Doberman attacks!

Discussion in 'Australia and New Zealand' started by GPLama, Apr 7, 2005.

  1. GPLama

    GPLama Guest

    Just home from my commute... HR is up a little.. here goes..

    Riding up Kilby Rd about 200m from the Earl St roundabout I see something
    out of the corner of my eye take off in my direction behind the parked
    cars.. it was about 1m tall, dark, and moving fast.. next thing I know
    there is a mother f**c%ing Doberman growling at my left calf.. it was
    watching it go up and down on the crank waiting for a chance to strike...
    WHOLLY JESUS.. I scream bloody death at the thing and it moves to my right..
    swerving all over the road it comes at my right calf... :survival mode now:
    it lunges at my leg, I take a swing and smack it across the nose/jaw with a
    fist... it then turns away and runs off into a yard...

    This all happened in a matter of seconds, very surreal recovery.. I had no
    idea where I was or what I was doing. I stopped in the middle of the road
    watching the house it went into. I rode back in that direction and screamed
    "WHOS F*%@CING DOG IS THIS... FFFUUUU(((((KKKKKKKKKKKKK".... nobody was
    around.. and I departed the scene..

    ok, deep breath.. Cant remember much of the ride home from there.. Having
    never been bitten by a dog, I'm not that worried about them. So next time
    I'll befriend it and happily kill it.. strangulation comes to mind as the
    easiest way.


    GPL
    :heh, I punched a big dog in the head:
     
    Tags:


  2. hippy

    hippy Guest

    GPLama wrote:
    > GPL
    > :heh, I punched a big dog in the head:


    LOL!

    Reminds me of when Ant and I went exploring over the river in Mildura at
    night. This crazy dog starts roaring at us as we go past. No sweat, it's
    behind a fence.. doo dee doo..
    Hang on? There's no f%^king gate!!!! FAAAARK!!!!
    We narrowly escape this crazed mut but have to go back past the house to
    get home. On the way back I sprint early and scream at the dog like all
    hell. Ant hasn't crossed the gate yet.. I think he wasn't please with
    me. hehe I'm such a bastard. We did both made it home alive. :)

    hippy
     
  3. flyingdutch

    flyingdutch New Member

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    Huh? didnt realise you had signed up for Carl's 'special' sprint classes :D

    Im sorry Lama-boy but...

    ROFLMAO :D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

    Best tactic with dog (saying this in hindsight is just going to make you feel so 'happy') is to stop! They either lose interest as there arent any interesting moving/sinning parts anymore.
    Altho perhaps he woulda just got a better purchase on the fleshy part of your calf.

    There is (probably dead now) up in Adelaide Hills (Lobethal way?).
    Big muvva-slobbering Kujo model. would lie asleep on porch of farmhouse.
    You could see it about 300m before you woud along the road past it.
    The crafty bugger would lie asleep, and to totally lull you into a false sense of security would wait until the very last minute or the second after your heartrate had re-entered orbit again in anticipation.
    Kujo would rouse, sniff the air. Now picture a dog the size of Sean Eddie flying down (did i mention the farmhouse was up above the road, making the impending 'Valkyire' attack that much swifter and quick!).
    Dog sprints for the fence. We had learnt previously that Kujo could jump.
    We would set off in a sprint. Its amazing how well you can sprint when you NEED TO (must visualise dog on Sunday :rolleyes: ).

    9 out of 10 times we would somehow get away but twice Kujo got to us.
    The first time we realised we were for it as he got the jump on us, and we stuck together and rode 'AT' him which called his bluff long enough for us to wizz past leaving him to go sleep again. The 2nd time he musta just had a big meal of 'cyclist-nip' cos he flew down, cleared the fence and landed seemingly on all fours straight in front of us! We came to a screeching halt and we stood there eyeballing each other for what seemed like ages. Slowly he dropped his head and just wandered over. By this stage a few of the lads had pumps out. He came over to me and slobbered my hand bigtime. Big sook just wanted a pat and nuzzled up against me and near knocked me off my bike, much to the amusement of the others. From that day we learnt to stop and pat 'Lurch' as he became known.

    Any Adelaidians know where/which dog Im talkin about and if he' still around. If you rode there you will know what Im talkin about
     
  4. cfsmtb

    cfsmtb New Member

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    This may vary from dog to dog! A large rotty chased me down a steep laneway (read: pave) in West Brunswick a couple of years back, the way it was snapping at me wasn't an incentive to stop, put out a hand for it to sniff & make friends. If I'd stopped, it probably would of had me for late dinner, & spat out the bike later.
     
