Everbody shut up, I can't hear the voices in my head!

Discussion in 'The Bike Cafe' started by urge2kill, Jun 30, 2014.

  1. urge2kill

    urge2kill Member

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    Everybody shut up! I'm trying to hear the voices in my head!

    I'm sorry, everybody. I know you'll want to run me over even more now, but my persecutory delusion made me do it.

    Maybe I'm exaggerating my symptoms... but that's a symptom of somatization disorder! Oh no!!!

    I'm really, truly sorry for all the fuss though. Truly! I've just been worried that my wife's having an affair because she's so sick and tired of my delusional jealousy.
     
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  2. urge2kill

    urge2kill Member

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    http://www.webmd.com/bipolar-disorder/guide/rapid-cycling-bipolar-disorder

    Rapid cycling bipolar?


    I apologize if anybody here actually has a mental illness. I'm not trying to persecute anyone.
     
  3. jhuskey

    jhuskey Moderator

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    You should probably take up a relaxing hobby like collecting assault weapons and maybe drink a lot more just to calm your nerves. Just start off with beer in the morning and switch over to hard liquor after noon. You should feel better real soon.
     
  4. limerickman

    limerickman Moderator

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    I hope you don't live up to your username, U2Kill.
     
  5. jhuskey

    jhuskey Moderator

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    If you happen to live anywhere near me, please disregard my suggestions.
     
  6. urge2kill

    urge2kill Member

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    My username was intended as irony, but I suppose an assault rifle would go nicely with some tofu and hummus. Interesting idea. [​IMG] Maybe I'll daydream about it later.

    [​IMG]
     
  7. urge2kill

    urge2kill Member

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    and btw, STOP making fun of my persecutory delusions!
     
  8. jhuskey

    jhuskey Moderator

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    I am sorry it's just that I was once delusional and perceived myself as superior, flawless and in general better than everyone else. With many years of self training and therapy I have overcome this mindset and I am now personified perfection.
     
  9. CAMPYBOB

    CAMPYBOB Well-Known Member

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    Paging Volnix! Paging Mr. Greek Volnix! Please pick up the white courtesy phone!
     
  10. Scott2468

    Scott2468 Member

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    I've been waiting with great anticipation for CB's retort. Sadly disappointed.
     
  11. CAMPYBOB

    CAMPYBOB Well-Known Member

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    How could I top JH's advice to the OP to get himself an assault rifle?

    All I could possibly add would be to contact Centerfire Systems and buy 15-20 thirty-round magazines and a case of mil-surp Russian ammunition.

    Four out of five voices agree...the answer is ALWAYS, "Buy an assault rifle!".
     
  12. urge2kill

    urge2kill Member

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    Don't run me over or else I'll shoot you!
     
  13. Volnix

    Volnix Well-Known Member

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    Quote:
    Originally Posted by CAMPYBOB .
    Paging Volnix! Paging Mr. Greek Volnix! Please pick up the white courtesy phone!



    I think U2K has too much free time in his hands... Luckily that can be easily solved! [​IMG]

    How about you join THE ARMY??? [​IMG][​IMG][​IMG]

    This way, you can get an assault rifle -FOR FREE-! [​IMG] and you wont have to hide the full-auto trigger mech in the garage!

    Voices in your head? No problem! Just tell them everytime they ask you that you're feeeeelin fiiiine... [​IMG]

    After a few months there even the voices in your head will go insane! [​IMG]

    ... and start the heavy drinking aaafter the army. Drink your self silly whilst chatting with your buddies about the life in the army!


    That would be a "document" which "ordered" me to go to the psychiatrist for "evaluation" after discussing a suicide eeeehmm meant, "accident in the service" of a "collegue".


    [​IMG]
     
  14. urge2kill

    urge2kill Member

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    I'm not a grandiose narcissist! That's what you are! Shut up!


    I don't want to join the army. All I want is a condescending woman with initiative who isn't afraid to hit me. [​IMG]
     
  15. Volnix

    Volnix Well-Known Member

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    But how can you say that when you are already enrolled! [​IMG]

    Now were these fatigues and report to the entrance of the building for some reaaally meaningful stuff! [​IMG]
     
  16. jhuskey

    jhuskey Moderator

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    You can't tell me to shut up, thats my wife's job.
     
  17. urge2kill

    urge2kill Member

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    Dammit Obama! I didn't register to vote for you so that you could draft me! First the drones, now this! Curses!
     
  18. Volnix

    Volnix Well-Known Member

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    Volunteeers!

    U2K, are you causing trouble again? [​IMG]


    [​IMG]
     
  19. urge2kill

    urge2kill Member

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    Quote: U2K, are you causing trouble again? [​IMG]



    The flying baguetti monster told me to do it!
     
  20. Volnix

    Volnix Well-Known Member

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    Originally Posted by urge2kill .

    The flying baguetti monster told me to do it!



    Report! [​IMG]


    [​IMG]Quote:
     
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