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George Carlin on Aging

Started by DOC69 · · Last activity · 1 post · 2,972 views

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12 October 2004
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  1. [font=Comic Sans MS]Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions. [/font]

    [font=Comic Sans MS]"How old are you?" "I'm four and a half!" You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five! [/font]

    [font=Comic Sans MS]That's the key. [/font]

    [font=Comic Sans MS]You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead. [/font]

    [font=Comic Sans MS]"How old are you?" "I'm gonna be 16!" You could be 13, but hey, you're gonna be 16! And then the greatest day of your life…you become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony. YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!! [/font]

    [font=Comic Sans MS]But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk. He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?[/font]

    [font=Comic Sans MS]You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40. [/font]

    [font=Comic Sans MS]Whoa! Put on the brakes, it's all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH 50…and your dreams are gone. [/font]

    [font=Comic Sans MS]But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you would! [/font]

    [font=Comic Sans MS]So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60. [/font]

    [font=Comic Sans MS]You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday! [/font]

    [font=Comic Sans MS]You get into your 80s and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30; you REACH bedtime. [/font]

    [font=Comic Sans MS]And it doesn't end there. Into the 90s, you start going backwards; "I was JUST 92." [/font]

    [font=Comic Sans MS]Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again. "I'm 100 and a half!" [/font]

    [font=Comic Sans MS]May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!![/font]

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