipe. I slithered my pants back onto a wet, slippery ass. I no longer doubted my Italian doctors
skill. I felt her understanding my condition, as I had done so many years ago with another doctor
and another condition. I was very pleased.

I did as told, and went to Aspen Valley Hospital. I was admitted as if I had walked from the parking
lot on a red carpet. It was time to explore the situation further. I had a busted cyst that had
developed into quite an abcess in a matter of 48 hours.

I lay face down on 8 pillows, no less. The anethesiologist demaded 8 pillows, and they were stacked
just so as I entered the OR. He literally would not go into the OR without 8 pillows. He was in
command. I layed down on the pillows. The anethesiologist instucted me in an amusing way to adjust
my balls so they would be comfortable. Something about big guns and heavy ammunition that made
perfect sense.

Doctor Scannell came in, and the control shifted to the surgeon. The anethesiologist spoke further
to me in fun.

"So, where do you want to go on your vacation?"

I muttered as I lay face down on a bunch of pillows, "What?".

One of the nurses (all of them male) coined up a joke about my position. I laughed, and told him
that my view was a heck of a lot better than his. I was looking at the floor, he was looking at my
asshole. Everyone laughed.

"You are about to go on a vacation... do you like beer? OK, well I am about to hand you a cold
Corona... tell me when you taste it OK?"

I don't remember a thing after that, but I do know that shortly after that point he shoved a very
large gauge needle into my lower back. What did I know?

I woke up in post-op. I got my glasses. I then woke up in my room. The percocete flowed after that.
I was in no pain, but it flowed anyway. The local had made me paralyzed from the waist down for
about 10 hours. I was literally a paraplegic, and from what I remember, it was heartening.

When I told the nurse this morning that I did actually have a fair amount of dull pain, a pain that
seemed to me to stem from the back shot as opposed to the surgery itself, she simply agreed with me.

"Yep, that is bound to happen."

The cyst was busted up, and the remaining sludge removed; the abcess was drained and packed. Two
small incisions. One packed open, and one closed from cyst particle extraction.

Later, the nurse seeing me in a state of sleeping pain, delivered two percocetes that sent me into
oblivion. *****. She must have thought I was kidding about my pain. I don't whine about pain, and I
never ASK for pain meds. I am not a pill guy, but I have learned over the years that pain medication
is benificial to healing for real issues.

Then, not 2 hours later, I was released and sent to drive home. I could not belive it. Good thing I
live less than a mile from the hospital. I was definately percolating.

The food, as it always is, is an oddity. Hospitals work very hard to make food taste that way. There
is no way to make it so bad unless you really try, but I understand they have to do it that way. It
is not a matter of keeping it plain, it is a matter of making it that way.... through necessity.

8 IV bags of solution, and 4 bags of antibiotic later, I was sent on my way. I made a hasty retreat
out the back door, and sucked the air of the free world again.

I was a whole man, and I was free from the worry of cancer that had plagued me for a month. In a
very small way, under careful watch, this had materialized over that period of time. Until the last
few days, it was nothing, but something to watch. The original lunp had actually gone away from what
I knew, but after Sunday, and then Monday of riding the skibike, I knew I had aggravated something
into a bold life.

For the results I got in treatment, I would deal with what I have dealt with everyday, just to live
this life. If I had not gone in, I would have dropped dead very soon....

Probably less than most of you have dealt with yourself, or within your families. I realize that my
problem was not all that severe. I went to Tom's Pharmacy and got 40 tabs of Hydrocodone. I have
zero pain, so it will be good to have a store of meds for future injuries.

Good luck, and go cyst/tumor/abcess free!

Darsh

(And also, while I feel so humbled, health to your families and friends! I am sure in a few days I
will go back to being the same "asshole"... hahah, that you know to love and hate. Be well and
peace to all.)
 
"Darsh" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> I was not gone long I know, but it felt like an eternity.
>
> This post I am certain, will not be for the faint of heart. I plan on holding nothing back...

{Snip snip / cut cut deTAILs of riveting, uh, tale}

Glad they were able to fix you up, Darshman -- take it easy for a few, OK?!?

