Do Not Open Until December 25th

Discussion in 'Cycling Equipment' started by Carl Fogel, Dec 25, 2003.

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  1. Carl Fogel

    Carl Fogel Guest

    Ah, Christmas, that wonderful time of the year when cheapskate bibliophiles can give the gift of
    book titles to people who deserve better!

    So here's a list of trashy thrillers, oddball humor, pompous fiction, and just plain weird stuff,
    all carefully selected, with many worthy people carelessly forgotten.

    Recepients may have already read their gifts, but can always re-read the books or ask for their
    money back.

    (Fat chance.)

    Anyone not on the list is welcome to read over everyone else's shoulders. If nothing else, you'll
    see a few sites for free books and screenplays.

    "Jim Beam," Jobst Brandt, and Simon Brooke "Three Men on a Bummel," Jerome K. Jerome
    http://www.gutenberg.net/etext00/tmotb10.txt (early European bicycle tour humor)

    Sheldon Brown "Taming the Bicycle," Mark Twain http://www.boondocksnet.com/twaintexts/bicycle.html
    (inspirational)

    Bret Cahill "Comrade Don Camillo," Giovanni Guareschi (better to read it after the other stories) or
    "The Little World of Don Camillo,' Giovanni Guareschi (Smilzo is the bicyclist)

    Peter Chisholm "Timber Line," Eugene Fowler (lurid history of the Denver Boast newspaper) or "Alfred
    Packer's Wilderness Cookbook," James E. Banks (Colorado cannibal cuisine)

    Chalo Colina and Frank Krygowski "The Ox-Bow Incident," Walter Van Tilburg Clark (book or movie) or
    "The Thing from Another World," Charles Lederer
    http://www.scifiscripts.com/scripts/ThingFromAnotherWorld.txt (the watch-the-skies ending that
    everyone knows) or "The Thing," Bill Lancaster http://www.scifiscripts.com/scripts/TheThing.txt (a
    much better ending by a different script writer)

    Robert Chung "To Live and Die in L.A." Gerald Petievich (crime in the big city--be sure to see FBI
    near-cameo in Chapter 22)

    Ryan Cosineau/Fabrizio Mazzoleni "The Search for Bridey Murphy," Morey Bernstein (fake multiple
    personalities by Pueblo author) or "I Led Three Lives," Herbert Philbrick (real multiple
    personalities)

    John Dacey "The Diary of Samuel Marchbanks," Robertson Davies (see Bacchic ode to chairman of the
    Liquor Control Board of Ontario) or "Fantastic Fables, Aesop Emendatus, and Old Saws with New
    Teeth," Ambrose Bierce http://www.gutenberg.net/etext95/fanfb10.txt (pre-Latin literature as it
    should have been)

    David (Damerell, "D," DVT, Johnson, Kahn, Kerber, Larrington, Lehnen, Ornee, Reuteler, Salovesh,
    Smith, Stallard, Thompson, Umterp, etc--I can't keep 15 Daves straight) "David Copperfield," Charles
    Dickens http://www.gutenberg.net/etext96/cprfd10.txt (remember, D.C. = C.D.)

    Gene Daniels "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland," Lewis Carroll
    http://www.gutenberg.net/etext91/alice30.txt or "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest," Ken Kesey
    http://www.dailyscript.com/scripts/oneflewover.html

    Per Elmstrater "The Wrecking Crew," Donald Hamilton (hey, I'm trying--it's set in Sweden, it's been
    translated)

    Carl Fogel "The Simpsons Treehouse of Horror Fun-Filled Fright-Fest" (the latest classic, $10.47 at
    Amazon) or "Henslowe's Diary" (records of cloaks-for-to-go-invisible cost more--$218.50)

    Phil Holman "The World of Mr. Mulliner," P.G. Wodehouse (more entertaining than my grandfather's
    "Applied Wing Theory")

    Andrew Muzi "Flashman and the Mountain of Light," George MacDonald Fraser (not the best Flashman,
    but see the password) or "The Whisky and the Music" in "The General Danced at Dawn," George
    MacDonald Fraser (the last four lines capture the essence of many rec.bicycles.tech disputes)

    Rick Onanian "The Caine Mutiny," Herman Wouk (it's not what everyone who rolls ball bearings
    thinks it is)

    David Reutler "Roughing It," Mark Twain, Chapters 12-17 and Appendices A & B (petrified truth, as
    Twain modestly admitted--see camel's fate at the end of Chapter 3)

    John Forrest Tomlinson "Luck" in "The Man That Corrupted Hadleyburg and Other Stories," Mark Twain
    http://www.gutenberg.net/etext02/mthdb11.txt (philosophical conundrum)

