Get back with G/F or stay on the bike??? Help.

Discussion in 'The Bike Cafe' started by WINGNUTT, Aug 9, 2004.

  1. WINGNUTT

    WINGNUTT New Member

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    OK, here's the sitch. My g/f broke up with me a few weeks ago because she needed "find out who she is" and because I "wasn't communicating with her" and blah blah blah. I was REALLY bummed out for a while because this chick is pretty cool and we've been together for 2.5 years. In fact, I would go so far as to say that I could see myself spending the rest of my life with her, but am not yet ready to make the mistake of marriage like some of my friends. Since the breakup, I've gone from riding around 50 miles per week to around 150 because I have so much extra time. I can do 3000 ft. climbs no problem and feel more healthy than ever. I love having the extra time, but it sucks not having this chick to hang out with.

    So, here's the question... we've been talking since the breakup and communicating a lot better than before. I figure I can fix the relationship with some flowers now and then, and a few more heart to heart talks and blah blah blah - I wasn't good with the mushy stuff, but whatever, guys have to put forth some effort cuz those stupid little things mean a lot to girls, and I'm ready to do that. She's coming over tomorrow after work and wants to talk about the future, possibly getting back together. So gimme some advice, I want to hear from the voice of experience as to what's more important: riding a lot and playing the dating game w/ no serious relationship, or riding moderately w/ a chick you care about.
     
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  2. gclark8

    gclark8 New Member

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    Just keep riding, you are bound to meet a nice fit and healthy girl on the other side of the hill.... Who knows, soon you may both be doing 200 miles a week, together.

    No one needs a boat anchor.....
     
  3. nonewdirections

    nonewdirections New Member

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    no offense to you at all but you don't sound serious enough about relationships regardless of the cycling. just get out there and cycle and don't worry about having a girl in your life since it sounds like you'd need to be more serious about this particular girl than you're willing to honestly be. if you think they are "stupid little things" maybe you should just not be with a girl who demands that kind of commitment.
     
  4. WINGNUTT

    WINGNUTT New Member

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    Valid points... thanks for the input. Don't want a boat anchor and could do without the mushy lovey dovey crap. Not sure about a chick that does 200 miles a week though... she might be able to kick my ass, which is one good thing about this particular chick - I could easily kick her ass if things got really ugly (talking self defense only).
     
  5. kenright

    kenright New Member

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    How about getting a tandem; and enjoy both at the same time.

    You'd be able to put in the time with her and put in the miles as well.

    Just an idea.
     
  6. gooders

    gooders New Member

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    go for the best of both worlds...find a chick that digs cycling ! and cruise the mountain passes together
     
  7. Jene

    Jene New Member

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    lol........female view now!! go with the bike.....get the miles in......you dont sound as tho you liked (loved) her that much......esp by option 3 in the poll (soooo typical) and ye...u might jus find her at the top of the hill......im doin bout 150 a week!! lol.....but i got lad m8s who do the heart to heart stuff gr8......n if you dont do it.....then your always gonna be complainin..or she will, get out on ya bike....then come find me!!! lol






    (jk btw.....i so need a 'sarcastic' smiley :p )
     
  8. sp00k

    sp00k New Member

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    show her your post/poll and then let her decide......you will be back on the bike in no time
     
  9. gdiza

    gdiza New Member

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    my gf also gets agro when she comes over weekends and i go cycle.
    she moans that she comes to be with me and i go run off with my bicycle.
    i think she is jealous, but she needs to understand that i got something i like to do.
    she smokes and i dont like that so its all about "compromise"

    so in my case, i told her, u either live with it or u go... shes currently living with it as i am with her and her smoking.

    i do sometimes wish ihad a gf who was into cycling too. would be so kewl.
     
  10. bjhkmf

    bjhkmf New Member

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    Here's another female perspective--not ALL women need all "that mushy stuff." Some of us are perfectly content to be in a relationship where we know we are cared about without a lot--or any--of the candy, flowers, and stuffed teddy bear crap.

    Keep riding. If the relationship is meant to be, it'll work out in spite of everything. You shouldn't have to sacrifice riding time.

    I don't. ;)
     
  11. SWEETRIDE4ME

    SWEETRIDE4ME New Member

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    I agree if it is ment to be it will happen. Just keep riding and find yourself a girl that likes what you do and you have fun with, that's truly the one you want to spend the rest of your life with, but deffinetly try and sleep with her one more time.;)
     
  12. graf zeppelin

    graf zeppelin New Member

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    Keep talking with her and also keep riding. Just see what happens. She initiated the finding more about herself move, so let her do that, imho. If you're each doing what you wish/need, then whatever happens is for the best.

    And yeah, to echo others, meeting a woman that also is a cyclist would be great. Thing is, whenever I climb over a hill all I tend usually to see is another hill. :rolleyes:
     
  13. alorlious

    alorlious New Member

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    Girlfriendese: because she needed "find out who she is"

    Plain English: She wants (or already is) to sleep with someone else

    Does she have a cute friend? If so, date her.
     
  14. tpat3

    tpat3 New Member

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    Precisely.
     
  15. izzodesh

    izzodesh New Member

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    i have been in a similar situation...and my gf just had to adjust to the cycling..
    my advice would be to make phone dates with her and set times to talk..
    and every now and then go see a movie or make dinna together...
    cycling is awesome and its great you are riding 200 miles...but there is a way to get the best of both worlds
     
  16. WINGNUTT

    WINGNUTT New Member

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    One thing I forgot to mention is that she LOVES to cycle, which is great. Only problem is that she's not that fast, and is more into cruising down the bike path than going full on road biking or mtn biking. Anyway, it doesn't matter that much that she's slow on a bike - at least she gets out there. Tandem would be a good idea, cept I already have 4 bikes in my apartment and my roommate would start throwing bikes out the window if I got more. Also, she loves to do all the other stuff I like to do with my spare time - wakeboarding, snowboarding, jet skiing, etc. We have a lot in common, which is what makes it a lot more difficult.

    Anyway, I think I'm just gonna take things easy for a while and see what happens like Graf & SweetRide said. Not try to get back together nor tell her to get lost, just talk to her, be cool with her, and see how things go. She never got mad at me riding the bike, she just always came over in the evenings - I'm sure I can have both time on the bike and the g/f if I wanted... just got to let her know that I'm thinking about the long haul with her, and I don't if I'm ready for that just yet.

    Oh, and I will definitely be trying to sleep with her, but I would not do this if I was then going to tell her to get lost. I do actually care about this chick.
     
  17. mattv2099

    mattv2099 New Member

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    So get rid of this dumb broad and get a new one... God damn. Stop complaining and do something. Am I the only man alive who is extremely happy with being single???
     
  18. JohnO

    JohnO New Member

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    Painful question to ask yourself - do you want her back because she's wonderful, or do you want her back because she ditched you and you don't like the thought of any girl chucking you out? Keep in mind that if she's just been gone a few weeks, you're feeling particularly lonely.

    I can think of more than one occasion in the past when I wished I had answered that question honestly. Would have saved myself a lot of grief later.
     
  19. Jene

    Jene New Member

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    hehehe....true
     
  20. Puddin

    Puddin New Member

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    What she said, but go ahead with the meeting and hit it one last time- like a porn star. :eek:
     
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