Excuses for being dropped

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by mikesbytes, Sep 27, 2006.

  1. Jakelamotta

    Jakelamotta New Member

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    I had a date last night and it ended well.
     


  2. Bicycleman

    Bicycleman Well-Known Member

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    I had to wait at the stop sign, because traffic was coming.
     
  3. Bicycleman

    Bicycleman Well-Known Member

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    The rest of the pack pretended to stop at the stop sign. They all faked it and then took off while I put my foot down. Then I couldn't get clipped back in fast enough.
     
  4. Bicycleman

    Bicycleman Well-Known Member

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    Some old guy got in my way, and I couldn't get around him.
     
  5. Bicycleman

    Bicycleman Well-Known Member

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    My wife insisted on having sex before the race.
     
    oportosanto likes this.
  6. Weatherby

    Weatherby Well-Known Member

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    On a 3 mile climb the boyz (on a B club ride) were just hammering and knowing my limits, I looked down and saw 380 watts so, I dialed it back to a more sustainable 280 watts. The rider leader came back down after me and asked what the problem was? What happened. My response? I'm old, fat, and have limited power. I told them to go ahead. It was just a short little 85 mile ride and since we were in the hills, this pattern was going to repeat over and over again. Why ruin their ride.
     
  7. Weatherby

    Weatherby Well-Known Member

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    this can diminish the sprint. Eddy B said to do it afterwards
     
  8. jhuskey

    jhuskey Moderator

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    I hope the old guy , your wife's request and the race are not in the same scenario. Of course it might make a great lead in to the chapter of a mystery novel. A kinky novel but interesting non the less different.
     
  9. Bicycleman

    Bicycleman Well-Known Member

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    I never was a good sprinter. I was a better time trialer so Eddy B wouldn't have complained if it were a time trial.
     
  10. Bicycleman

    Bicycleman Well-Known Member

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    That sounds like it really happened.
     
  11. Weatherby

    Weatherby Well-Known Member

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    It did. The ride was a B ride with 15-17 mph average advertised.

    They were climbing a 5% section at 15-16 mph and I was struggling at 14-15 mph, so, I backed off to around 11-12 mph (280 watts). I did the 85 mile ride in just over 5 hours and i suspect they were only 10 minutes ahead of me. My excuse was true. Now, I am fitter now and know they would get dropped by me on a longer ride because frankly, I am bonk-proof.
     
  12. Bicycleman

    Bicycleman Well-Known Member

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    Anyone, who can do a 1200k is virtually bonk proof and a cycling god.
     
  13. Zhen25

    Zhen25 Member

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    I took a drink of water while riding and by the time I looked in front of me they were all gone
     
  14. oportosanto

    oportosanto Well-Known Member

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    Saw a beautiful lake and needed to stop for a swim. While there met a couple of mermaids and got distracted.

    :D
     
  15. Weatherby

    Weatherby Well-Known Member

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    I am thinking of my excuse for tomorrow. I shall be dropped. I'm going on the local racing team's training ride into the hills. They are "only" Cat 2 and 3 but I am old.

    My excuses....

    1. I just needed a little pain.
    2. My coach told me to keep it under Z5
    3. I had the winter wheels on
    4. I'm old
    5. I am still in the base training period
     
  16. oportosanto

    oportosanto Well-Known Member

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    I think that the best excuse is that you are old, people are always sympathetic with that. :D
     
  17. Bicycleman

    Bicycleman Well-Known Member

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    Not where I live. Those young whipper snappers knock themselves out to pass the old guy, who is hold them up. Then again, it's a good thing when I drop somebody young, and they cry to their friends that some old man blew them away on the road.
     
  18. mooray

    mooray New Member

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    I just got a call from my girlfriend telling me that she horny.
     
  19. Bicycleman

    Bicycleman Well-Known Member

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    I remember that scene from Full Metal Jacket.

    " Me so hawny."
     
  20. Bicycleman

    Bicycleman Well-Known Member

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    I was in the wrong gear, but when am I ever in the right gear?
     
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