Get back with G/F or stay on the bike??? Help.



JohnO said:
Painful question to ask yourself - do you want her back because she's wonderful, or do you want her back because she ditched you and you don't like the thought of any girl chucking you out? Keep in mind that if she's just been gone a few weeks, you're feeling particularly lonely.

I can think of more than one occasion in the past when I wished I had answered that question honestly. Would have saved myself a lot of grief later.
I wrestled with that for a while, but I concluded that I really do think she's "wonderful" because I was totally happy before all this happened. Plus, it's been several weeks and the loneliness is pretty much gone - I could start over without major grief... I really just think that she'll be a tough one to replace.

Jene, for reasons too complicated to go into, I am 100% positive that this is not true. I wasn't positive of this a few weeks ago, but because of our conversations over the past several weeks, and because she can't fart without me hearing about it through our network of friends, there is no way she is banging or trying to bang some other dude. I'd bet dollars to donuts on this.
 
Puddin said:
What she said, but go ahead with the meeting and hit it one last time- like a **** star. :eek:
Let's make one thing perfectly clear... I will be hitting it, so we can put that one to rest.
 
WINGNUTT said:
I wrestled with that for a while, but I concluded that I really do think she's "wonderful" because I was totally happy before all this happened. Plus, it's been several weeks and the loneliness is pretty much gone - I could start over without major grief... I really just think that she'll be a tough one to replace.

Jene, for reasons too complicated to go into, I am 100% positive that this is not true. I wasn't positive of this a few weeks ago, but because of our conversations over the past several weeks, and because she can't fart without me hearing about it through our network of friends, there is no way she is banging or trying to bang some other dude. I'd bet dollars to donuts on this.

If you do patch things up, you might try a tandem. My wife fussed about me riding, but it turns out she just didn't like getting left out of things. I got her a bike, but either I went too fast, or she went too slow. Not fun. So I splurged even more and bought a used Cannondale tandem. That did the trick - she loves it, and for sure she isn't getting left behind. We cruise at around 20mph on the tandem, which is about as good as I can do solo.
 
bjhkmf said:
Here's another female perspective--not ALL women need all "that mushy stuff." Some of us are perfectly content to be in a relationship where we know we are cared about without a lot--or any--of the candy, flowers, and stuffed teddy bear ****.

Keep riding. If the relationship is meant to be, it'll work out in spite of everything. You shouldn't have to sacrifice riding time.

I don't. ;)
I love you! Can we get together? Let's go for a ride along the canal.
 
Here's my two cents worth... If she had to find herself than she just wants out. Let her go find herself but don't stay and wait for her. When they have to go "find" themselfs the ain't worth the griff. Ride your bike, get in the miles and who knows maybe there will be someone on the other side of the second hill. You can't change your self for some else, you are who you are. If you try to change for her you'll never be happy. Cycling = Happiness. Trust me on this one.
 
try to sleep with her. afterwards, dump her... plain and simple as what the poll says! :D
 
WINGNUTT said:
Anyway, I think I'm just gonna take things easy for a while and see what happens like Graf & SweetRide said. Not try to get back together nor tell her to get lost, just talk to her, be cool with her, and see how things go. She never got mad at me riding the bike, she just always came over in the evenings - I'm sure I can have both time on the bike and the g/f if I wanted... just got to let her know that I'm thinking about the long haul with her, and I don't if I'm ready for that just yet.
That is probably the best approach.
 
Sounds like your whupped!!!

Go find another girl to date. Even the threat of you dating someone else is good enough. If's she's OK with that, write her off and move on. :)
 
well My first responce is why ask here your the only one who knows if your in love with her, not us
if your not sure then you probably arent
if you can get along with out her then you probably arent

and as the the marriage thing some of us have good ones
I been married for almost 22 years

if it's right you will know it and so will she
Romance isnt hard
and most guys dont get it cause they dont try at all
bike riding can be romantic done together
getting flowers should be something you want to do, not have to do

as for some of the comments I seen on here they are very childish,
in my opintion
Women ( most that is ) want to be treated like a woman
and not like an other guy
and they are defently not "just" to take to bed or Hit it as you say
a relationship has to be able to stand by it's self
Sex is a byproduct of that,
ok I will quit preaching now :)
 
alorlious said:
Girlfriendese: because she needed "find out who she is"

Plain English: She wants (or already is) to sleep with someone else

Does she have a cute friend? If so, date her.
Yes, that phrase definitely sends up a red flag. I'd be cautious about how serious you get with her. Sounds tentative at best. Sorry.
 
