emotional intelligence and a biking situation

[Torben Scheel]

"Edward Dolan" <[email protected]> wrote in message

> You story reminds me of one I read about in the newspapers several years ago. I think it happened
> in the Seattle area. It was all about kids throwing snowballs at passing cars. One guy stopped,
> got out of his car, pulled a gun and shot one of the kids dead. All for throwing a few snowballs.
> The lesson here is that some people are just plain crazy and so you do not want to be messing
> around with strangers. It is always best (if you are sufficiently ****** off) to call the police
> and let them handle the situation.

??? I agree to some extend (the police would laugh at anybody reporting snpballthrowing..) ???
Torben *puzzled*

 

[Edward Dolan]

"Torben Scheel" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:<[email protected]>...

> "Edward Dolan" <[email protected]> wrote in message
>
> > You story reminds me of one I read about in the newspapers several years ago. I think it
> > happened in the Seattle area. It was all about kids throwing snowballs at passing cars. One guy
> > stopped, got out of his car, pulled a gun and shot one of the kids dead. All for throwing a few
> > snowballs. The lesson here is that some people are just plain crazy and so you do not want to be
> > messing around with strangers. It is always best (if you are sufficiently ****** off) to call
> > the police and let them handle the situation.
>
> ??? I agree to some extend (the police would laugh at anybody reporting snpballthrowing..) ???
> Torben *puzzled*

Torben, it all depends on where you live apparently. I do know that in my small town located here in
SW Minnesota that the police respond to anything and everything. That is the way I like it! If you
can prevent the smaller crimes from occurring then you can prevent a lot of the larger crimes from
occurring. I believe that was the philosophy of Mayor Guiliani in New York City and it worked just
great. If that is not the way it is where you live, then I feel sorry for you.

Ed Dolan - Minnesota

 

[meb]

Originally posted by Dh
Doug, you wrote a fair amount of words ... what exactly would you do in the same situation?

I played that incident through my mind many times ... what if I had had a weapon just to scare the
**** out of those kids, or what if I had had a can of pepper spray and used it to teach those kids a
lesson. After all of those scenarios, the only one that made any real sense was to confront them in
a calm manner and make them see just how childish it really is.

So, what would you do?

Since you don’t know who threw it, you could be pepper spraying some innocent who happened to be standing nearby and doesn’t even know about the throwing.
Not to mention the risks or criminal prosecution risked by trying to scare kids with the weapon.

Could talk to the school, maybe they could preclude the students from standing on the part the school where they are/were harassing cyclists.

Depending on the parent, parental notification might be effective.

If you have a camera you could take a snapshot, that is more apt to scare them the going up to them.

Could bring a civil assault action seeking punitive damages-the innocents are apt to point the finger of blame on the guilty (or more likely the one they like the least under the thug mentality) if it’s costing them money.

 

[Harv]

I should have realized from the good english grammer and spelling that you're not from around these
parts. |=^ ) "DH" <[email protected]> wrote in message news:[email protected]...
>
> "harv" <harv*no_spam*@spininternet.com> wrote in message news:[email protected]...
> > Report an act of terrorism to Ashcroft's office and let the government harass the little punk
> > bastards?
>
> Harv, the 'act' took place in a foreign country. Oh, wait, sorry, that really doesn't make a
> difference with US policy. [Ed Dolon, that's your cue to take this thread and extend it.]

 

[Dh]

> If you have a camera you could take a snapshot, that is more apt to scare them the going up
> to them.

That was one of the thoughts that popped through my head. I should always carry a real cheap digital
camera to capture anything I find remotely interesting. This is slightly related - my daughter once
had a guy follow her after a road rage type incident. She was quite frightened at the time and the
guy kept following her turn for turn.

She finally made it very clear that she was writing his license plate number down and he sped off.

Back to the bike incident - I can well imagine if I would have stopped, reached into my bike bag and
took a photo and then kept biking, it might have made someone think twice about doing it again.

Come to think of it, I'll go back to that school and talk with someone in charge. The Dutch are very
forward thinking in preventing problems before they become problems.

 

[Dh]

Well, actually I'm a US citizen who happens to live in Holland. I only became interested in biking
after moving here. I'll probably never move back.

