Guilty pleasure?

Discussion in 'Mountain Bikes' started by Penny S, Oct 27, 2003.

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  1. Penny S

    Penny S Guest

    I had not one but two invites to ride today. I sort of said yes to the first one, not knowing that
    the second one was coming. This would be with someone I don't really know, who specifically said
    she wanted to take it easy as she was tired of "chasing the guys". Then invitation #2 was in my
    inbox this morning, the transplants from Syracuse wanted to hit the same location, but they wanted
    me to show them some of "my" routes. There's only 75 miles of trails out there. I said yes and then
    told #1 that it wasn't going to work as I wanted to show these other folks around but she was
    welcome to join us.

    I feel a little guilty for bailing but not too much. I was taking care of myself ;-) getting out for
    the kind of ride I needed today, with folks who's ability I know was the level I needed to ride at.
    I was not in the mood to be patient or kind or mosey along with someone who I've observed has "lazy
    butt FS syndrome". OK, so maybe I don't feel so guilty... So we rode fun, fast and hard with minimum
    stoppage, got back to the trailhead with just enough daylight to spare...

    Penny
     
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  2. Paladin

    Paladin Guest

    Penny S wrote:

    > I had not one but two invites to ride today. I sort of said yes to the first one, not knowing that
    > the second one was coming. This would be with someone I don't really know, who specifically said
    > she wanted to take it easy as she was tired of "chasing the guys". Then invitation #2 was in my
    > inbox this morning, the transplants from Syracuse wanted to hit the same location, but they wanted
    > me to show them some of "my" routes. There's only 75 miles of trails out there. I said yes and
    > then told #1 that it wasn't going to work as I wanted to show these other folks around but she was
    > welcome to join us.
    >
    > I feel a little guilty for bailing but not too much. I was taking care of myself ;-) getting out
    > for the kind of ride I needed today, with folks who's ability I know was the level I needed to
    > ride at. I was not in the mood to be patient or kind or mosey along with someone who I've observed
    > has "lazy butt FS syndrome". OK, so maybe I don't feel so guilty... So we rode fun, fast and hard
    > with minimum stoppage, got back to the trailhead with just enough daylight to spare...
    >
    > Penny
    >
    Youch! you're just a meanie, (hehehe) but I know what you mean, and probably know how you
    feel, after

    leading so many beginner/intermediate group rides this summer, I'm just hammering solo or with the
    A-Teamers now. I've temporarily run out of patience and just want to rock-n-roll.

    Paladin
     
  3. On Tue, 28 Oct 2003 at 03:20 GMT, Penny S penned:
    >
    > I feel a little guilty for bailing but not too much. I was taking care of myself ;-) getting out
    > for the kind of ride I needed today, with folks who's ability I know was the level I needed to
    > ride at. I was not in the mood to be patient or kind or mosey along with someone who I've observed
    > has "lazy butt FS syndrome". OK, so maybe I don't feel so guilty... So we rode fun, fast and hard
    > with minimum stoppage, got back to the trailhead with just enough daylight to spare...
    >

    If you weren't in the mood to be patient or kind or mosey, it's probably best for both of you that
    you bailed.

    Of course, she may not see it that way ...

    You better hope she doesn't read this ng =)

    --
    monique Unless you need to share ultra-sensitive super-spy stuff with me, please don't email me
    directly. I will most likely see your post before I read your mail, anyway.
     
  4. Kathleen

    Kathleen Guest

    Penny S wrote:
    > I had not one but two invites to ride today. I sort of said yes to the first one, not knowing that
    > the second one was coming. This would be with someone I don't really know, who specifically said
    > she wanted to take it easy as she was tired of "chasing the guys". Then invitation #2 was in my
    > inbox this morning, the transplants from Syracuse wanted to hit the same location, but they wanted
    > me to show them some of "my" routes. There's only 75 miles of trails out there. I said yes and
    > then told #1 that it wasn't going to work as I wanted to show these other folks around but she was
    > welcome to join us.
    >
    > I feel a little guilty for bailing but not too much. I was taking care of myself ;-) getting out
    > for the kind of ride I needed today, with folks who's ability I know was the level I needed to
    > ride at. I was not in the mood to be patient or kind or mosey along with someone who I've observed
    > has "lazy butt FS syndrome". OK, so maybe I don't feel so guilty... So we rode fun, fast and hard
    > with minimum stoppage, got back to the trailhead with just enough daylight to spare...

