Honour is restored ... sort of

Thursday, 23 January 2003

Honour is restored … sort of

Vernon & I went out for a mid-morning constitutional bike ride today. I was brave - rain was
threatening, a wind was blowing and I admit to being a fair weather cyclist. No chance of yours
truly becoming a triathlete

It was hard this morning - headwind blowing, cold, and I was glad of having three layers of clothing
on. We were on the last half of the little circuit we do and I was cycling up this here mountain
(hill to the fit, well, incline to the fit) and not doing too badly. Then I spotted him. A Stealth
Pensioner coming up on me from the side where it formed a junction with the road I was on, on his
bike. You know the type - it's his normal form of transport, the bike is surgically attached to his
body and he goes on and on for miles and miles, never showing the slightest sign of effort, and
always at a constant speed. I have come to loathe the sort

Following the embarrassment of failing to keep up with the cycling pensioners earlier in the week, I
was spurred on. I could not lose this one. There was me, nice shiny "proper" road bike, me in Lycra,
helmet, fluorescent yellow jacket… the Stealth Pensioner on his trusty rusting steed, probably as
old as he is, all in dark clothing… I had the honour of fatbirdonabike to uphold!

I switched up a gear and pedalled faster. My heart pumped and my bosoms heaved. My face turned puce
and the noise of my laboured breathing sounded similar to that of a hippo trying to get out of a mud
wallow in which it is stuck. I was not a pretty sight … or sound. Stealth Pensioner just carried
on pedalling as normal up the hill. I gritted my teeth, hit the wall (metaphorically, not
*literally*), the lactic acid in my muscles reached critical levels, but I ignored the pain to go
onward and upward.

I made it! I got to the top of the hill before Stealth Pensioner! Just, but I made it! Ah ha! The
adrenaline soared through my bloodstream. My face went from puce to plain old red.

Then, I looked - Stealth Pensioner was tailing me. Oh no! I could not allow Stealth pensioner to
catch up and overtake me. That would be just too much shame. AND - it had started to rain quite
steadily. Woe!

I gritted my teeth again - I upped a gear again, I pedalled faster gain. I looked around to see
Stealth Pensioner sat on my tail. I went puce again. I upped the gear, I dug deep into my feeble
physical resources - I cycled harder, I ignored the rain, the wind and the pain. My bosoms heaved,
partially obscuring my vision every time I breathed in. But I succeeded. I pulled away from Stealth
Pensioner.

Honour is restored. Muscles might ache; I may well be shattered for the rest of the day …

BUT …

Honour is restored!

Cheers, helen s

~~~~~~~~~~
Flush out that intestinal parasite and/or the waste product before sending a reply!

Any speeliong mistake$ aR the resiult of my cats sitting on the keyboaRRRDdd
~~~~~~~~~~

 

wafflycathcsdirtycatlitter wrote:
> You know the type - it's his normal form of transport, the bike is surgically attached to his body
> and he goes on and on for miles and miles, never showing the slightest sign of effort, and always
> at a constant speed. I have come to loathe the sort

I have come to admire them greatly. Some time ago I heard a talk from some guy, just a cyclist,
didn't look particularly unusual. He'd ridden most of the length of the country to visit some
friends, turned around and ridden home, all at the age of about 80, covering about 50-60 miles per
day including a blizzard across Rannoch Moor, and sleeping rough most of the time. I found it quite
humbling that this old geezer was doing such a huge journey as a matter of course, when at a
fraction of his age and supposedly fit I only do the occasional long day and comfortable B+B tour. I
hope that when I'm 80 I can still ride a bit.

James

 

wafflycathcsdirtycatlitter <[email protected]> wrote:

>
> Then, I looked - Stealth Pensioner was tailing me. Oh no! I could not allow Stealth pensioner to
> catch up and overtake me. That would be just too much shame. AND - it had started to rain quite
> steadily. Woe!

Ideal chance to stop and save face by putting on rain gear. " I would have beaten you, but I had to
stop" for exactly the same reason I always carry a camera when on group walks in the mountains!

--
Marc T Shirts, Sweatshirts, polo shirts, banners, signs,decals, stickers etc for clubs and
associations of all types http://www.jaceeprint.demon.co.uk/

 

> I gritted my teeth again - I upped a gear again, I pedalled faster gain.
I
> looked around to see Stealth Pensioner sat on my tail. I went puce again.
I
> upped the gear, I dug deep into my feeble physical resources - I cycled
harder,
> I ignored the rain, the wind and the pain. My bosoms heaved, partially obscuring my vision every
> time I breathed in. But I succeeded. I pulled
away

You drive a recumbrent (or whatever you Brits call a ligfiets) ? Cause those I think are less
efficient on hills...

> from Stealth Pensioner.

I once read... an old man has about 70% of the strength left he had as a young man. And, the average
young women has 70% of the strength of the average young man.

