Dero in a phone booth... Picture our hero, locked in a phone booth during a storm, wearing shorts and a t-shirt and eating a pastie. Someone called him a nutter, and rightly so.
Hippy decided to stay in Dover an extra day. This may have been because he wants to see the castle, but is more likely because he is a pisspot and is absolutely "off [his] [censored]" and "lost in a haze of beer and traffic fumes."
So he is not yet on his way to Calais. From what I can gather, he was on his way to the castle when he got sidetracked by drinking with locals, where the beer cost half as much as in London. (Well, he actually said "drimjin", but I think that means drinking.)
If he's on his way to Paris, I can recommend "Hotel Kuntz" (yes really). It's up between Gare du Nord (train station) and Gare du l'Est(sp?). It's cheap & friendly, and has plenty of room for storing your bicycle. About 33 Euro / night IIRC (they don't charge for kids - WooHoo!).
Walk out of the Gare du Nord, turn left. Walk along this steet until you see the blue 'sex shop' across the road on the right. Cross the road at the traffic island, heading down this street. Take the first street on your left, it's right up the end near the Indian sheets shop (Mmmmm) and internet cafe. Also there's a laundromat ("Lav Club"😉 just around the corner if you wanted to do something about that smell.