Cowboyathlete said:
That is probably the best approach.
Well, this is the approach I took, and everything seemed to work out well. Just gonna keep on takin it easy and work on communicating with her better than I did in the past. One thing I have learned is that very small problems turn into big ones if you don't talk about them. Sometimes you don't even know what the problem is until you really start talking to each other about the others' feelings. I know for many of us, it really sucks starting these talks, but this type of communication is essential for a relationship to work.

Good info TechJD, thanks. I think getting flowers and stuff like that is something that we should do, and I am happy to do if it makes the woman happy, but I would never WANT to do it, because it is unreasonable for girls to like/want flowers from us because all flowers do is die. When we buy them flowers, we encourage this irrational behaviour. But, the woman does not think this way, so we just do these types of things because it makes them happy. Even though it is stupid, if it makes them happy, we should do it because we want to make them happy.

Also, Tech, whether or not I love her is not the real question. Love can be irrational and cause you to make dumb decisions - for example, you could love someone who you logically know you could never spend the rest of your life with (nothing in common, history of fights/problems, etc.). I know that I love this chick, but the question is, would it be stupid to continue the relationship in light of the recent events. I know I'm not going to get an answer from a cycling forum, but at least it has forced me to think about it more with different viewpoints and has been mildly entertaining in the process.
 
Let us know how things work out. And good luck your senior year, that last year of High School can be tough.
 
That line "I want to find myself" really means I dont want to be mean and dump ur ass but I want some strange.

Just ride man
;)
 
My new G/F has read this topic, boy, has she lifted her game, and on the bike too... :rolleyes:
 
I agree with the previous poster that if she 'wants to find herself', then this means she is definitely sleeping with somebody else. There is no other reason. In fact, you should seriously investigate this possibility, like hire a detective or something. Don't ever ignore a statement like that from a woman. It means trouble with a capital C for 'Cheating on you every other night'.
 
I already know why this whole thing happened and that's because of lack of commitment on my part - not cheating, just not promising anything for the future. I'm not going to make any false promises now, so whatever happens is fine - I bet she goes nowhere, but I could be wrong. If she cheats on me, I'll just sleep with her friends. Like concord said, better now than when married.
 
Don't get her flowers...get her a new road bike. What chick wouldn't want a new bike over flowers? Better yet, get her a road bike with flowers mounted on the frame.

On a more serious note, tell her that you are going to keep riding the same amount of miles, you really like her and want to get back together, and that you like her enough to do what it takes to be able to keep up your miles AND your relationship. That would be the most difficult thing, to find out how to keep up the miles AND the relationship, but tell her you like her enough to attempt that feat.
 
I am almost 52 years of age here is what I have learned about women.
Keep the chain oiled and clean
Inflate tire before riding
Always wear a helmet No wait thats bikes. I still don't know **** about women except you can't win.
If she wants to find herself hire a PI
If she doesn't know who she is get her an ID badge
If you buy her a new bike arrange for custody in case of a breakup.
If you get a new girl find one that is fast and you can draft off of and tell your friends she is actually slow it will make you look better.

Can't live with em.
Can't push em out of a moving vehicle.
 
Whoa! You're a senior in high school? What is your rush to be tied to just one other person? I know you don't feel like it, but you're just a kid fer chrissakes. You can work on "relationship skills" when you get older. At your age you should be exposing yourself to as many different kinds of experience and as many different kinds of people as you can. You think you know what you want but believe me, you're going to change your mind at least 10 times over the next 5 years.

If she wants to go, send her off with a smile and move on. Life is a lot longer than you think, and there's plenty of time to get yourself emotionally entangled with others. Don't get into the games people use to try to trap each other into a relationship when she no longer wants to be in it. If she goes it doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you. It just means she has changed her mind, just like you're going to do later.

I went through the same sort of **** when I was in high school and believe me, I regret it. What was I thinking? What are YOU thinking?

Let me guess- you think you want a relationship with her, but at your age, with your hormones churning and burning, what you really want (but don't realize) is a relationship with about 5% of her anatomy. You can believe me when I tell you women are ALL about the same in that respect.

Go take a cold shower and move on.

TD