Funny definitions



swalia

Active Member
Jan 27, 2016
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Let's share some funny and humorous definitions. Here's one:

Dating is collecting information about someone until you realize you don't like them.
 

swalia

Active Member
Jan 27, 2016
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How about a funny quote?

"Borrow from one, plagiarism. Borrow from many, research!"
-Tom Lehrer
 

mooray

Member
Aug 5, 2015
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'A child can play with the mother's breasts but not the father's testicles' -Yoweri Museveni.
 

swalia

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Love is a wildly misunderstood although highly desirable malfunction of the heart which weakens the brain, causes eyes to sparkle, cheeks to glow, blood pressure to rise and the lips to pucker. - Anonymous
 

swalia

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A wedding is just like a funeral except that you get to smell your own flowers.
 

Gnufrau

Well-Known Member
Nov 21, 2015
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Ummm. . .
Life is a sexually transmitted disease with a 100% mortality rate.

(checks calendar: . . . Yup, that explains that! )
 

swalia

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Jan 27, 2016
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Retirement is the time in your life when time is no longer money.
 

swalia

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MARRIAGE is a process much like a cafeteria - you carefully look over the choices, select what looks the best - and pay later.
 

swalia

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Garlic
Vegetable which is excellent for avoiding cold germs. Eat enough of it and people with colds will stay far away from you. Of course, so will other people.
 

cycle93

Active Member
Oct 10, 2015
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I have one!

It is not a definition more like a word-joke, but was reminded of it from your one-liners.
What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a large-breasted crab? - One's a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean.
 

swalia

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Jan 27, 2016
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Doctor n. A person who kills your ills with pills then kills you with bills.
 

swalia

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Jan 27, 2016
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YAWN: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
 

swalia

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Jan 27, 2016
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Do u know the meaning of WIFE?? It means-“Without Information Fighting Everytime”.
 

cycle93

Active Member
Oct 10, 2015
145
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Doctor n. A person who kills your ills with pills then kills you with bills.

This is one of the bests. I like one liners or playing with words that are similar too each other and saying them also out loud can be really funny too.
 

swalia

Active Member
Jan 27, 2016
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Bar-be-que
(bar•buh•Q) n. You bought the groceries, washed the lettuce, chopped the tomatoes, diced the onions, marinated the meat and cleaned everything up—for the dinner he made for his friends."