    Werehatrack "Brand of the Werewolf," Doc Savage #5, Kenneth Robeson (hey, don't complain--Per's
    getting a Matt Helm thriller) or "The Man Who Mistook His Wife For A Hat," Oliver Sacks (actually,
    Harold Klawans wrote better neurology-for-dummies)

    Shayne Wissler and David Damerell "The Interlopers" in "The Toys of Peace," Saki
    http://www.gutenberg.net/etext98/toypc10.txt (heart-warming reconciliation, Saki-style) or "The Blood-
    Feud of Toad-Water" in "Reginald in Russia," Saki http://www.gutenberg.net/etext99/rgrus10.txt (the
    title alone is worth it) or "How to Win Friends and Influence People," Dale Carnegie (actually, for
    everyone on rec.bicycles.tech)
     
    Tags:


  2. Thanks Carl-very neat!!!

    Peter Chisholm Vecchio's Bicicletteria 1833 Pearl St. Boulder, CO, 80302
    (303)440-3535 http://www.vecchios.com "Ruote convenzionali costruite eccezionalmente bene"
     
  3. Phil Holman

    Phil Holman Guest

    "Carl Fogel" <[email protected]> wrote in message
    news:[email protected]...
    > Ah, Christmas, that wonderful time of the year when cheapskate bibliophiles can give the gift of
    > book titles to people who deserve better!
    >
    > So here's a list of trashy thrillers, oddball humor, pompous fiction, and just plain weird stuff,
    > all carefully selected, with many worthy people carelessly forgotten.
    >
    > Recepients may have already read their gifts, but can always re-read the books or ask for their
    > money back.
    >
    > (Fat chance.)
    >
    > Anyone not on the list is welcome to read over everyone else's shoulders. If nothing else, you'll
    > see a few sites for free books and screenplays.

    > "How to Win Friends and Influence People," Dale Carnegie (actually, for everyone on
    > rec.bicycles.tech)

    I like this one although there are several NGs that have a much greater need than the folks at rbt.
    Happy holidays Carl and thanks for the thought.

    Phil Holman
     
  4. Jim Beam

    Jim Beam Guest

    i may live in san francisco, but i assure you, i'm not the kind of guy who would enjoy a bummel. ;)

    happy holidays.

