Everbody shut up, I can't hear the voices in my head!

[urge2kill]

Everybody shut up! I'm trying to hear the voices in my head!

I'm sorry, everybody. I know you'll want to run me over even more now, but my persecutory delusion made me do it.

Maybe I'm exaggerating my symptoms... but that's a symptom of somatization disorder! Oh no!!!

I'm really, truly sorry for all the fuss though. Truly! I've just been worried that my wife's having an affair because she's so sick and tired of my delusional jealousy.

 

[urge2kill]

http://www.webmd.com/bipolar-disorder/guide/rapid-cycling-bipolar-disorder

Rapid cycling bipolar?


I apologize if anybody here actually has a mental illness. I'm not trying to persecute anyone.

 

[jhuskey]

You should probably take up a relaxing hobby like collecting assault weapons and maybe drink a lot more just to calm your nerves. Just start off with beer in the morning and switch over to hard liquor after noon. You should feel better real soon.

 

[limerickman]

Originally Posted by urge2kill
Everybody shut up! I'm trying to hear the voices in my head!

I'm sorry, everybody. I know you'll want to run me over even more now, but my persecutory delusion made me do it.

Maybe I'm exaggerating my symptoms... but that's a symptom of somatization disorder! Oh no!!!

I'm really, truly sorry for all the fuss though. Truly! I've just been worried that my wife's having an affair because she's so sick and tired of my delusional jealousy.

I hope you don't live up to your username, U2Kill.

 

[jhuskey]

If you happen to live anywhere near me, please disregard my suggestions.

 

[urge2kill]

Originally Posted by jhuskey
You should probably take up a relaxing hobby like collecting assault weapons and maybe drink a lot more just to calm your nerves. Just start off with beer in the morning and switch over to hard liquor after noon. You should feel better real soon.

My username was intended as irony, but I suppose an assault rifle would go nicely with some tofu and hummus. Interesting idea.

Maybe I'll daydream about it later.

 

[urge2kill]

and btw, STOP making fun of my persecutory delusions!

 

[jhuskey]

I am sorry it's just that I was once delusional and perceived myself as superior, flawless and in general better than everyone else. With many years of self training and therapy I have overcome this mindset and I am now personified perfection.

 

[CAMPYBOB]

Paging Volnix! Paging Mr. Greek Volnix! Please pick up the white courtesy phone!

 

[Scott2468]

Paging Volnix! Paging Mr. Greek Volnix! Please pick up the white courtesy phone!

I've been waiting with great anticipation for CB's retort. Sadly disappointed.

 

[CAMPYBOB]

How could I top JH's advice to the OP to get himself an assault rifle?

All I could possibly add would be to contact Centerfire Systems and buy 15-20 thirty-round magazines and a case of mil-surp Russian ammunition.

Four out of five voices agree...the answer is ALWAYS, "Buy an assault rifle!".

 

[urge2kill]

Originally Posted by CAMPYBOB
How could I top JH's advice to the OP to get himself an assault rifle?

All I could possibly add would be to contact Centerfire Systems and buy 15-20 thirty-round magazines and a case of mil-surp Russian ammunition.

Four out of five voices agree...the answer is ALWAYS, "Buy an assault rifle!".

Don't run me over or else I'll shoot you!

 

[Volnix]

Quote:
Originally Posted by CAMPYBOB .
Paging Volnix! Paging Mr. Greek Volnix! Please pick up the white courtesy phone!



I think U2K has too much free time in his hands... Luckily that can be easily solved!

How about you join THE ARMY???

This way, you can get an assault rifle -FOR FREE-!

and you wont have to hide the full-auto trigger mech in the garage!

Voices in your head? No problem! Just tell them everytime they ask you that you're feeeeelin fiiiine...

After a few months there even the voices in your head will go insane!

... and start the heavy drinking aaafter the army. Drink your self silly whilst chatting with your buddies about the life in the army!


That would be a "document" which "ordered" me to go to the psychiatrist for "evaluation" after discussing a suicide eeeehmm meant, "accident in the service" of a "collegue".

 

[urge2kill]

Originally Posted by jhuskey
I am sorry it's just that I was once delusional and perceived myself as superior, flawless and in general better than everyone else. With many years of self training and therapy I have overcome this mindset and I am now personified perfection.

I'm not a grandiose narcissist! That's what you are! Shut up!

Originally Posted by Volnix


I think U2K has too much free time in his hands... Luckily that can be easily solved!

How about you join THE ARMY???

This way, you can get an assault rifle -FOR FREE-!

and you wont have to hide the full-auto trigger mech in the garage!

Voices in your head? No problem! Just tell them everytime they ask you that you're feeeeelin fiiiine...

After a few months there even the voices in your head will go insane!

... and start the heavy drinking aaafter the army. Drink your self silly whilst chatting with your buddies about the life in the army!


That would be a "document" which "ordered" me to go to the psychiatrist for "evaluation" after discussing a suicide eeeehmm meant, "accident in the service" of a "collegue".

I don't want to join the army. All I want is a condescending woman with initiative who isn't afraid to hit me.

 

[Volnix]

Originally Posted by urge2kill
I don't want to join the army. All I want is a condescending woman with initiative who isn't afraid to hit me.

But how can you say that when you are already enrolled!

Now were these fatigues and report to the entrance of the building for some reaaally meaningful stuff!

 

[jhuskey]

I'm not a grandiose narcissist!  That's what you are!  Shut up! I don't want to join the army.  All I want is a condescending woman with initiative who isn't afraid to hit me.   :crying:

You can't tell me to shut up, thats my wife's job.

 

[urge2kill]

Originally Posted by Volnix


But how can you say that when you are already enrolled!

Now were these fatigues and report to the entrance of the building for some reaaally meaningful stuff!

Dammit Obama! I didn't register to vote for you so that you could draft me! First the drones, now this! Curses!

 

[Volnix]

Originally Posted by urge2kill


Dammit Obama! I didn't register to vote for you so that you could draft me! First the drones, now this! Curses!

Volunteeers!

U2K, are you causing trouble again?

 

[urge2kill]

Quote: U2K, are you causing trouble again?

The flying baguetti monster told me to do it!

 

[Volnix]

Originally Posted by urge2kill .

The flying baguetti monster told me to do it!



Report!

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