Excuses for being dropped

I had a date last night and it ended well.

 

I had to wait at the stop sign, because traffic was coming.

 

The rest of the pack pretended to stop at the stop sign. They all faked it and then took off while I put my foot down. Then I couldn't get clipped back in fast enough.

 

Some old guy got in my way, and I couldn't get around him.

 

My wife insisted on having sex before the race.

 

On a 3 mile climb the boyz (on a B club ride) were just hammering and knowing my limits, I looked down and saw 380 watts so, I dialed it back to a more sustainable 280 watts. The rider leader came back down after me and asked what the problem was? What happened. My response? I'm old, fat, and have limited power. I told them to go ahead. It was just a short little 85 mile ride and since we were in the hills, this pattern was going to repeat over and over again. Why ruin their ride.

 

this can diminish the sprint. Eddy B said to do it afterwards

 

I hope the old guy , your wife's request and the race are not in the same scenario. Of course it might make a great lead in to the chapter of a mystery novel. A kinky novel but interesting non the less different.

 

I never was a good sprinter. I was a better time trialer so Eddy B wouldn't have complained if it were a time trial.

 

That sounds like it really happened.

 

It did. The ride was a B ride with 15-17 mph average advertised.

They were climbing a 5% section at 15-16 mph and I was struggling at 14-15 mph, so, I backed off to around 11-12 mph (280 watts). I did the 85 mile ride in just over 5 hours and i suspect they were only 10 minutes ahead of me. My excuse was true. Now, I am fitter now and know they would get dropped by me on a longer ride because frankly, I am bonk-proof.

 

Anyone, who can do a 1200k is virtually bonk proof and a cycling god.

 

I took a drink of water while riding and by the time I looked in front of me they were all gone

 

Saw a beautiful lake and needed to stop for a swim. While there met a couple of mermaids and got distracted.

 

I am thinking of my excuse for tomorrow. I shall be dropped. I'm going on the local racing team's training ride into the hills. They are "only" Cat 2 and 3 but I am old.

My excuses....

1. I just needed a little pain.
2. My coach told me to keep it under Z5
3. I had the winter wheels on
4. I'm old
5. I am still in the base training period

 

I think that the best excuse is that you are old, people are always sympathetic with that.

 

Not where I live. Those young whipper snappers knock themselves out to pass the old guy, who is hold them up. Then again, it's a good thing when I drop somebody young, and they cry to their friends that some old man blew them away on the road.

 

I just got a call from my girlfriend telling me that she horny.

 

I remember that scene from Full Metal Jacket.

" Me so hawny."

 

I was in the wrong gear, but when am I ever in the right gear?