    Well, at least you realize that there's something to feel guilty about here. Maybe you ought to
    re-phrase your acceptance when somebody invites you to ride with them, just so they know where they
    stand. "Yeah, I'll ride with you... Unless something better comes up."

    If it'd been me, I'd have told the second group that I already had a commitment and invited them to
    ride along with me and Inviter #1. Although if you weren't in the mood to be "patient or kind" you
    probably did her a favor.

    Kathleen
     
  5. Dave W

    Dave W Guest

    > I had not one but two invites to ride today. I sort of said yes to the first one, not knowing that
    > the second one was coming. This would be with someone I don't really know, who specifically said
    > she wanted to take it easy as she was tired of "chasing the guys". Then invitation #2 was in my
    > inbox this morning, the transplants from Syracuse wanted to hit the same location, but they wanted
    > me to show them some of "my" routes. There's only 75 miles of trails out there. I said yes and
    > then told #1 that it wasn't going to work as I wanted to show these other folks around but she was
    > welcome to join us.
    >
    > I feel a little guilty for bailing but not too much. I was taking care of myself ;-) getting out
    > for the kind of ride I needed today, with folks who's ability I know was the level I needed to
    > ride at. I was not in the mood to be patient or kind or mosey along with someone who I've observed
    > has "lazy butt FS syndrome". OK, so maybe I don't feel so guilty... So we rode fun, fast and hard
    > with minimum stoppage, got back to the trailhead with just enough daylight to spare...
    >
    > Penny

    uh, oh! sounds a bit snobbish to me...considering you agreed (half heartedly or not) to ride w/ the
    first girl. You said she wanted to ride the same place as #2. Well did you see her, or her viehicle
    at the trailhead? Your snubbing may have caused her to bail on the whole thing...but thats not your
    problem is it? I mean sounds like she needed a little of your motivation and you shot her down...not
    very motherly of you. How often does that happen?

    But, if she wanted to ride, she'd ride with or without you...:)

    Basically she wasn't good enough to ride with you and invite #2... so she didn't get to...

    Dave (it's a sad day ;-(
     
  6. "Penny S" <[email protected]> wrote in message news:[email protected]...
    > I had not one but two invites to ride today. I sort of said yes to the first one, not knowing that
    > the second one was coming. This would be with someone I don't really know, who specifically said
    > she wanted to take it easy as she was tired of "chasing the guys". Then invitation #2 was in my
    > inbox this morning, the transplants from Syracuse wanted to hit the same location, but they wanted
    > me to show them some of "my" routes. There's
    only
    > 75 miles of trails out there. I said yes and then told #1 that it wasn't going to work as I wanted
    > to show these other folks around but she was welcome to join us.
    >
    > I feel a little guilty for bailing but not too much. I was taking care of myself ;-) getting out
    > for the kind of ride I needed today, with folks who's ability I know was the level I needed to
    > ride at. I was not in the mood to be patient or kind or mosey along with someone who I've observed
    has
    > "lazy butt FS syndrome". OK, so maybe I don't feel so guilty... So we
    rode
    > fun, fast and hard with minimum stoppage, got back to the trailhead with just enough daylight to
    > spare...
    >
    > Penny
    >

    I guess I see this differently having been on the other side (and still not up to par with some
    riders). It seems a bit rude. This is someone who is coming into the sport/hobby and shouldn't be
    shoved off like yesterday's news. Maybe you could have still gone with her and told her that if she
    was serious about learning the ropes there were efforts she would have to make. At least that way
    you could gauge the laziness.

    That being said, if I were her, I would have still tagged along and tried my best. Maybe it would
    have made you feel more guilty.

    Also, if you were not guilty about ditching her, you would not have posted the story. Deep down you
    feel a little remorse about what you did.
     
