Dog joke

That took me a second. I had to repeat it like three times in my head. :)
My dad would love that joke. He hates dogs and he jokes about Chinese people eating pets. I just smile and fake laugh. I can't do anything with him. Have you guys had deer, squirrel, or rabbit before?
"Please keep your dog beside you, sir," a woman said crossly to the man sitting opposite to her on the bench at the park. "I can feel a flea in my shoe."
"Midnight, come here," replied the man. "This lady has fleas."
Q: What does my dog and my phone have in common? A: They both have collar I.D.
Why did the poor dog chase his tail?

He was trying to make both ends meet.
A Canadian psychologist is 
selling a video that teaches you how to test your dog’s IQ. Here’s how it works: If you spend $12.99 for the video, your dog 
is smarter than you.
What an amazing, clever dog we have, darling.

He brings in the newspaper every day, and we’ve never even subscribed to any!
Q: Why don’t people put an ad in the paper when their dogs get lost?

A: And how many dogs do you know that actually read newspaper?
Why do men chase after women they don’t intend to marry?
Well why do dogs chase after cars they don’t intend to drive?
Dogs are the best alarm clocks.

When they want out, there’s no snooze button that could tame that.

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