From RBR newsletter



K

Ken M

Guest
I just thought I would share. I thought a few of these were kind of funny.
*****
6. Scott's Spin: Ho Ho Ho o^o o^o o^o o^o o^o o^o



I’ll be starting my Christmas shopping any day now, just as soon as I’ve
finished making my list and checking it twice. Here’s what I have so
far, including naughty and nice:



For Lance Armstrong: A rocking chair. And a Simpsons DVD containing the
episode in which Groundskeeper Willie calls the French “cheese-eatin’
surrender monkeys.”



For motorists: You know that “Peace on Earth, good will to men” stuff?
Could you extend it to the other 364 days of the year? And it wouldn’t
kill you -- or me -- if you hung up that cell phone.



For George W. Bush: A nice cycling jersey. News photos of you cycling
in that baggy white T-shirt make me want to start humming “Hail to the
Dweeb.”



For George Hincapie: A yellow jersey. Note: Not available until July.
Preferably end of July.



For bike shops: A decent profit margin. As long as you don’t treat us
like morons if we don’t know the modulus of elasticity in that carbon
fiber dust cap.



For Roberto Heras: A set of golf clubs. Enjoy your two-year vacation, dude.



For George W. Bush (hey, the prez gets more than one gift): Better
bike-handling skills. Love that you ride. Hate that you show up at
summit meetings with crash rash on your forehead.



For road maintenance crews everywhere: Contact lenses. See that
pothole? No, I guess you can’t. Well, my bike’s down at the bottom
somewhere. Could you maybe fill this crater one of these weeks?



For OLN-TV: NASCAR-like ratings for your Tour de France coverage. Maybe
then you’ll put the Giro and Vuelta back on the air.



For Jan Ullrich: Sorry, you already got your present last summer. (See:
Lance, rocking chair.)



For RBR readers (Northern Hemisphere Division): An early spring!



(Scott Martin wrote feature articles for Bicycling magazine for 12 years
*******

Ken
--
On the internet, nobody knows you're a jerk - unless you act like a jerk
on the internet too. - Quote modified by Ken M.

Homepage: http://kcm-home.tripod.com/
 
V

Veloise

Guest
Ken M wrote:
> I just thought I would share. I thought a few of these were kind of funny....


> For OLN-TV: NASCAR-like ratings for your Tour de France coverage. Maybe
> then you'll put the Giro and Vuelta back on the air. ...


Speaking of NASCRAP, guess what themed holiday ornaments are available
this year. Cars, guys, and jerseys. There was a whole section of The
Dead Guy, too (guess his heirs sold the rights to every car he ever
drove).

Now WTF can't we have TdF ornaments? Little yellow jerseys? Little
bikes? You'd think the Lanceband marketers might realize that they'd
sell one or two action figures. (Everyone reading this NG would get one
as a gift, after buying one for their own self.) I noticed just about
every NASCRAP integer presented as an ornament. I want a 7.

/rant

--Karen D.
Shopco (in Wisc) has little red metal bikes with working parts