  7. Penny S

    Penny S Guest

    Sir Ride-A-Lot spray painted on a boxcar:
    > "Penny S" <[email protected]> wrote in message
    > news:[email protected]...
    >> I had not one but two invites to ride today. I sort of said yes to the first one, not knowing
    >> that the second one was coming. This would be with someone I don't really know, who specifically
    >> said she wanted to take it easy as she was tired of "chasing the guys". Then invitation #2 was in
    >> my inbox this morning, the transplants from Syracuse wanted to hit the same location, but they
    >> wanted me to show them some of "my" routes. There's only 75 miles of trails out there. I said yes
    >> and then told #1 that it wasn't going to work as I wanted to show these other folks around but
    >> she was welcome to join us.
    >>
    >> I feel a little guilty for bailing but not too much. I was taking care of myself ;-) getting out
    >> for the kind of ride I needed today, with folks who's ability I know was the level I needed to
    >> ride at. I was not in the mood to be patient or kind or mosey along with someone who I've
    >> observed has "lazy butt FS syndrome". OK, so maybe I don't feel so guilty... So we rode fun, fast
    >> and hard with minimum stoppage, got back to the trailhead with just enough daylight to spare...
    >>
    >> Penny
    >>
    >
    > I guess I see this differently having been on the other side (and still not up to par with some
    > riders). It seems a bit rude. This is someone who is coming into the sport/hobby and shouldn't be
    > shoved off like yesterday's news. Maybe you could have still gone with her and told her that if
    > she was serious about learning the ropes there were efforts she would have to make. At least that
    > way you could gauge the laziness.
    >
    > That being said, if I were her, I would have still tagged along and tried my best. Maybe it would
    > have made you feel more guilty.
    >
    > Also, if you were not guilty about ditching her, you would not have posted the story. Deep down
    > you feel a little remorse about what you
    > did.

    I never said it wasn't rude. Some of it is expectations, with my "regular" riding pals, one
    routinely bags for whatever reasons ( I really need to get a run in today, I have a marathon coming
    up, etc) and I don't take it personally, I just go anyway if I feel like it. Sure, I could have
    handled it better, but I have no regrets for the choice I made.

    If you'd read more of my posts, you'd know that I spend an awful lot of time taking new (mostly)
    women riders out, being the good shepherd, trail guide and spotter.

    Penny S
     
  8. Shawn Curry

    Shawn Curry Guest

    Penny S wrote:

    > I had not one but two invites to ride today. I sort of said yes to the first one, not knowing that
    > the second one was coming. This would be with someone I don't really know, who specifically said
    > she wanted to take it easy as she was tired of "chasing the guys". Then invitation #2 was in my
    > inbox this morning, the transplants from Syracuse wanted to hit the same location, but they wanted
    > me to show them some of "my" routes. There's only 75 miles of trails out there. I said yes and
    > then told #1 that it wasn't going to work as I wanted to show these other folks around but she was
    > welcome to join us.
    >
    > I feel a little guilty for bailing but not too much. I was taking care of myself ;-) getting out
    > for the kind of ride I needed today, with folks who's ability I know was the level I needed to
    > ride at. I was not in the mood to be patient or kind or mosey along with someone who I've observed
    > has "lazy butt FS syndrome". OK, so maybe I don't feel so guilty... So we rode fun, fast and hard
    > with minimum stoppage, got back to the trailhead with just enough daylight to spare...
    >
    > Penny
    >
    >
    Sounds like all concerned were better off with your decision. Enjoy the guilt and invite #1 for a
    ride some time when you're patience is up, maybe the day after a real rip of a ride. If she can't
    handle the rejection, TS.

    Cheers, Shawn
     
  9. Penny S

    Penny S Guest

    Kathleen spray painted on a boxcar:
    >
    >
    > Well, at least you realize that there's something to feel guilty about here. Maybe you ought to
    > re-phrase your acceptance when somebody invites you to ride with them, just so they know where
    > they stand. "Yeah, I'll ride with you... Unless something better comes up."
    >
    > If it'd been me, I'd have told the second group that I already had a commitment and invited them
    > to ride along with me and Inviter #1. Although if you weren't in the mood to be "patient or kind"
    > you probably did her a favor.
    >
    > Kathleen

    I did handle it poorly, and I apologized to her, that was needed.

