K
Ken M
Guest
I just thought I would share. I thought a few of these were kind of funny.
*****
6. Scott's Spin: Ho Ho Ho o^o o^o o^o o^o o^o o^o
I’ll be starting my Christmas shopping any day now, just as soon as I’ve
finished making my list and checking it twice. Here’s what I have so
far, including naughty and nice:
For Lance Armstrong: A rocking chair. And a Simpsons DVD containing the
episode in which Groundskeeper Willie calls the French “cheese-eatin’
surrender monkeys.”
For motorists: You know that “Peace on Earth, good will to men” stuff?
Could you extend it to the other 364 days of the year? And it wouldn’t
kill you -- or me -- if you hung up that cell phone.
For George W. Bush: A nice cycling jersey. News photos of you cycling
in that baggy white T-shirt make me want to start humming “Hail to the
Dweeb.”
For George Hincapie: A yellow jersey. Note: Not available until July.
Preferably end of July.
For bike shops: A decent profit margin. As long as you don’t treat us
like morons if we don’t know the modulus of elasticity in that carbon
fiber dust cap.
For Roberto Heras: A set of golf clubs. Enjoy your two-year vacation, dude.
For George W. Bush (hey, the prez gets more than one gift): Better
bike-handling skills. Love that you ride. Hate that you show up at
summit meetings with crash rash on your forehead.
For road maintenance crews everywhere: Contact lenses. See that
pothole? No, I guess you can’t. Well, my bike’s down at the bottom
somewhere. Could you maybe fill this crater one of these weeks?
For OLN-TV: NASCAR-like ratings for your Tour de France coverage. Maybe
then you’ll put the Giro and Vuelta back on the air.
For Jan Ullrich: Sorry, you already got your present last summer. (See:
Lance, rocking chair.)
For RBR readers (Northern Hemisphere Division): An early spring!
(Scott Martin wrote feature articles for Bicycling magazine for 12 years
*******
Ken
--
On the internet, nobody knows you're a jerk - unless you act like a jerk
on the internet too. - Quote modified by Ken M.
Homepage: http://kcm-home.tripod.com/
*****
6. Scott's Spin: Ho Ho Ho o^o o^o o^o o^o o^o o^o
I’ll be starting my Christmas shopping any day now, just as soon as I’ve
finished making my list and checking it twice. Here’s what I have so
far, including naughty and nice:
For Lance Armstrong: A rocking chair. And a Simpsons DVD containing the
episode in which Groundskeeper Willie calls the French “cheese-eatin’
surrender monkeys.”
For motorists: You know that “Peace on Earth, good will to men” stuff?
Could you extend it to the other 364 days of the year? And it wouldn’t
kill you -- or me -- if you hung up that cell phone.
For George W. Bush: A nice cycling jersey. News photos of you cycling
in that baggy white T-shirt make me want to start humming “Hail to the
Dweeb.”
For George Hincapie: A yellow jersey. Note: Not available until July.
Preferably end of July.
For bike shops: A decent profit margin. As long as you don’t treat us
like morons if we don’t know the modulus of elasticity in that carbon
fiber dust cap.
For Roberto Heras: A set of golf clubs. Enjoy your two-year vacation, dude.
For George W. Bush (hey, the prez gets more than one gift): Better
bike-handling skills. Love that you ride. Hate that you show up at
summit meetings with crash rash on your forehead.
For road maintenance crews everywhere: Contact lenses. See that
pothole? No, I guess you can’t. Well, my bike’s down at the bottom
somewhere. Could you maybe fill this crater one of these weeks?
For OLN-TV: NASCAR-like ratings for your Tour de France coverage. Maybe
then you’ll put the Giro and Vuelta back on the air.
For Jan Ullrich: Sorry, you already got your present last summer. (See:
Lance, rocking chair.)
For RBR readers (Northern Hemisphere Division): An early spring!
(Scott Martin wrote feature articles for Bicycling magazine for 12 years
*******
Ken
--
On the internet, nobody knows you're a jerk - unless you act like a jerk
on the internet too. - Quote modified by Ken M.
Homepage: http://kcm-home.tripod.com/