 

[J.Davis]

I keep reading about how many MM high a bike has to be to be considered "safe".....The answer is: It
does not matter how high you are!

Drivers are not looking for anything but a car or truck, (and often not even these) and not seeing a
car or truck they turn, change lanes, or do any of the other stupid things that injure or kill the
poor piece of meat riding on 30 lbs. of plastic and metal. They did the same thing to me even when I
was on a very large full-dress motorcycle with lights all over it. They run into police cars and
fire trucks with all their emergcy lights flashing. They run into semi-trucks parked off the road.
Do you really think it makes any difference how high your egg-shell of a head is?

If you do not want to get hit by a motor vehicle, do not ride where they are or sooner or latter
you will be.

Have a nice day!

jd

"Dave Larrington" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> What Mikael said. When riding my Speedmachine, my gulliver sticks up slightly above the base of
> the windscreen of the average European tin box, but this is of little import if the driver is
> asleep, as happened the
other
> day.
>
> Three lane one way street. I am in lane one. Mrs. Fat Big Stupid Big Fat Fatty Stupid O'Cretin[1]
> in one of those pointless Toyota RAV-4 things changes lanes into lane 2 and bimbles along at 15
> mph, while indicating a turn into a side street. Not wishing to be splatted or obliged to slow
> down, I switch into lane 2 and begin to pass.
>
> At which juncture Mrs. Fat Big Stupid Big Fat Fatty Stupid O'Cretin, in
one
> fluid movement, flicks indicator stalk to opposite end of spectrum and begins to return to lane
> 2. Just, in fact when my nut and hers are about level. The "THUNK" sound resulting from my my
> swiftly-moving hand coming into contact with the driver's door could be heard three streets away
> and hopefully scared Mrs. Fat Big Stupid Big Fat Fatty Stupid O'Cretin into a fatal heart
> attack. Gagh!
>
> 1 - (c) J. Nash
>
> Dave Larrington - http://www.legslarry.beerdrinkers.co.uk/
> ===========================================================
> Editor - British Human Power Club Newsletter
> http://www.bhpc.org.uk/
> ===========================================================

 

[Mikael Seierup]

"J.Davis" skrev...
> If you do not want to get hit by a motor vehicle, do not ride where they are or sooner or latter
> you will be.

You know the same applies to walking or driving in a car, bus etc. Do you spend your days hiding
under the bed? ;o)

Bicycles are traffic so ride them on the roads where they belong. (Within the limits set down by
your local laws of course. I don't recommend riding on the motorway. ;-) )

M.

 

[Gary Mc]

"DH" <[email protected]> wrote in message news:<[email protected]>...
> I pride myself on having a high emotional IQ; I like to think I'm in control of my emotions. There
> are times, however, I wish I were 6' 4'' and weighed 220 pounds.
>
> Lesson learned ...

I have only in the last few years got my emotional IQ past the one fingered salute phase. Perhaps
being 5' 5" has something to do with increased smarts in this regard.

But, I don't usually react to kids. They will throw a snowball one day and tell you cool bike the
next. It is only once folks get behind the wheel that I become concerned with them.

Gary McCarty, Greenspeed GTO, Salt Lake City

 

[Ian]

Gary Mc scribed with passion and wit:

> "DH" <[email protected]> wrote in message news:<[email protected]>...
>> I pride myself on having a high emotional IQ; I like to think I'm in control of my emotions.
>> There are times, however, I wish I were 6' 4'' and weighed 220 pounds.
>>
>> Lesson learned ...
>
> I have only in the last few years got my emotional IQ past the one fingered salute phase. Perhaps
> being 5' 5" has something to do with increased smarts in this regard.
>
> But, I don't usually react to kids. They will throw a snowball one day and tell you cool bike the
> next. It is only once folks get behind the wheel that I become concerned with them.
>
> Gary McCarty, Greenspeed GTO, Salt Lake City

I'm 6'4" and 210lbs, it makes little difference, there is still no point in getting mad, I tend to
have the attitude that I could turn them into puree but will prove nothing I don't know by doing it,
so why bother? There are few of these types around, if they do something really stupid, then I find
when I stand up, they become very apologetic, but it is insincere. Maybe once a year someone earns a
slap, but they have to go a long way to get me to that point.