  5. Tamyka Bell

    Tamyka Bell Guest

    On Thu, 7 Apr 2005, GPLama wrote:

    <snip>
    >
    > GPL
    > :heh, I punched a big dog in the head:
    >
    >
    >


    Yesterday when I got home at 10.20 pm I went immediately to throw my apple
    core in my bin in the backyard. On the way I kicked my dog. I thought
    it was my dog because my foot made a big meaty thud as I kicked it. Then I
    realised my dog was inside and I thought maybe I'd kicked a stray cat in
    our yard. As I reached down to pat it and apologise, it hopped past me. It
    was the biggest cane toad I've ever seen, about 20cm long head to bum.

    I sent it to Darwin with the rest of them. Nah, not really, he's flat out
    on the road now. To make this post cycling related, just a warning for
    Brisbane cyclists that there's a flat cane toad on Mapleleaf St.

    Tam
     
  6. HughMann

    HughMann New Member

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    Sorry for laughing, but Bwaaaah

    Better than my effort to escape a persuing greyhound. Tried to kick it in head and ended up with dog firmly attached to foot. Stupid idea to try and beat a greyhound.


    According to Dr. Hugh Worth RSPCA (3LO Sat Mornings ??) thats correct. Stop, dont yell, dont wave arms or kick and the whole thing gets boring. Also says that the water bottle is the best weapon. Dogs hate getting squirted on the face and will stop instantly. Never had the presence of mind to try it.


    That would be a she not a "he". The fems are the biggies. Suppose they need to be to carry around a couple of thousand eggs.

    How come you can make cane toads flat with the bike. When ever I run them over they just hop away a bit dazed.
    We had a very poor wet season in Townsville so not that many toads around.

    Hugh
     
  7. TimC

    TimC Guest

    On Thu, 07 Apr 2005 at 10:47 GMT, GPLama (aka Bruce)
    was almost, but not quite, entirely unlike tea:
    > ok, deep breath.. Cant remember much of the ride home from there.. Having
    > never been bitten by a dog, I'm not that worried about them. So next time
    > I'll befriend it and happily kill it.. strangulation comes to mind as the
    > easiest way.


    I was about 8, and went down my driveway, across the road, and down
    the driveway of my friend across the road. They were on holidays
    apparently, so when I reached the gate, the mean arse dog took issues
    with me, and started running after me. I ran. Now keep in mind, this
    is orange orchard territory, where the average property is 12 acres
    (Wentworth, just over the Murray), and so his driveway was 200m long,
    as was mine. I ran flat out, with the dog about 10m behind me. I
    made it to the road, crossed, looked back, and the dog came to a halt
    just at the edge of their property. Hmmm, well trained dog. Sure got
    me out of there!

    And I will blame this incident on why I don't r_n anymore. I hardly
    enjoyed it!

    --
    TimC -- http://astronomy.swin.edu.au/staff/tconnors/
    A sysadmins description of life:
    Even if the underpowered inter-continental links could take it,
    you'd see a routing nightmare. BGP packets would be flying around
    in circles panicking, and any sane network administrator would lock
    him or herself in a small room and whimper until it was all over.
     
  8. flyingdutch

    flyingdutch New Member

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    are you in the habit of greeting your_own_dog with a foot sandwich ?
    perhaps muttly put the toad there to set you up :D
     
  9. LotteBum

    LotteBum New Member

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    Back in my horseriding days, I used to turn my horse around and chase after the dogs - they run away with their tail between their legs. Soon enough my horse got the hang of it and his fear of dogs turned into quite a hatred and he and started doing it automatically. He even once ran over a dog which had come in from a neighbouring property and was chasing our horses around. Eventually, Jack (my equine) got sick of it, lined a up a good run-up and tore away. The silly dog, not too sure what to do, stayed where it was and Jack ran straight over it. I'll never quite forget that, nor the time when Jack chased a Newfoundland into a fence. Highly amusing.

    Can I just say that I wouldn't kill the dog - kill the owner instead. They're the d!ckheads who's fence obviously isn't adequate. I've had dogs (a dingo x cattledog and a cattle cross to be precise) for years now and not once have they ever escaped, because I am a responsible owner.
     
  10. Shabby

    Shabby New Member

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    Yelling "SIT" usually works. Dogs are usually pretty stupid....

    Disclaimer: seeings everyone else has a dog story, I'll just warn you all that it's futile to try to get away from a blue heeler on a velodrome. They're smart enough to cut through the middle, and can travel faster than you. Hence, yell sit at the dog, and yell a few K words at the owner.
     
  11. flyingdutch

    flyingdutch New Member

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    or better yet, the cat mentality whom would just sit on black line of course with outstretched paw with claws exposed and wait for you to ride into em :D

    closely followed by 'look of total disdain/contempt afterwards as it gives you the 'one-eye-salute'...

