Right, so I was supposed to ride with Abby and Retrograded this morning. That didn't happen because I slept like sh!t. When I woke up at 5:10 I couldn't open my eyes... So I went back to sleep. That didn't work, so I got
up at 5:30 and rode to work anyway, but only the direct way.
That was all well and good until I had to pass two trucks that were pulled over to the side of the road on the Centenary Highway. Eventually, after about 5 zillion cars has passed, a nice lady slowed down to let me pass. I blew her a kiss, then about 6 or 7 cars beeped at me because I'd slowed them down. HANG ON F*CKERS! WHO SLOWED YOU DOWN??? THE F*CKING TRUCKS!
About 1km later I had to merge across traffic coming up to a red light.
I saw a decent gap, stuck my hand out and started moving across. The
w@nker in the Hilux (GET IN OR GET OUT OF THE WAY!) used neither of his
three brain cells and decided to move forward in a threatening manner.
I flicked him the bird and when he passed me on the left, I told him he
must be hung like a donkey and when he gave me the finger I said "What's
the matter possum? Wifey leave you for another woman?" and took off...
By then, my light was green (I was turning right) and I tore through the
light. I probably didn't do myself any favours, but f*ck it... I do not
care anymore. It was only a couple of K's later when coming up to a
roundabout I looked back and saw that there was a car, but it was a long
way back (at least 200m). So I moved into the middle of the lane but
stopped at the roundabout because there were cars coming. When the path
was clear, I started going through the roundabout.... With slacknuts on
my tail beeping. I blew him a kiss and mouthed at him "F*ck you!" as he
passed me. That caused a bit of a stir and he swerved the car all over
the road in front of me. Ooooh. Scary.
Managed to get through the next roundabout - which is quite a big one -
without too many hassles. A t0sser in an old sh!tty V8 who turned left
behind me decided to do a big skid with which I was really impressed.
Don't forget, boys... Women luv d00ds who lay big sk!ds. The next
roundabout, however, was a different story all together. Again, I
merged into the middle of the lane way ahead of another car. Got
halfway through the rounadbout, and the geri f*cker in his white Excel
is trying to f*cking overtake me in the roundabout. He beeped at me...
A lot. I flicked him the bird which sent his car swerving all over the
road just like the previous motherf*cker. I motioned for him to pull
over, at the same time screaming "PULL OVER!!!!". He slowed down, then
sped up... Again, I pointed to the kerb and screamed "PULL OVER!!!". So
he does. As there were cars around, I rode up and sat behind his car,
screaming at him "GET OUT OF THE CAR!!!". He sat in the car yelling out
at me with his large false teeth clacking away like Cadence (my dog) does when you have food for her. Again, I screamed at him "GET OUT OF THE F*CKING CAR. BE A BIG MAN MOTHERF*CKER!!!". Then he drove off, swerving his little excel violently all over the road. Big man.
Further up the road, at the intersection of Oxley and Sherwood Roads, I
came up to the lights on my own - no cars around... In other words, the
lane is MINE and I SIT IN FRONT (otherwise, I sit behind the cars at an appropriate distance from the kerb). I sit about 1m out to discourage people to come up next to me and instead use the other lane. This is too difficult for most people to comprehend. So I get a line of about 8 cars behind me. One
of them was able to at least change lanes to get around me. The rest sat behind me, then a few of them beeped at me as they went around me after all the traffic in the right hand lane had passed.
Got to Graceville where the road was closed due to a significant car accident. Unfortunately, Mr White Excel had not crashed into a pole and
killed himself. There were too cars involved and neither was a white Excel. I hope the people are OK. I also hope that the person responsible opens their f*cking eyes next time.
So there you go. I'm ANGRY today.
Lotte
P.S. I demanded another f*cker pull over at Toowong as well. He was in
a black merc and tried to get between me and a car turning right. He
got scared and drove off. It's good to see that Aussie men are just as
'tuff mate' as they think they are. F*cking pussies.
P.P.S. Don't f*ck with me today.
P.P.S. For those of you wondering what exactly I would do if Mr White Excel got out of the car, I would have thrown a quick punch followed by a quick elbow. I so do not care anymore.