So you weren't doing to bad keeping up with him

Bas - a Dutchman by the way
|
+---- this explains my 4 bicycles...

 

"wafflycathcsdirtycatlitter" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...

>
> It was hard this morning - headwind blowing <snip>

Ye gods woman, too much detail! But head-wind though, sooo embarrassing

<snip>
> There was me, nice shiny "proper" road bike, me in Lycra, helmet, fluorescent yellow jacket. the
> Stealth Pensioner on his trusty rusting steed, probably as old
as
> he is, all in dark clothing. I had the honour of fatbirdonabike to uphold!

Was the stealth aspect that they had allowed their frame to rust over the words 'DAWES GALAXY'? If
you don't have one of those it's hardly a level playing field now is it? But well done - not only
did you win, you'll also sleep the night without having to get up eight times for a wee!

Actually, I quite fancy a new Super Galaxy (my bonus didn't quite extend to the elsewhere
thread E-Type like Guy's Black Wednesday friend) so anyone know when the 2003 Dawes range is
announced and is the rumour true that all Galaxies now come with a voucher for private
healthcare prostate removal? All I want something is won't desert me for the first kerb we
meet, unlike the Little Red Roadster That Weighs Nothing. Dead air + pavement = fractured
clavicle + bruised ribs + time off work.

James 'The sound of one hand typing'

 

Bas wrote:

> You drive a recumbrent (or whatever you Brits call a ligfiets) ? Cause those I think are less
> efficient on hills...

Recumbent, 'bent for short. Helen has yet to succumb to the dark side, but once she's been lured
into a comfy chair for 50 km it's only a matter of time until she succumbs... ;-)

'bents tend to be a bit slower going up, but quite a lot quicker coming down. Cuts both ways...

Pete.
--
Peter Clinch University of Dundee Tel 44 1382 660111 ext. 33637 Medical Physics, Ninewells Hospital
Fax 44 1382 640177 Dundee DD1 9SY Scotland UK net [email protected]
http://www.dundee.ac.uk/~pjclinch/

 

"Bas" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
>
>
> Bas - a Dutchman by the way
> |
> +---- this explains my 4 bicycles...

No it doesn't!! Proper Dutchmen only ever had one bike -- a large, rusty, black fiet!! (Which gets
stolen everytime the go to Amsterdam!!)

 

I'm beginning to suspect that the difference is that they've fought in or survived through at least
one world war whereas all we've done is Tekken to level five on Playstation before taking it back to
the rental shop. A blizzard on Rannoch Moor is nothing as compared to escaping five times from
Colditz. Respect, admiration, politeness, patience and plenty of room if passing on the pavement.

James 'The sound of one hand typing'

"James Annan" <[email protected]> wrote in message news:[email protected]...
> wafflycathcsdirtycatlitter wrote:
> > You know the type - it's his normal form of transport, the bike is surgically attached to his
> > body and he goes on and on for miles
and
> > miles, never showing the slightest sign of effort, and always at a
constant
> > speed. I have come to loathe the sort
>
> I have come to admire them greatly. Some time ago I heard a talk from some guy, just a cyclist,
> didn't look particularly unusual. He'd ridden most of the length of the country to visit some
> friends, turned around and ridden home, all at the age of about 80, covering about 50-60 miles per
> day including a blizzard across Rannoch Moor, and sleeping rough most of the time. I found it
> quite humbling that this old geezer was doing such a huge journey as a matter of course, when at a
> fraction of his age and supposedly fit I only do the occasional long day and comfortable B+B tour.
> I hope that when I'm 80 I can still ride a bit.
>
> James

 

James Annan <[email protected]> wrote in message news:[email protected]...
> wafflycathcsdirtycatlitter wrote:
> > You know the type - it's his normal form of transport, the bike is surgically attached to his
> > body and he goes on and on for miles
and
> > miles, never showing the slightest sign of effort, and always at a
constant
> > speed. I have come to loathe the sort
>
> I have come to admire them greatly. Some time ago I heard a talk from some guy, just a cyclist,
> didn't look particularly unusual. He'd ridden most of the length of the country to visit some
> friends, turned around and ridden home, all at the age of about 80, covering about 50-60 miles per
> day including a blizzard across Rannoch Moor, and sleeping rough most of the time. I found it
> quite humbling that this old geezer was doing such a huge journey as a matter of course, when at a
> fraction of his age and supposedly fit I only do the occasional long day and comfortable B+B tour.
> I hope that when I'm 80 I can still ride a bit.
>

Alan Young?