    jb

    Carl Fogel wrote:
    > Ah, Christmas, that wonderful time of the year when cheapskate bibliophiles can give the gift of
    > book titles to people who deserve better!
    >
    > So here's a list of trashy thrillers, oddball humor, pompous fiction, and just plain weird stuff,
    > all carefully selected, with many worthy people carelessly forgotten.
    >
    > Recepients may have already read their gifts, but can always re-read the books or ask for their
    > money back.
    >
    > (Fat chance.)
    >
    > Anyone not on the list is welcome to read over everyone else's shoulders. If nothing else, you'll
    > see a few sites for free books and screenplays.
    >
    > "Jim Beam," Jobst Brandt, and Simon Brooke "Three Men on a Bummel," Jerome K. Jerome
    > http://www.gutenberg.net/etext00/tmotb10.txt (early European bicycle tour humor)
    >
    > Sheldon Brown "Taming the Bicycle," Mark Twain http://www.boondocksnet.com/twaintexts/bicycle.html
    > (inspirational)
    >
    > Bret Cahill "Comrade Don Camillo," Giovanni Guareschi (better to read it after the other stories)
    > or "The Little World of Don Camillo,' Giovanni Guareschi (Smilzo is the bicyclist)
    >
    > Peter Chisholm "Timber Line," Eugene Fowler (lurid history of the Denver Boast newspaper) or
    > "Alfred Packer's Wilderness Cookbook," James E. Banks (Colorado cannibal cuisine)
    >
    > Chalo Colina and Frank Krygowski "The Ox-Bow Incident," Walter Van Tilburg Clark (book or movie)
    > or "The Thing from Another World," Charles Lederer
    > http://www.scifiscripts.com/scripts/ThingFromAnotherWorld.txt (the watch-the-skies ending that
    > everyone knows) or "The Thing," Bill Lancaster http://www.scifiscripts.com/scripts/TheThing.txt (a
    > much better ending by a different script writer)
    >
    > Robert Chung "To Live and Die in L.A." Gerald Petievich (crime in the big city--be sure to see FBI
    > near-cameo in Chapter 22)
    >
    > Ryan Cosineau/Fabrizio Mazzoleni "The Search for Bridey Murphy," Morey Bernstein (fake multiple
    > personalities by Pueblo author) or "I Led Three Lives," Herbert Philbrick (real multiple
    > personalities)
    >
    > John Dacey "The Diary of Samuel Marchbanks," Robertson Davies (see Bacchic ode to chairman of the
    > Liquor Control Board of Ontario) or "Fantastic Fables, Aesop Emendatus, and Old Saws with New
    > Teeth," Ambrose Bierce http://www.gutenberg.net/etext95/fanfb10.txt (pre-Latin literature as it
    > should have been)
    >
    > David (Damerell, "D," DVT, Johnson, Kahn, Kerber, Larrington, Lehnen, Ornee, Reuteler, Salovesh,
    > Smith, Stallard, Thompson, Umterp, etc--I can't keep 15 Daves straight) "David Copperfield,"
    > Charles Dickens http://www.gutenberg.net/etext96/cprfd10.txt (remember, D.C. = C.D.)
    >
    > Gene Daniels "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland," Lewis Carroll
    > http://www.gutenberg.net/etext91/alice30.txt or "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest," Ken Kesey
    > http://www.dailyscript.com/scripts/oneflewover.html
    >
    > Per Elmstrater "The Wrecking Crew," Donald Hamilton (hey, I'm trying--it's set in Sweden, it's
    > been translated)
    >
    > Carl Fogel "The Simpsons Treehouse of Horror Fun-Filled Fright-Fest" (the latest classic, $10.47
    > at Amazon) or "Henslowe's Diary" (records of cloaks-for-to-go-invisible cost more--$218.50)
    >
    > Phil Holman "The World of Mr. Mulliner," P.G. Wodehouse (more entertaining than my grandfather's
    > "Applied Wing Theory")
    >
    > Andrew Muzi "Flashman and the Mountain of Light," George MacDonald Fraser (not the best Flashman,
    > but see the password) or "The Whisky and the Music" in "The General Danced at Dawn," George
    > MacDonald Fraser (the last four lines capture the essence of many rec.bicycles.tech disputes)
    >
    > Rick Onanian "The Caine Mutiny," Herman Wouk (it's not what everyone who rolls ball bearings
    > thinks it is)
    >
    > David Reutler "Roughing It," Mark Twain, Chapters 12-17 and Appendices A & B (petrified truth, as
    > Twain modestly admitted--see camel's fate at the end of Chapter 3)
    >
    > John Forrest Tomlinson "Luck" in "The Man That Corrupted Hadleyburg and Other Stories," Mark Twain
    > http://www.gutenberg.net/etext02/mthdb11.txt (philosophical conundrum)
    >
    > Werehatrack "Brand of the Werewolf," Doc Savage #5, Kenneth Robeson (hey, don't complain--Per's
    > getting a Matt Helm thriller) or "The Man Who Mistook His Wife For A Hat," Oliver Sacks (actually,
    > Harold Klawans wrote better neurology-for-dummies)
    >
    > Shayne Wissler and David Damerell "The Interlopers" in "The Toys of Peace," Saki
    > http://www.gutenberg.net/etext98/toypc10.txt (heart-warming reconciliation, Saki-style) or "The
    > Blood-Feud of Toad-Water" in "Reginald in Russia," Saki
    > http://www.gutenberg.net/etext99/rgrus10.txt (the title alone is worth it) or "How to Win Friends
    > and Influence People," Dale Carnegie (actually, for everyone on rec.bicycles.tech)
     
  5. John Dacey

    John Dacey Guest

    "Fiat justicia, ruat caelum." - Piso.
    On 24 Dec 2003 22:16:35 -0800, [email protected] (Carl Fogel)
    wrote:

    >Ah, Christmas, that wonderful time of the year when cheapskate bibliophiles can give the gift of
    >book titles to people who deserve better!
    >
    >So here's a list of trashy thrillers, oddball humor, pompous fiction, and just plain weird stuff,
    >all carefully selected, with many worthy people carelessly forgotten.
    <snip>
    >John Dacey "The Diary of Samuel Marchbanks," Robertson Davies (see Bacchic ode to chairman of the
    >Liquor Control Board of Ontario) or "Fantastic Fables, Aesop Emendatus, and Old Saws with New
    >Teeth," Ambrose Bierce http://www.gutenberg.net/etext95/fanfb10.txt (pre-Latin literature as it
    >should have been)

    Thank you, Carl, for your thoughtful gifts. I can't help being envious of Andy Muzi though, for
    getting the George MacDonald Fraser works (the "Flashman Papers" being the most important English
    language manuscripts since Beowulf).

    I'm embarrassed to be shopping so late (and it wasn't easy finding a place open on Christmas day),
    but I have something for you, as well: RhymeZone - Rhyming Dictionary and Thesaurus
    http://www.rhymezone.com/ Maybe it'll help you find the poet's grail: a rhyme for 'silver'.

