Don't fart!


New Member
Mar 11, 2002
Don't fart. <br /><br />This is a story about a couple that had <br />been happily married for years. The only friction in <br />their marriage was the husband's habit of farting loudly <br />every morning when he awoke. The noise would <br />wake his wife and The smell would make her eyes water <br />and make her gasp for air. <br /><br />Every morning she would plead with him <br />to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick. <br />He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was <br />perfectly natural. She told him to see a doctor; she was <br />concerned that one day he would blow his guts out. <br /><br />The years went by and he continued to <br />rip them out. Then one Thanksgiving morning as she <br />was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs <br />sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where she had put the <br />turkey innards and neck, gizzard, liver and all the <br />spare parts and a malicious thought came to her. <br /><br />She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband <br />was sound asleep and, gently pulling back the bed <br />covers, she pulled back the elastic waistband <br />of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts <br />into his shorts. <br /><br />Some time later she heard her husband <br />waken with his usual trumpeting, which was followed by a <br />blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic <br />footsteps as he ran into the bathroom. The wife <br />could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor <br />laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture <br />she reckoned she had got him back pretty good. <br /><br />About twenty minutes later, her husband <br />came downstairs in his bloodstained underpants <br />with a look of horror on his face. <br /><br />She bit her lip as she asked him what was <br />the matter. He said, &quot;Honey, you were right. All <br />these years you have warned me and I didn't listen to <br />you.&quot; &quot;What do you mean?&quot; asked his wife. &quot;Well, you <br />always told me that one day I would end up farting my <br />guts out, and today it finally happened. But by the <br />grace of God, some Vaseline, and these two fingers, I <br />think I got most of them back in.&quot;<br /> ;D ;D