--
Ian

The U.S.A., one country divided by a common language.

 

[Bob B Ballz]

OK. I'm 6'4", 265 lbs and an avid powerlifter and cyclist.

Yeah, I can get off my bike and kick 10 high schoolers' asses at once (especially these days with
all the creamy butt video gamer types) but all that'll do is put me in jail. I admit though that I'd
probably feel good sitting in my cell...but I digress...

My commute to work could take me past two high schools if I took the most direct route but I avoid
both because of the bike path congestion (especially since one passes adjacent to school
property--lots of loitering for the smokers, ****s, and losers, etc.) and all the other potential
problems and confrontations that might ensue.

So I add another couple miles on my route and arrive happy and relaxed and not in jail!

Hey, I used to throw snowballs at cars and do all kinds of obnoxius stuff when I was a teen...so I
know not to give them another potential target!

"Emotional intelligence"--ain't that an oxymoron?

 

[Geob]

> They run into police cars and fire trucks with all their emergcy lights flashing. They run into
> semi-trucks parked off the road.

It's a matter of statistics. You can't protect yourself from everybody. Nowadays they recommend you
pull your car off of the road into a driveway, sidestreet or parking lot to chnage a tire or stop
for the Highway patrol to give you your ticket. Something about drunks getting so fixated on your
red lights that they smash into it.

My bro was a trucking company manager/driver. He was stopped by the CHP for something, out in the
country. Parked off of the road. The cruiser was parked off of the road too. CHP was writing a
ticket, an El Camino came whooshing up and smashed into the left rear duallies of the truck. Didn't
scratch the truck.

The CHP just sighed and shook his head.

 

[Tom Sherman]

"J.Davis" wrote:
> ... If you do not want to get hit by a motor vehicle, do not ride where they are or sooner or
> latter you will be....

Mr./Ms.? Davis either demonstrates his/her lack of understanding of basic statistics, or is engaging
in fear mongering.

Tom Sherman - Planet Earth

 

[Tom Sherman]

Edward Dolan wrote:
>
> Torben, it all depends on where you live apparently. I do know that in my small town located here
> in SW Minnesota that the police respond to anything and everything. That is the way I like it! If
> you can prevent the smaller crimes from occurring then you can prevent a lot of the larger crimes
> from occurring. I believe that was the philosophy of Mayor Guiliani in New York City and it worked
> just great....

It worked great for Abner Louima and Amadou Diallo.

Tom Sherman - Planet Earth

 

[Tom Sherman]

harv wrote:
>
> I should have realized from the good english grammer and spelling that you're not from around
> these parts. |=^ )

Harv,

It is "grammar", not "grammer" - so your point is well taken.

Tom Sherman - Planet Earth

 

[Skip]

"Tom Sherman" <[email protected]> wrote in message news:[email protected]...
>
> "J.Davis" wrote:
> > ... If you do not want to get hit by a motor vehicle, do not ride where
they
> > are or sooner or latter you will be....
>
> Mr./Ms.? Davis either demonstrates his/her lack of understanding of basic statistics, or is
> engaging in fear mongering.
>
> Tom Sherman - Planet Earth

Reminds me of my Mom telling me, long ago, that if I rode motorcycles long enough sooner or later I
would get killed on one. She would be pleased to know that I have been "motorcycle free" for the
past eight years and that I have no intention of getting back on one.

Most moms, I have found, are much better at fear mongering than they are at understanding and using
basic statistics to make their points. This is as it should be.

skip OT fear mongering motorcycle trivia: Al Gore rode a motorcycle from his home in Carthage,
Tennessee to Cambridge, Mass. while he was attending Harvard. Al's mom Pauline wasn't particularly
pleased with his little motorcycle adventure and AFAIK Al has been "motorcycle free" since then.