    Better to not put myself in that position at all, though. ( next time)

    Penny S
     
  10. "Penny S" <[email protected]> wrote in message news:[email protected]...
    > Sir Ride-A-Lot spray painted on a boxcar:
    > > "Penny S" <[email protected]> wrote in message
    > > news:[email protected]...
    > >> I had not one but two invites to ride today. I sort of said yes to the first one, not knowing
    > >> that the second one was coming. This would be with someone I don't really know, who
    > >> specifically said she wanted to take it easy as she was tired of "chasing the guys". Then
    > >> invitation #2 was in my inbox this morning, the transplants from Syracuse wanted to hit the
    > >> same location, but they wanted me to show them some of "my" routes. There's only 75 miles of
    > >> trails out there. I said yes and then told #1 that it wasn't going to work as I wanted to show
    > >> these other folks around but she was welcome to join us.
    > >>
    > >> I feel a little guilty for bailing but not too much. I was taking care of myself ;-) getting
    > >> out for the kind of ride I needed today, with folks who's ability I know was the level I needed
    > >> to ride at. I was not in the mood to be patient or kind or mosey along with someone who I've
    > >> observed has "lazy butt FS syndrome". OK, so maybe I don't feel so guilty... So we rode fun,
    > >> fast and hard with minimum stoppage, got back to the trailhead with just enough daylight to
    > >> spare...
    > >>
    > >> Penny
    > >>
    > >
    > > I guess I see this differently having been on the other side (and still not up to par with some
    > > riders). It seems a bit rude. This is someone who is coming into the sport/hobby and shouldn't
    > > be shoved off like yesterday's news. Maybe you could have still gone with her and told her that
    > > if she was serious about learning the ropes there were efforts she would have to make. At least
    > > that way you could gauge the laziness.
    > >
    > > That being said, if I were her, I would have still tagged along and tried my best. Maybe it
    > > would have made you feel more guilty.
    > >
    > > Also, if you were not guilty about ditching her, you would not have posted the story. Deep down
    > > you feel a little remorse about what you
    > > did.
    >
    > I never said it wasn't rude. Some of it is expectations, with my
    "regular"
    > riding pals, one routinely bags for whatever reasons ( I really need to get a run in today, I have
    > a marathon coming up, etc) and I don't take it personally, I just go anyway if I feel like it.
    > Sure, I could have handled it better, but I have no regrets for the choice I made.
    >
    > If you'd read more of my posts, you'd know that I spend an awful lot of time taking new (mostly)
    > women riders out, being the good shepherd, trail guide and spotter.
    >
    > Penny S
    >
    >

    I do read your posts and I'm not saying that you don't do more than your share of showing the noobs
    around. I just don't like to see anyone discouraged. Oh and the more Betty's the better! Nothing
    wrong with eye candy I always say.
     
  11. On Tue, 28 Oct 2003 at 16:45 GMT, Sir Ride-A-Lot penned:
    >
    > I do read your posts and I'm not saying that you don't do more than your share of showing the
    > noobs around. I just don't like to see anyone discouraged. Oh and the more Betty's the better!
    > Nothing wrong with eye candy I always say.
    >

    Hey now. I don't run around calling the buff guys I see on the trail "eye candy" ...

    Or do I?

    Seriously, unless a person is out solely to attract the attention of

    candy." It strongly implies that their only purpose is your viewing entertainment. I doubt Penny
    would be slumming with someone whose only goal in mountain biking is to snag a man, so I don't think
    the term "eye candy" is appropriate.

    --
    monique "don't call me a ski bunny, either"
     
  12. Bob M

    Bob M Guest

    On Tue, 28 Oct 2003 10:34:29 -0700, Monique Y. Herman <[email protected]> wrote:

    > On Tue, 28 Oct 2003 at 16:45 GMT, Sir Ride-A-Lot penned:
    >>
    >> I do read your posts and I'm not saying that you don't do more than your share of showing the
    >> noobs around. I just don't like to see anyone discouraged. Oh and the more Betty's the better!
    >> Nothing wrong with eye candy I always say.
    >>
    >
    > Hey now. I don't run around calling the buff guys I see on the trail "eye candy" ...
    >
    > Or do I?
    >
    > Seriously, unless a person is out solely to attract the attention of

    > candy." It strongly implies that their only purpose is your viewing entertainment. I doubt Penny
    > would be slumming with someone whose only goal in mountain biking is to snag a man, so I don't
    > think the term "eye candy" is appropriate.
    >

    I can think of many places where it'd be easier to attract a man than on a mountain bike. For one
    thing (depending on where and when you ride), you might not see anyone -- male or female -- while
    riding. I used to ride in AZ and rarely saw anyone. In CT, I see more, but some days there's no one
    around; other days, I can't get away from people (similarly, some locations have no one, and others
    are too crowded).