Reminded me of some procedures I underwent during my self-destructive youth. Had some internal
bleeding (or so they thought), so had both upper & lower
G.I. series.

Also had a proctoscopy, performed by a VERY attractive (fell in love with her)
gastrowhateverologist. Best line of the day?

"We're going to go around a curve now..."

("Uuuuunnnnnnhhhhhhhh.")

I feel your pain, brother!

Bill "hope my damn 'persistent saddle sore' ain't no friggin' cyst" S.
 
"Darsh" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> I was not gone long I know, but it felt like an eternity.
>
> This post I am certain, will not be for the faint of heart. I plan on holding nothing back...
>
> Here we go.
>
> "OK then... ohh yes.. wow..what the hell...how the heck...."
>
> My eyes were closed. I was lieing on my side. My ass was exposed to the interior walls of the tiny
> examination room.
>
> "It is very odd....look at that, it goes up there..." She poked up into the lower areas of my
> scrotum.
>
> My Italian doctor spoke English well enough, but somewhat broken all the same. She wondered out
> loud. The wondering back and forth made me very nervous. She made me nervous.
>
> "I don't see it being connected to the rectum... it.. well, it must be...ohh, that is very
> strange. Yes, yes, it must be no good."
>
> My heart surged from cancer to doom and back at every yes that meant no and no that meant yes.
>
> "Well, hope it connected, it must be connected, but where?"
>
> I did not know.
>
> She began banging cabinet doors around... "Where is the goobly-goop...", she muttered. I
> understood this to mean what it meant. I remembered the first, and last time my anus was violated.
> It felt wonderful. I was in such pain from an enlarged appendix. When the doctor inserted his
> finger, and found the truth of my problem, I was relieved beyond faith itself. My appendix was out
> 40 minutes later.
>
> "I have very small fingers", she said.
>
> REEEAAAAALLLYYYYY!!!
>
> Moments later, I tried to breath deep, my clinching was not helping matters any. It was hindering
> her progress through her kindness, and it was paining me with the hinderance. It was happening,
> and it was going to happen further. Sure she had small fingers, but why did they grow long like
> they did when they were in my ass?
>
> "Hmm", she mumbled as she exited as is my internal purpose. She had explored the internal lump,
> and she was perplexed. I was perplexed as well.
>
> Was the lump an issue with my prostrate? My heart sank as it had done after rising about 10 times
> that day.... yesterday. She needed more tools. The banging of the cabinet doors began again. I was
> in complete understanding what was next. I knew it would be bigger, it would be longer....
>
> I was incorrect. She began talking about needles. I rolled my eyes up and wanted to die. I spoke
> of needles and the possibility of great pain. The lump was not associated with my anus, but it as
> between the scrotum and the anus. The needle would not be in my anus; was it consolation? I did
> not feel very well. I began muttering.
>
> "I have read stuff on the internet... no, but.. I just..... well..."
>
> She was telling me that she was going to find the smallest needle. I wondered if she knew what the
> smallest needle was.
>
> PIZZINGGGGG, ZINGGGG... WEEE, BINGGG!
>
> "Well, don't move around!"
>
> I chose to stay still, the needling into my "soft" skin was squekingly bright. White light bright,
> making things with light. Out of sight when you play with light bright. I maintained composure as
> I squeezed the table end with all my might.
>
> "I show you. Wow, this is good. It is happening."
>
> I knew it was happening. It was happening for sure.
>
> I told her I had no desire to see what was in the capsule of the syringe, but she put it in front
> of my face anyway. 10cc's of pure puss. She looked at me like I should have been proud. I was not
> proud. There was at least another 40cc's of fluid that needed to be had. I had a substantial lump.
>
> The doors began slapping again. Something about a light and/or a camera. I wasn't smiling, so I
> knew the camera was not for my face. I knew it was not a Poloroid she was after. I prayed that
> she would not find the instrument she desired. My previous fear before the needle was erupting in
> my mind.
>
> I heard her outside the office. She was yelling for the tool. Did anyone have it? Who used it?
> Where could it be?
>
> "Ohhh, hahaaa, the tool here now..."
>
> She came back in with a young girl in tow. I was a mere lab rat at that point. I was lieing on my
> side, my pants pulled down... sort of fetalish. I could see the understanding on the face of the
> young girl. The only thing she saw, other than the doctor probing my ass, was my pain, and it made
> me feel better. A large light went on that heated my exposed ass cheeks. The doctor began to go to
> work with a tool I did not see, and I have never seen to this day.
>
> "Ohhh no, don't push it out..."
>