P.P.P.S. I've lost the plot.
up at 5:30 and rode to work anyway, but only the direct way.
That was all well and good until I had to pass two trucks that were pulled over to the side of the road on the Centenary Highway. Eventually, after about 5 zillion cars has passed, a nice lady slowed down to let me pass. I blew her a kiss, then about 6 or 7 cars beeped at me because I'd slowed them down. HANG ON F*CKERS! WHO SLOWED YOU DOWN??? THE F*CKING TRUCKS!
About 1km later I had to merge across traffic coming up to a red light.
I saw a decent gap, stuck my hand out and started moving across. The
w@nker in the Hilux (GET IN OR GET OUT OF THE WAY!) used neither of his
three brain cells and decided to move forward in a threatening manner.
I flicked him the bird and when he passed me on the left, I told him he
must be hung like a donkey and when he gave me the finger I said "What's
the matter possum? Wifey leave you for another woman?" and took off...
By then, my light was green (I was turning right) and I tore through the
light. I probably didn't do myself any favours, but f*ck it... I do not
care anymore. It was only a couple of K's later when coming up to a
roundabout I looked back and saw that there was a car, but it was a long
way back (at least 200m). So I moved into the middle of the lane but
stopped at the roundabout because there were cars coming. When the path
was clear, I started going through the roundabout.... With slacknuts on
my tail beeping. I blew him a kiss and mouthed at him "F*ck you!" as he
passed me. That caused a bit of a stir and he swerved the car all over
the road in front of me. Ooooh. Scary.
Managed to get through the next roundabout - which is quite a big one -
without too many hassles. A t0sser in an old sh!tty V8 who turned left
behind me decided to do a big skid with which I was really impressed.
Don't forget, boys... Women luv d00ds who lay big sk!ds. The next
roundabout, however, was a different story all together. Again, I
merged into the middle of the lane way ahead of another car. Got
halfway through the rounadbout, and the geri f*cker in his white Excel
is trying to f*cking overtake me in the roundabout. He beeped at me...
A lot. I flicked him the bird which sent his car swerving all over the
road just like the previous motherf*cker. I motioned for him to pull
over, at the same time screaming "PULL OVER!!!!". He slowed down, then
sped up... Again, I pointed to the kerb and screamed "PULL OVER!!!". So
he does. As there were cars around, I rode up and sat behind his car,
screaming at him "GET OUT OF THE CAR!!!". He sat in the car yelling out
at me with his large false teeth clacking away like Cadence (my dog) does when you have food for her. Again, I screamed at him "GET OUT OF THE F*CKING CAR. BE A BIG MAN MOTHERF*CKER!!!". Then he drove off, swerving his little excel violently all over the road. Big man.
Further up the road, at the intersection of Oxley and Sherwood Roads, I
came up to the lights on my own - no cars around... In other words, the
lane is MINE and I SIT IN FRONT (otherwise, I sit behind the cars at an appropriate distance from the kerb). I sit about 1m out to discourage people to come up next to me and instead use the other lane. This is too difficult for most people to comprehend. So I get a line of about 8 cars behind me. One
of them was able to at least change lanes to get around me. The rest sat behind me, then a few of them beeped at me as they went around me after all the traffic in the right hand lane had passed.
Got to Graceville where the road was closed due to a significant car accident. Unfortunately, Mr White Excel had not crashed into a pole and
killed himself. There were too cars involved and neither was a white Excel. I hope the people are OK. I also hope that the person responsible opens their f*cking eyes next time.
So there you go. I'm ANGRY today.
Lotte
P.S. I demanded another f*cker pull over at Toowong as well. He was in
a black merc and tried to get between me and a car turning right. He
got scared and drove off. It's good to see that Aussie men are just as
'tuff mate' as they think they are. F*cking pussies.
P.P.S. Don't f*ck with me today.
P.P.S. For those of you wondering what exactly I would do if Mr White Excel got out of the car, I would have thrown a quick punch followed by a quick elbow. I so do not care anymore.
P.P.P.S. I've lost the plot.
