I'm not one to encourage another to file for a divorce, but having said that, I do not know the whole picture you're faced with.
The only piece of advice I can give is that marriage only works if you actively seek to make it work. A newlywed couple would have a very different understanding of love in comparison to a couple celebrating their 30th wedding anniversary.
With the newlywed couple, the passion, the lust, the romance is overpowering and everything is quickly forgotten/forgiven. But fast forward 2 years down the road when that whirlwind subsides, the honeymoon is over. Things pile up on top of one another you get bogged down. The kids come, you get bogged down even more. So where is the love??
The love is something you build over the years. It isn't something that happens overnight. Love at first sight really means lust at first sight. There is no love at first sight.
So as I've said, the best piece of advice I can give is to try to make things work. Its not going to be easy & there is no guarantee, but as you've said, it'll be the best for the kids.
Maybe try injecting a fresh perspective into things, and do things a little different in your marriage. Make the first move and see how your wife responds.