> I was 34 years old. The only thing that incredible muscle had ever done, was push things out. Who
> the hell was she kidding? It did not matter, as she buckled down. She made sure that the point was
> no longer to push it out, but to hold it in. I attempted to breath and relax....right.
>
> At the point of maximum discomfort, without seeing her, I felt her gain immediate understanding of
> my problem. I was to go directly to the hospital for surgery. She did not even give me a proper
> wipe. I slithered my pants back onto a wet, slippery ass. I no longer doubted my Italian doctors
> skill. I felt her understanding my condition, as I had done so many years ago with another doctor
> and another condition. I was very pleased.
>
> I did as told, and went to Aspen Valley Hospital. I was admitted as if I had walked from the
> parking lot on a red carpet. It was time to explore the situation further. I had a busted cyst
> that had developed into quite an abcess in a matter of 48 hours.
>
> I lay face down on 8 pillows, no less. The anethesiologist demaded 8 pillows, and they were
> stacked just so as I entered the OR. He literally would not go into the OR without 8 pillows. He
> was in command. I layed down on the pillows. The anethesiologist instucted me in an amusing way to
> adjust my balls so they would be comfortable. Something about big guns and heavy ammunition that
> made perfect sense.
>
> Doctor Scannell came in, and the control shifted to the surgeon. The anethesiologist spoke further
> to me in fun.
>
> "So, where do you want to go on your vacation?"
>
> I muttered as I lay face down on a bunch of pillows, "What?".
>
> One of the nurses (all of them male) coined up a joke about my position. I laughed, and told him
> that my view was a heck of a lot better than his. I was looking at the floor, he was looking at my
> asshole. Everyone laughed.
>
> "You are about to go on a vacation... do you like beer? OK, well I am about to hand you a cold
> Corona... tell me when you taste it OK?"
>
> I don't remember a thing after that, but I do know that shortly after that point he shoved a very
> large gauge needle into my lower back. What did I know?
>
> I woke up in post-op. I got my glasses. I then woke up in my room. The percocete flowed after
> that. I was in no pain, but it flowed anyway. The local had made me paralyzed from the waist down
> for about 10 hours. I was literally a paraplegic, and from what I remember, it was heartening.
>
> When I told the nurse this morning that I did actually have a fair amount of dull pain, a pain
> that seemed to me to stem from the back shot as opposed to the surgery itself, she simply agreed
> with me.
>
> "Yep, that is bound to happen."
>
> The cyst was busted up, and the remaining sludge removed; the abcess was drained and packed. Two
> small incisions. One packed open, and one closed from cyst particle extraction.
>
> Later, the nurse seeing me in a state of sleeping pain, delivered two percocetes that sent me into
> oblivion. *****. She must have thought I was kidding about my pain. I don't whine about pain, and
> I never ASK for pain meds. I am not a pill guy, but I have learned over the years that pain
> medication is benificial to healing for real issues.
>
> Then, not 2 hours later, I was released and sent to drive home. I could not belive it. Good thing
> I live less than a mile from the hospital. I was definately percolating.
>
> The food, as it always is, is an oddity. Hospitals work very hard to make food taste that way.
> There is no way to make it so bad unless you really try, but I understand they have to do it that
> way. It is not a matter of keeping it plain, it is a matter of making it that way.... through
> necessity.
>
> 8 IV bags of solution, and 4 bags of antibiotic later, I was sent on my way. I made a hasty
> retreat out the back door, and sucked the air of the free world again.
>
> I was a whole man, and I was free from the worry of cancer that had plagued me for a month. In a
> very small way, under careful watch, this had materialized over that period of time. Until the
> last few days, it was nothing, but something to watch. The original lunp had actually gone away
> from what I knew, but after Sunday, and then Monday of riding the skibike, I knew I had aggravated
> something into a bold life.
>
> For the results I got in treatment, I would deal with what I have dealt with everyday, just to
> live this life. If I had not gone in, I would have dropped dead very soon....
>
>
>
> Probably less than most of you have dealt with yourself, or within your families. I realize that
> my problem was not all that severe. I went to Tom's Pharmacy and got 40 tabs of Hydrocodone. I
> have zero pain, so it will be good to have a store of meds for future injuries.
>
> Good luck, and go cyst/tumor/abcess free!
>
> Darsh
>
> (And also, while I feel so humbled, health to your families and friends! I am sure in a few days I
> will go back to being the same "asshole"... hahah, that you know to love and hate. Be well and
> peace to all.)

