Funny Metaphors from Student Essays

Discussion in 'The Bike Cafe' started by Persistence, Dec 11, 2002.

  1. Persistence

    Persistence New Member

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    Metaphors from Student Essays<br /><br />1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two other<br />sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.<br /><br />2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances<br />like underpants in a tumble dryer.<br /><br />3. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a<br />bowling ball wouldn't.<br /><br />4. McMurphy fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a paper bag<br />filled with vegetable soup.<br /><br />5. Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze.<br /><br />6. Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the<br />centre<br /><br />7. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.<br /><br />8. He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.<br /><br />9. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when<br />you fry them in hot grease.<br /><br />10. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across<br />the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left York at 6:36 p.m. travelling at 55 mph, the other from<br />Peterborough at 4:19p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.<br /><br />11. The politician was gone but unnoticed, like the full stop after<br />the Dr. on a Dr Pepper can.<br /><br />12. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who<br />had also never met.<br /><br />13. The thunder was ominous sounding, much like the sound of a thin<br />sheet of metal being shaken backstage during the storm scene in a<br />play.<br /><br />14. The red brick wall was the colour of a brick-red crayon.<br /><br />15. Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap,<br />only one that had been left out so long it had rusted shut.<br /><br />16. Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.<br /><br />17. The plan was simple, like my mate Phil. But unlike Phil, this<br />plan just might work.<br /><br />18. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not<br />eating for while.<br /><br />19. &quot;Oh, Jason, take me!&quot; she panted, her breasts heaving like a<br />student on 31p-a-pint night.<br /><br />20. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck either,<br />but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a<br />land mine or something.<br /><br />21. Her artistic sense was exquisitely refined, like someone who can<br />tell butter from &quot;I Can't Believe It's Not Butter.&quot;<br /><br />22. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog<br />makes just before it throws up.<br /><br />23. The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender<br />leg behind her, like a dog at a lamppost.<br /><br />24. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated<br />because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a<br />surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free cashpoint.<br /><br />25. The dandelion swayed in the gentle breeze like an oscillating<br />electric fan set on medium.<br /><br />26. It was a working class tradition, like fathers chasing kids<br />around with their power tools.<br /><br />27. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard<br />bells, as if she were a dustcart reversing.<br /><br />28. She was as easy as the Daily Star crossword.<br /><br />29. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was<br />room-temperature British beef.<br /><br />30. She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.<br /><br />31. Her voice had that tense, grating quality, like a<br />first-generation thermal paper fax machine that needed a band tightened.<br /><br />32. It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple<br />it to the wall.<br /><br />And, yes...I realize these aren't all really metaphors. Some of them are similies. For you pedantic english experts out there. ;)<br /><br />Cracks me up!
     
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  2. Vo2

    Vo2 Member

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    All these metaphors confuse me like vomit in a tumble dryer. ;D
     
  3. Old Timer

    Old Timer New Member

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    Who says the English aren't romantic?! ;D
     
  4. Jelle

    Jelle New Member

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    how does it comes that when i was reading about dr. pepper, i felt a bad taste in my mounth???? ;D
     
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