    Having said that, mountain biking seems to be one area where the men vastly outnumber the women.

    --
    Bob M in CT Remove 'x.' to reply
     
  13. Penny S

    Penny S Guest

    Monique Y. Herman spray painted on a boxcar:
    > On Tue, 28 Oct 2003 at 16:45 GMT, Sir Ride-A-Lot penned:
    >>
    >> I do read your posts and I'm not saying that you don't do more than your share of showing the
    >> noobs around. I just don't like to see anyone discouraged. Oh and the more Betty's the better!
    >> Nothing wrong with eye candy I always say.
    >>
    >
    > Hey now. I don't run around calling the buff guys I see on the trail "eye candy" ...
    >
    > Or do I?
    >
    > Seriously, unless a person is out solely to attract the attention of

    > candy." It strongly implies that their only purpose is your viewing entertainment. I doubt Penny
    > would be slumming with someone whose only goal in mountain biking is to snag a man, so I don't
    > think the term "eye candy" is appropriate.

    Oh, puleese... men are engineered for visual stimulation, they can't help
    it. It's harmless 95% of the time, and it makes them happy.

    trust me, when you are my age( 43) and a guy oogles you or tells you that you have a great ass, you
    won't give a feminist's rat's ass about the socio-political implications of such a thing.

    Penny S
     
  14. On Tue, 28 Oct 2003 at 17:45 GMT, Bob M penned:
    >
    > I can think of many places where it'd be easier to attract a man than on a mountain bike. For one
    > thing (depending on where and when you ride), you might not see anyone -- male or female -- while
    > riding. I used to ride in AZ and rarely saw anyone. In CT, I see more, but some days there's no
    > one around; other days, I can't get away from people (similarly, some locations have no one, and
    > others are too crowded).

    On the newbie trails I'm used to, it would be pretty rare not to see anyone. (This may be because
    I'm going slow enough that geriatrics are passing me.)

    > Having said that, mountain biking seems to be one area where the men vastly outnumber the women.

    Indeed. On the other hand, from what I've seen, it's pretty easy to get admiring looks from the guys
    -- all you have to do is make sure that you're bleeding profusely *grin*

    --
    monique Unless you need to share ultra-sensitive super-spy stuff with me, please don't email me
    directly. I will most likely see your post before I read your mail, anyway.
     
  15. On Tue, 28 Oct 2003 at 17:48 GMT, Penny S penned:
    > Monique Y. Herman spray painted on a boxcar:
    >> On Tue, 28 Oct 2003 at 16:45 GMT, Sir Ride-A-Lot penned:
    >>>
    >>> I do read your posts and I'm not saying that you don't do more than your share of showing the
    >>> noobs around. I just don't like to see anyone discouraged. Oh and the more Betty's the better!
    >>> Nothing wrong with eye candy I always say.
    >>>
    >>
    >> Hey now. I don't run around calling the buff guys I see on the trail "eye candy" ...
    >>
    >> Or do I?
    >>
    >> Seriously, unless a person is out solely to attract the attention of

    >> candy." It strongly implies that their only purpose is your viewing entertainment. I doubt Penny
    >> would be slumming with someone whose only goal in mountain biking is to snag a man, so I don't
    >> think the term "eye candy" is appropriate.
    >
    > Oh, puleese... men are engineered for visual stimulation, they can't help it. It's harmless 95% of
    > the time, and it makes them happy.
    >
    > trust me, when you are my age( 43) and a guy oogles you or tells you that you have a great ass,
    > you won't give a feminist's rat's ass about the socio-political implications of such a thing.
    >
    > Penny S
    >

    Find the place in my post where I said that guys shouldn't ogle. Go ahead, I dare you.