Call me sick, but reading of Darsh's penetration was far more enjoyable than any RR!

Glad it turned out well.
--
Slacker
 
"Slacker" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> "Darsh" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> > I was not gone long I know, but it felt like an eternity.
> >
> > This post I am certain, will not be for the faint of heart. I plan on holding nothing back...

{snipped AGAIN!}

> Call me sick, but reading of Darsh's penetration was far more enjoyable
than any RR!
>
> Glad it turned out well.

For a second there, Slackman, I thought you were gonna pull a Wheeler!

Bill "leave the entire RR (or OR in this case) and then say 'Nice!'" S.
 
"Sorni" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
>
> "Slacker" <[email protected]> wrote in message
> news:[email protected]...
> > "Darsh" <[email protected]> wrote in message
> news:[email protected]...
> > > I was not gone long I know, but it felt like an eternity.
> > >
> > > This post I am certain, will not be for the faint of heart. I plan on holding nothing back...
>
> {snipped AGAIN!}
>
>
> > Call me sick, but reading of Darsh's penetration was far more enjoyable
> than any RR!
> >
> > Glad it turned out well.
>
> For a second there, Slackman, I thought you were gonna pull a Wheeler!
>
> Bill "leave the entire RR (or OR in this case) and then say 'Nice!'" S.

Lol !!! I was so wrapped up in the story that I forgot to snip it before replying.

--
Slacker
 
"Darsh" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> I was not gone long I know, but it felt like an eternity.
>
> This post I am certain, will not be for the faint of heart. I plan on holding nothing back...
<snip>

I knew someone that had something very similar and it was just as icky and painful. Still, he's good
as gold now. May you have a speedy and full recovery.

Westie
 
On Sat, 08 Feb 2003 05:35:42 GMT, "Darsh" <[email protected]> wrote:

[snip an eternity of pain]

>(And also, while I feel so humbled, health to your families and friends! I am sure in a few days I
>will go back to being the same "asshole"... hahah, that you know to love and hate. Be well and
>peace to all.)
>
>
Darsh, glad it turned out alright! Do what's right and live right.

Best wishes and a speedy recovery, Bill

The mind serves properly as a window glass rather than as a reflector, that is, the mind should give
an immediate view instead of an interpretation of the world.
:-]
 
>{snipped AGAIN!}
>
>
>> Call me sick, but reading of Darsh's penetration was far more enjoyable
>than any RR!
>>
>> Glad it turned out well.
>
>For a second there, Slackman, I thought you were gonna pull a Wheeler!
>
>Bill "leave the entire RR (or OR in this case) and then say 'Nice!'" S.

ROFLMAO!

The mind serves properly as a window glass rather than as a reflector, that is, the mind should give
an immediate view instead of an interpretation of the world.
:-]
 
Darsh wrote:
> I was not gone long I know, but it felt like an eternity.
>
> This post I am certain, will not be for the faint of heart. I plan on holding nothing back...
<snip>

And I thought my saddle sore surgery story was icky...

Glad to hear it "taint" cancer.

You'll want to get back in the saddle as soon as you get the okay, even if it hurts. It'll help keep
the scar tissue from drawing up into a tight knot.

