Gumm vs. Roll vs Ay-pecks

Discussion in 'Road Cycling' started by Clovis Lark, Jul 14, 2003.

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  1. Clovis Lark

    Clovis Lark Guest

    Last week, poor Kirstin got unfairly singled out. Today, Bobke took it to the limit with his yeller
    pen and some really, really insightful commentary. Cycling 101. Imagine the lucky neophyte. I can
    only imagine:

    Daddy daddy!!!

    What is it?

    I learned a new word today.

    What might that be, tiger?

    Ay-picks!! Ay-pucks!

    Wassthat, punkin?

    Ape-pecs! D'ya know what that is?

    Nope, li'l guy (chuckling)

    Its kinda like the flagpole in winter only its yellow and wiggly! And you're not asposed to do it on
    an open road! What's a open road?

    Well, junior, I'd guess one where they let you drive. But I never heard of no AY-pucks or whatever
    you're talkin' about. Kinda sounds nasty, son! How do you spell it?

    I'm not sure, dad. I was sure you'd know about it.

    Well, why don't you just calm down a bit and tell me where you learned about this?

    Ok (breathing a bit heavily with excitement, first chance to have a leg up on poor old dad...).
    Well, its sort of like this (starting to sound worried). I was, you know, watching tee-vee this


    Well, I know you told me not to look at those channels with the big numbers and awl...

    You little brat! Were you watching those dirty Encore movies again?

    Know, daddy! Don't get angry yet! I went past them!


    Yeah, there's this funny channel with all these car commercials, and beer commercials with talking
    bears, the tomb-raider hottie and a PIRATE!!!

    I told you not to watch those films. They're only for daddy when mommy's out of town and uncle bob
    comes over.

    Bob's not my uncle...

    Well, don't tell mommy and I won't get mad for what you did today.

    OK, daddy. Well in between all these cool commercials, they show little bits of all these guys in
    like super hero outfits and they're on bikes. Well, in the middle of this, this guy says that this
    is the twoer dee frantz or sumpthin and then he makes these weird yellow Ape-pecs appear outta
    nowhere, like they are going to attack the green biker and then there are more of them, and more and
    he says, don't do this on an open road, and then this lady says don't do this on an open road just
    like the teacher at school says don't lick the flagpole in january. What's it mean?

    Beats me (sounding completely clueless). So did the yellow A-picks get the superhero in green?

    No, they kept missing and going off the road. They looked really stupid and lame.

    Son, I think it means you need to stay away from those weird channels. And another thing! I know I'm
    letting you ride a bike right now and all. But that's because your small. But when you're all growed
    up, you stay off them things, ya hear? You drive like a man! And next time you watch the tee-vee, I
    want you ta tell me 'bout Mr T and the A-team. I don't wanna hear bout no A-picks! Now go stand in
    the corner and say the pledge of allegiance!

  2. Paul

    Paul Guest

    That was great! Hi-5 to you!!! <paul
  3. Clovis Lark

    Clovis Lark Guest

    Paul <[email protected]> wrote:
    > That was great! Hi-5 to you!!! <paul>

    It was so great that I decided there would be no point to watch a bunch finish in the Gap in Bobke's
    teeth. Later, when I logged on at work, I discovered that I had missed the "event" of the day. Oh
    well, one man's A-picks are another man's Akmies...
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