    I didn't object to looking. I objected to the phrase "eye candy."

    --
    monique Unless you need to share ultra-sensitive super-spy stuff with me, please don't email me
    directly. I will most likely see your post before I read your mail, anyway.
     
  16. Jd

    Jd Guest

    "Penny S" <[email protected]> wrote in message
    news:<[email protected]>... <snip>
    > I feel a little guilty for bailing but not too much.

    Ride solo more often, it's totally guilt-free.

    JD
     
  17. Bb

    Bb Guest

    On Tue, 28 Oct 2003 10:34:29 -0700, Monique Y. Herman wrote:

    > I doubt Penny would be slumming with someone whose only goal in mountain biking is to snag a man,
    > so I don't think the term "eye candy" is appropriate.

    And we all know how important "appropriate" behavior is on a.m-b. ;-)

    --
    -BB- To reply to me, drop the attitude (from my e-mail address, at least) "It's a shallow life that
    doesn't give a person a few scars" - Garrison Keillor
     
  18. On Tue, 28 Oct 2003 at 18:22 GMT, Penny S penned:
    > Monique Y. Herman spray painted on a boxcar:
    >
    > Oh sorry. Hairsplitting if you ask me. Would "hotties in lycra" be a better phrase than "eye
    > candy"? One can look, but you can't label what's being looked at? At 43, I'll take being being
    > looked at/oggled/ eyecandy etc as a compliment any day.

    Okay, from now on, I'll just refer to women I see on the trail as "bitches."

    "The other day, I was biking past these bitches when ..."

    "A bunch of bitches pulled into the parking lot, getting ready for their ride ..."

    Oh, wait, that sounds funny. Why would that be? I know! Because bitch is an insult. So is eye candy.
    It implies there's nothing to the person but their physical appearance.

    To put it into perspective, the jargon file mentions, "We're also told [eye candy] is mainstream
    slang for soft pornography."

    Actually, I'm kind of fond of the phrase "hotties in lycra."

    On reviewing what I've typed here, I'll admit that the distinction between "hotties" and "eye candy"
    may be a pretty arbitrary connotation on my part. It still exists, but possibly only in my mind. So
    I'll drop it. Call folks eye candy all you like! You have my permission!

    --
    monique PLEASE don't CC me. Please. Pretty please with sugar on top. Whatever it takes, just don't
    CC me! I'm already subscribed!!
     
  19. Penny S wrote:
    > Oh sorry. Hairsplitting if you ask me. Would "hotties in lycra" be a better phrase than "eye
    > candy"? One can look, but you can't label what's being looked at? At 43, I'll take being being
    > looked at/oggled/ eyecandy etc as a compliment any day.
    >
    > penny
    >

    Now you two went and really did it ... cat fight. Picturing the famous Bud Light comercial ... :)
    --
    Craig Brossman, Durango Colorado (remove ".nospam" to reply)
     
  20. Mattb

    Mattb Guest

    "Monique Y. Herman" <[email protected]> wrote in message
    news:[email protected]...
    > On Tue, 28 Oct 2003 at 18:22 GMT, Penny S penned:
    > > Monique Y. Herman spray painted on a boxcar:
    > >
    > > Oh sorry. Hairsplitting if you ask me. Would "hotties in lycra" be a better phrase than "eye
    > > candy"? One can look, but you can't label what's being looked at? At 43, I'll take being being
    > > looked at/oggled/ eyecandy etc as a compliment any day.

    Nice ass, Penny. Just thought I'd get that out there.

    >
    >
    > Okay, from now on, I'll just refer to women I see on the trail as "bitches."
    >
    > "The other day, I was biking past these bitches when ..."
    >
    > "A bunch of bitches pulled into the parking lot, getting ready for their ride ..."
    >
    > Oh, wait, that sounds funny. Why would that be? I know! Because bitch is an insult. So is eye
    > candy. It implies there's nothing to the person but their physical appearance.

    Actually I just head Snoop Dogg affectionately referring to one of his favorite bitches the other
    day. I think it's all in eye the beholder, how it was intended.

    Of course things can be intended one way and interpreted another. That's the stuff Three's Company
    plots are made of!

    Matt
     
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