Kathleen
 
On Fri, 07 Feb 2003 21:35:42 -0800, Darsh wrote:

> I was not gone long I know, but it felt like an eternity.
>
> This post I am certain, will not be for the faint of heart. I plan on holding nothing back...
>
> Here we go.
>
> "OK then... ohh yes.. wow..what the hell...how the heck...."
>
> My eyes were closed. I was lieing on my side. My ass was exposed to the interior walls of the tiny
> examination room.
>
> "It is very odd....look at that, it goes up there..." She poked up into the lower areas of my
> scrotum.

...and _this_ is where I stop reading, and assume that because you are posting that
everything is ok.

Glad you made it.

gabrielle
 
"Kathleen" <[email protected]> wrote in message news:[email protected]...
> Darsh wrote:
> > I was not gone long I know, but it felt like an eternity.
> >
> > This post I am certain, will not be for the faint of heart. I plan on holding nothing back...
> <snip>
>
> And I thought my saddle sore surgery story was icky...
>
> Glad to hear it "taint" cancer.
>
> You'll want to get back in the saddle as soon as you get the okay, even if it hurts. It'll help
> keep the scar tissue from drawing up into a tight knot.

This is very interesting and purposeful sounding advise. I will definately talk to the doctor about
that on Tuesday.

Thanks for the info.

darsh

>
> Kathleen
 
"Darsh" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:<[email protected]>...
> I was not gone long I know, but it felt like an eternity.
>
> This post I am certain, will not be for the faint of heart. I plan on holding nothing back...
>
> Here we go.
>
> "OK then... ohh yes.. wow..what the hell...how the heck...."
>
> Good luck, and go cyst/tumor/abcess free!
>
> Darsh
>
> (And also, while I feel so humbled, health to your families and friends! I am sure in a few days I
> will go back to being the same "asshole"... hahah, that you know to love and hate. Be well and
> peace to all.)

Well, first, glad you're OK. Second, that was more detail than we needed, but hey, you're probably
still hallucinating and can't be held accountable for what you wrote. Thank God for good pain meds.
And if it's any consolation, which it aint, is that many have been there and done that to one degree
or another. As I show my kids my scars, making up some cool story, "this scar I got in a fight in
Zanzibar...., that one was Morroco...." yeah right.

Paladin
 
I wouldn't let them probe when I went in the army back in the 70s. But now since I'm up in that so
called age bracket. I hate and last year it was the 1st time and I wasn't right for a few days. I
don't even want to think about calling for this years appointment. Wish there was an easier way. And
sure less painfull. Come on your be back in the saddle before you know it.

Fire up MTB 03
 
"Paladin" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> "Darsh" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:<[email protected]>...
> > I was not gone long I know, but it felt like an eternity.
> >
> > This post I am certain, will not be for the faint of heart. I plan on holding nothing back...
> > {snippage...literally!}

> Well, first, glad you're OK. Second, that was more detail than we needed, but hey, you're probably
> still hallucinating and can't be held accountable for what you wrote. Thank God for good pain
> meds. And if it's any consolation, which it aint, is that many have been there and done that to
> one degree or another. As I show my kids my scars, making up some cool story, "this scar I got in
> a fight in Zanzibar...., that one was Morroco...." yeah right.

If Darsh shows his kids THIS scar, someone alert Child Protective Services!

Bill "shades of Wacko Jacko" S.
 
----------
In article <[email protected]>, "Darsh" <[email protected]> wrote:

> Sure she had small fingers, but why did they grow long like they did when they were in my ass?

I wonder who's on the wrong end of this interaction?

Paul
 
<[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> I wouldn't let them probe when I went in the army back in the 70s. But now since
> I'm up in that so called age bracket. I hate and last year it was the 1st time
> and I wasn't right for a few days. I don't even want to think about calling for
> this years appointment. Wish there was an easier way. And sure less painfull.
> Come on your be back in the saddle before you know it.
>
> Fire up MTB 03
>

If you're not right for a few days afterwards, you need to find better doctors who use better
equipment.
 
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