    Since opening your present, I've been rummaging online through the parables from your latter-day
    Æsop (Bierce, link above) and found there the story you quoted here some weeks ago about the man
    cyclopsed by a pickle-fork and reduced to fishing from the end of a pier. For our r.b.t. society,
    one other excerpt seems apropos:

    **************************
    The Man with No Enemies

    AN Inoffensive Person walking in a public place was assaulted by a Stranger with a Club, and
    severely beaten.

    When the Stranger with a Club was brought to trial, the complainant said to the Judge:

    "I do not know why I was assaulted; I have not an enemy in the world."

    "That," said the defendant, "is why I struck him."

    "Let the prisoner be discharged," said the Judge; "a man who has no enemies has no friends. The
    courts are not for such."

    -------------------------------
    John Dacey Business Cycles, Miami, Florida http://www.businesscycles.com Now in our twenty-first
    year. Our catalog of track equipment: eighth year online
    -------------------------------
     
  6. Carl Fogel wrote:
    > Per Elmstrater "The Wrecking Crew," Donald Hamilton (hey, I'm trying--it's set in Sweden, it's
    > been translated)

    Thankyou Carl. It sounds like suitable reading, especially since I did crash twice last season and
    was involved in another crash where we had to call in a wrecking crew. Everybody is OK now but there
    were some collarbones and ribs broken.

    Aah. did an Amazon search and now I see it's a spy thriller with treacherous women in it.
    Sounds awesome.

    --
    Perre

    You have to be smarter than a robot to reply.
     
  7. Simon Brooke

    Simon Brooke Guest

    [email protected] (Carl Fogel) writes:

    > Ah, Christmas, that wonderful time of the year when cheapskate bibliophiles can give the gift of
    > book titles to people who deserve better!
    >
    > So here's a list of trashy thrillers, oddball humor, pompous fiction, and just plain weird stuff,
    > all carefully selected, with many worthy people carelessly forgotten.
    >
    > Recepients may have already read their gifts, but can always re-read the books or ask for their
    > money back.
    >
    > (Fat chance.)
    >
    > Anyone not on the list is welcome to read over everyone else's shoulders. If nothing else, you'll
    > see a few sites for free books and screenplays.
    >
    > "Jim Beam," Jobst Brandt, and Simon Brooke "Three Men on a Bummel," Jerome K. Jerome
    > http://www.gutenberg.net/etext00/tmotb10.txt (early European bicycle tour humor)

    Why, thank you kind sir. I'm familiar with _Three Men in a Boat_; I will give you present a read...
    I actually received, in the literary vein, Iain Banks _Raw Spirit_, and in a cycling vien, a new
    black Campag jersey which I've been proudly wearing all day despite not having been out on my bike.
    My mountain bike, mean while, is sporting new Cane Creek Ergo bar ends, which will make long rides a
    bit easier on the wrists.

    --
    [email protected] (Simon Brooke) http://www.jasmine.org.uk/~simon/

    ;; When your hammer is C++, everything begins to look like a thumb.
     
  8. Rick Onanian

    Rick Onanian Guest

    On 24 Dec 2003 22:16:35 -0800, [email protected] (Carl Fogel)
    wrote:
    >Rick Onanian "The Caine Mutiny," Herman Wouk (it's not what everyone who rolls ball bearings
    >thinks it is)

    Woohoo! I made the list!

    Thanks, Carl. Of course, I misread the title the first time around, and was considering what a book
    called "The Canine Mutiny" would be about; I figured it must be the tale of my girlfriend's dog, who
    insisted on acting weird yesterday.

    I looked it up, and can't imagine what ball bearing rollers might expect it to be, vs. what it is. I
    guess I'll just have to read it!

    Er, I'm more of a ball bearing dropper-and-misplacer.
    --
    Rick Onanian
     
  9. Carl Fogel

    Carl Fogel Guest

    Rick Onanian <[email protected]> wrote in message news:<[email protected]>...
    > On 24 Dec 2003 22:16:35 -0800, [email protected] (Carl Fogel) wrote:
    > >Rick Onanian "The Caine Mutiny," Herman Wouk (it's not what everyone who rolls ball bearings
    > >thinks it is)
    >
    > Woohoo! I made the list!
    >
    > Thanks, Carl. Of course, I misread the title the first time around, and was considering what a
    > book called "The Canine Mutiny" would be about; I figured it must be the tale of my girlfriend's
    > dog, who insisted on acting weird yesterday.
    >
    > I looked it up, and can't imagine what ball bearing rollers might expect it to be, vs. what it is.
    > I guess I'll just have to read it!
    >
    > Er, I'm more of a ball bearing dropper-and-misplacer.

    Dear Rick,

    The ball bearing reference seemed more appropriate to rec.bicycles.tech, but feel free to substitute
    stolen strawberries. Wouk spent a lot of time suckering just about every reader into taking what he
    considered the wrong position--or did he?

    Carl Fogel
     
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