 

[John Riley]

Here is an interesting demonstration in St. Louis:

http://www.stltoday.com/stltoday/news/stories.nsf/News/St.+Louis+City+%2F+County/3111C69FA95A884C86-
256DE1003E0019?OpenDocument&Headline=Roadside+displays+focus+on+plight+of+bicyclists&highlight=2%2C-
cyclist%2Chit%2Chere

 

[Dh]

I sent an e-mail to the administration of the school. Here's what I wrote:

First, thanks for reading this in English. Please forward this message to the administration. I was
involved in an incident last week. I was biking by your school, the school closest to the train
station in Den Bosch. There were a group of students standing next to the bike path and for no
reason someone threw something which landed under my bike and broke on impact. I thought it might
have been ice or possibly glass, but everything happened so quickly, I could not be sure. At any
rate, I immediately got of my bike and confronted the students, asking who threw something at me. No
one answered.

It might not have been wise for me to stop and confront a bunch of students who clearly outnumbered
me and who were physically larger than I, but I was really angry and confronted them without
thinking of the possible consequences (to them or to me).

I do not know of any solution for this situation, but I can well imagine the next biker who has
something thrown at him or his bike might act physically aggressive towards the students. This was a
stupid act from one of your students and could be labeled as senseless violence.

No harm was done this time, but you might want to take a look from time to time to see what happens
when your students leave the building. I should not have to feel unsafe biking in Den Bosch during
the day. Sincerely, Dave Horne

 

[Geob]

> Doug, you wrote a fair amount of words ... what exactly would you do in the same situation?

There were dangers with your approach, that is, confronting the 'kids', as you said. But look at it
another way. A kid throws something under your bike, you don't hesitate, you storm up there
psychologically sending the message that you are confident enough in yourself and your abilities
that it did not MATTER how many of them there were. The fact that you couldn't find out who threw
the stuff doesn't matter, you gained points, they lost, because they didn't have the guts to step
forward and their friends were there to witness it. There are enough tough guys out there, trained
in the various oriental fighting techniques as well as barroom brawling, etc, that a confident
approach can dominate a bigger person who is unsure about your abilities vs his.

> I played that incident through my mind many times ... what if I had had a weapon just to scare the
> **** out of those kids, or what if I had had a can of pepper spray and used it to teach those kids
> a lesson.

Like in horror films, the unknown is far more intimidating that the 'known'. Your approach was
better (in my view) than wielding a known threat. A visible weapon would have tipped the local
public opinion in the perps favor I think, and unified them against you. The kid maybe wouldn't have
lost so much 'face'.

> of those scenarios, the only one that made any real sense was to confront them in a calm manner
> and make them see just how childish it really is.

No! Would NEVER work. They'd just laugh at you. You did fine, though I'd not tempt fate by doing it
again right away.

> So, what would you do?

Probably the same as you.

> The other day some braindead driver almost managed to bean me with her car when she swung right in
> front (and almost on top of me). Only braking and turning with the car saved me. Idiot didn't even
> stop. Since she was heading for a residential area with dead end roads I followed and eventually
> tracked down the car.

I was driving through a shopping center parking lot. I knew I was invisible so I kept turning my
head, watching everything. A lady came down a lane, turned right toward me, and drove to a shop.
Natchurly I *knew* she was going to do that, and took evasive procedures. I followed her to the
shop, calmly waited while she and her daughter disembarked, then accosted her as she approached me
by the door. I politely said, "You didn't look both ways when you made the turn in the parking lot".
I smiled and looked harmless. She stopped for a second.. stuttered a bit as she changed mental gears
and thought about what I said, then said "Oh! I'm sorry!". Her daughter was ragging on her about it
as I left.

 

[Geob]

> Yeah, I can get off my bike and kick 10 high schoolers' asses at once (especially these days with
> all the creamy butt video gamer types) but all that'll do is put me in jail.

I was riding a motorcycle through town one day and a couple little kids.. 5 or 6, were throwing
stuff at me. I stopped, asked them to take me to their home and they did. A babysitter opened the
door and I explained what had happened. Later that night the father called me and cussed me out
good. He told me to call the police next time, not to bother his kids (which really might be good
sense). I said, "Did I touch or your kids?"

"No"

"Did I speak harshly to them?"

"No"

"You've got nice kids, where I come from we call the police for criminals"

"You just leave my kids alone!"

"Bye"