    F"moggyrox"Dutch
     
  12. casurina99

    casurina99 New Member

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    OK OK what the F^&K was a blue healer doing in the velodrome??

    And for whats its worth take being chased by a kick off big dog is one of the few ways to dredge up real primal cave man style 'shit im going to die very soon' feelings. One of the few ways left in our world to do this.

    T
    (bemused)
     
  13. Ben Long

    Ben Long Guest

    > I stopped in the middle of the road
    > watching the house it went into. I rode back in that direction and

    screamed
    > "WHOS F*%@CING DOG IS THIS... FFFUUUU(((((KKKKKKKKKKKKK".... nobody was
    > around..


    That's East Kew... nobody lives there but dogs.

    This reminds me of a frightening experience I once had when I lived in
    Melbourne. I was on the Darebin Ck track around Nth Heidelberg (scary
    enough) and I was attempting to ride into a head wind from hell, but making
    no progress. A few hundred meters off I see two small figures running out
    from the end of a street that runs down to the track and think that someone
    is taking their dogs for a walk... no big deal. They were so far off I
    could hardly see them and they were running flat chat, so I assumed someone
    had tossed them a ball or something. However, as I began to roll slowly
    backwards in this wind, they got closer and closer... it seems I was the
    ball they were after! By this stage they were closing, two blue-healers
    with sharp teeth, snarling and drooling and doing their best to head me off
    in the wind. Frankly I shat myself. Each of them went for an ankle and I
    suddenly found myself on a stationary bike pointed into a head wind with my
    feet up near the handle bars... how the hell was I going to get out of this
    one? Perhaps I should have punched them, but I didn't even think of that!!
    I just pedalled like crazy INTO the wind, leaving the dogs and probably a
    bad smell behind me. I literally thought I was going to have a heart
    attack. Never thought of going and finding the owner either... knowing the
    neighbourhood at the time, I may have had my head removed!

    Bean
     
  14. Tamyka Bell

    Tamyka Bell Guest

    flyingdutch wrote:
    >
    > Tamyka Bell Wrote:
    > >
    > > Yesterday when I got home at 10.20 pm I went immediately to throw my
    > > apple
    > > core in my bin in the backyard. On the way I kicked my dog. I thought
    > > it was my dog because my foot made a big meaty thud as I kicked it.
    > > Then I
    > > realised my dog was inside and I thought maybe I'd kicked a stray cat
    > > in
    > > our yard. As I reached down to pat it and apologise, it hopped past me.
    > > It
    > > was the biggest cane toad I've ever seen, about 20cm long head to bum.
    > > Tam

    >
    > are you in the habit of greeting your_own_dog with a foot sandwich ?
    > perhaps muttly put the toad there to set you up :D
    >
    > --
    > flyingdutch


    Nup, never kicked my little poochy before ever. That's why I was
    horrified and immediately went to apologise. Ew, I almost patted a cane
    toad.

    George is not really smart enough to set me up. He's also a bit of a
    scaredy-dog, he runs away from my bike etc.

    Tam
     
  15. "Ben Long" <[email protected]> wrote in message
    news:[email protected]
    >
    > That's East Kew... nobody lives there but dogs.
    >
    > This reminds me of a frightening experience I once had when I lived in
    > Melbourne. I was on the Darebin Ck track around Nth Heidelberg (scary
    > enough)


    <snip scary dog story>

    > I literally thought I was going to have a heart
    > attack. Never thought of going and finding the owner either... knowing

    the
    > neighbourhood at the time, I may have had my head removed!


    Not too dissimilar to experiences I've had on country back-roads (country
    folk are a lot less responsible regarding securely fencing/leashing their
    dogs).

    A couple of the more effective ways to deal with the situation:

    1. Get off the bike, stand still, placing the bike between you and the dog.
    I've rarely had the patience or presence of mind to do this - it seems too
    much like standing still in front of enemy fire.

    2. Yell very loudly "Sit" or "Go home" is surprisingly effective with some
    dogs (those who have had some level of training by their owners I guess)

    3. Before the dog gets too close, stop, get off the bike, pick up a good
    sized rock and throw it in the dog's general direction. My current preferred
    srategy. This is something that I discovered when a little rat-sized mut
    snuck up on my ankle and scared the shit out of me with a sudden barking
    attack. I was so mad I stopped, grabbed a rock and threw it. The immediate
    and sustained flight response of the dog was a marvel to behold. I've since
    used this effectively on a couple of occasions, including one incident with
    two very large, aggressive German Shepherds. Note for Hugh Wirth - no
    animals were harmed in any of these experiments.

