Funny definitions



What's the definition of lawyer?
The larval form of a politician.
 
advertising: The art of convincing people to spend money they don't have for something they don't need. (Will Rogers)
 
experience: The ability to repeat one's mistakes with ever-increasing confidence. (Patrick Hoyte)
 
Politician n.Someone who shakes your hand befor an election and your confidence after it.
 
password: Series of letters and numbers written on a post-it note and stuck on a monitor.
 
Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock.
Will Rogers
 
Politics: “Poli” a Latin word meaning “many”; and "tics" meaning “bloodsucking creatures”.
-
Robin Williams
 
life insurance: term (coined by the greatest marketer of all time) for a plan that keeps you poor all your life so you can die rich
 
Stalking: When two people enjoy long romantic walks together, but just one of them is aware of this fact.
 
I can’t believe I forgot to go to the gym today. That’s 7 years in a row now.
 
Stalking: When two people enjoy long romantic walks together, but just one of them is aware of this fact.
 
A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don’t need it.
-
Bob Hope