    Cheers
    Peter

    ps. Trying to out run a dog is generally pointless. We once had a loping
    labrador follow us out near Warragul. He tagged along happily for a km or
    two up a hill. Concerned he would keep following and get lost, we sprinted
    on the downhill to lose him. He just joined in the race, pacing us quite
    happily at 50kmh.
     
  16. On 2005-04-08, Peter Signorini <[email protected]> wrote:
    > ps. Trying to out run a dog is generally pointless. We once had a loping
    > labrador follow us out near Warragul. He tagged along happily for a km or
    > two up a hill. Concerned he would keep following and get lost, we sprinted
    > on the downhill to lose him. He just joined in the race, pacing us quite
    > happily at 50kmh.


    Heh. My brother-in-law and sister have a Samoyed. Beautiful dog, but if
    she gets off her leash, she's off like a rocket. *No* chance of catching
    her until she's done.

    When my brother-in-law takes her for a run, she's straining at the leash
    -- he's running; she's jogging.

    --
    My Usenet From: address now expires after two weeks. If you email me, and
    the mail bounces, try changing the bit before the "@" to "usenet".
     
  17. DaveB

    DaveB Guest

    Peter Signorini wrote:
    > ps. Trying to out run a dog is generally pointless. We once had a loping
    > labrador follow us out near Warragul. He tagged along happily for a km or
    > two up a hill. Concerned he would keep following and get lost, we sprinted
    > on the downhill to lose him. He just joined in the race, pacing us quite
    > happily at 50kmh.
    >
    >


    My brother had German Sherpherd that we used to time trial in the
    country by getting him to sit on the side of the road and we would take
    off in the car. He was quite capable of hitting 60kmh. Unless I've got a
    good downhill there's no way I can outride that.

    DaveB
     
  18. hippy

    hippy Guest

    Peter Signorini wrote:
    <snip>
    > ps. Trying to out run a dog is generally pointless. We once had a loping
    > labrador follow us out near Warragul. He tagged along happily for a km or
    > two up a hill. Concerned he would keep following and get lost, we sprinted
    > on the downhill to lose him. He just joined in the race, pacing us quite
    > happily at 50kmh.


    Damn you must have some fast dogs!

    I never stop and certainly never get off my bike. If I'm rolling along
    nicely, I've always outrun the dog. If I'm caught by surprise, going
    pretty slow, I give a crazed yell and ready the bike pump, bidon, feet, etc.
    If a dog goes for your ankles and you are pedaling like a nutter to get
    out of there, that dog is gonna get a rude shock when your spd-sl smacks
    it in the jaw.
    Perhaps it's the crazy yelling that makes them think twice about getting
    too friendly with my ankles?

    hippy
     
  19. TimC

    TimC Guest

    On Thu, 07 Apr 2005 at 23:46 GMT, Tamyka Bell (aka Bruce)
    was almost, but not quite, entirely unlike tea:
    > George is not really smart enough to set me up. He's also a bit of a
    > scaredy-dog, he runs away from my bike etc.


    My cats are indoor cats, but occasionally I will let the boy out, and
    might let him stay out while I go down to the shops. Inevitably, when
    I ride back, he will be out the front of the next door neighbours, and
    when I ride into the driveway, he'll come bounding in. Have to be
    careful not to let the idiot run between my wheels.


    --
    TimC -- http://astronomy.swin.edu.au/staff/tconnors/
    "I used to be better at logic problems, before I just dumped
    them all into TeX and let Knuth pick out the survivors."
    -- Plorkwort, 26 September 2004 on alt.religion.kibology
     
  20. TimC

    TimC Guest

    On Fri, 08 Apr 2005 at 00:20 GMT, Stuart Lamble (aka Bruce)
    was almost, but not quite, entirely unlike tea:
    > On 2005-04-08, Peter Signorini <[email protected]> wrote:
    >> ps. Trying to out run a dog is generally pointless. We once had a loping
    >> labrador follow us out near Warragul. He tagged along happily for a km or
    >> two up a hill. Concerned he would keep following and get lost, we sprinted
    >> on the downhill to lose him. He just joined in the race, pacing us quite
    >> happily at 50kmh.

    >
    > Heh. My brother-in-law and sister have a Samoyed. Beautiful dog, but if
    > she gets off her leash, she's off like a rocket. *No* chance of catching
    > her until she's done.


    Yeah? I'd like to see it run 90km/h down the warrandyte hill :)

    --
    TimC -- http://astronomy.swin.edu.au/staff/tconnors/
    The universe was strange after we had beauty and truth replaced
     
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