 

not true! everyone knows that up hills are more common than down hills!

panda

"Peter Clinch" <[email protected]> wrote in message news:[email protected]...
> Bas wrote:
>
> > You drive a recumbrent (or whatever you Brits call a ligfiets) ? Cause
those
> > I think are less efficient on hills...
>
> Recumbent, 'bent for short. Helen has yet to succumb to the dark side, but once she's been lured
> into a comfy chair for 50 km it's only a matter of time until she succumbs... ;-)
>
> 'bents tend to be a bit slower going up, but quite a lot quicker coming down. Cuts both ways...
>
> Pete.
> --
> Peter Clinch University of Dundee Tel 44 1382 660111 ext. 33637 Medical Physics, Ninewells
> Hospital Fax 44 1382 640177 Dundee DD1 9SY Scotland UK net [email protected]
> http://www.dundee.ac.uk/~pjclinch/

 

>I have come to admire them greatly

So have I, hence the on my original lighthearted quote. Darned if I was going to let one get the
better of me today - twice in a few days would have been just too much! ;-)

>I hope that when I'm 80 I can still ride a bit.

Me too!

Cheers, helen s

~~~~~~~~~~
Flush out that intestinal parasite and/or the waste product before sending a reply!

Any speeliong mistake$ aR the resiult of my cats sitting on the keyboaRRRDdd
~~~~~~~~~~

 

>Ideal chance to stop and save face by putting on rain gear. " I would have beaten you, but I had to
>stop" for exactly the same reason I always carry a camera when on group walks in the mountains!

Ack - I had the rain gear on already, so I couldn't use that excuse, I mean reason.

Cheers, helen s

~~~~~~~~~~
Flush out that intestinal parasite and/or the waste product before sending a reply!

Any speeliong mistake$ aR the resiult of my cats sitting on the keyboaRRRDdd
~~~~~~~~~~

 

>You drive a recumbrent (or whatever you Brits call a ligfiets) ? Cause those I think are less
>efficient on hills.

No, I'm just unfit!

Cheers, helen s Not Dutch, but I do have two bikes.

~~~~~~~~~~
Flush out that intestinal parasite and/or the waste product before sending a reply!

Any speeliong mistake$ aR the resiult of my cats sitting on the keyboaRRRDdd
~~~~~~~~~~

 

>Was the stealth aspect that they had allowed their frame to rust over the words 'DAWES GALAXY'? If
>you don't have one of those it's hardly a level playing field now is it?

True - he was *obviously* riding such a steed

Cheers, helen s

~~~~~~~~~~
Flush out that intestinal parasite and/or the waste product before sending a reply!

Any speeliong mistake$ aR the resiult of my cats sitting on the keyboaRRRDdd
~~~~~~~~~~

 

wafflycathcsdirtycatlitter wrote:

> Ack - I had the rain gear on already, so I couldn't use that excuse, I mean reason.

Stop to take it off, because it just wasn't tough enough for you to carry on in the dry... ;-)

Pete.
--
Peter Clinch University of Dundee Tel 44 1382 660111 ext. 33637 Medical Physics, Ninewells Hospital
Fax 44 1382 640177 Dundee DD1 9SY Scotland UK net [email protected]
http://www.dundee.ac.uk/~pjclinch/

 

On Thu, 23 Jan 2003 11:56:31 -0500, wafflycathcsdirtycatlitter wrote:

>>Ideal chance to stop and save face by putting on rain gear. " I would have beaten you, but I had
>>to stop" for exactly the same reason I always carry a camera when on group walks in the mountains!
>
> Ack - I had the rain gear on already, so I couldn't use that excuse, I mean reason.

Well, there's always the insistent Call of Nature...

 

wafflycathcsdirtycatlitter wrote:
> That's alright for you blokes who just have to whip out the willie, but for we ladies - there is
> no way no how I want to bare me bum & squat in public!

There's always a solution if you know where to look: http://www.restrooms.org/standing.html
http://www.travelmateinfo.com/

--
Danny Colyer (remove safety to reply) ( http://www.juggler.net/danny ) Recumbent cycle page:
http://www.speedy5.freeserve.co.uk/recumbents/ "He who dares not offend cannot be honest." -
Thomas Paine

 

On 25 Jan 2003 08:04:52 GMT, [email protected] (wafflycathcsdirtycatlitter) wrote:

>>Well, there's always the insistent Call of Nature...
>
>That's alright for you blokes who just have to whip out the willie, but for we ladies - there is no
>way no how I want to bare me bum & squat in public!
>

Why not build yourself a portaloo - or a shelter, at least - out of all those slabs?

Think differently, Helen.

James

--
A credit limit is NOT a target.

 

On Sat, 25 Jan 2003 03:04:52 -0500, wafflycathcsdirtycatlitter wrote:

>>Well, there's always the insistent Call of Nature...
>
> That's alright for you blokes who just have to whip out the willie, but for we ladies - there is
> no way no how I want to bare me bum & squat in public!

What ever happened to all those impenetrable hedge rows I see on British TV shows?

 

I think I might have seen skeletons on them - maybe the Galaxy rides itself once there's enough
pressure on the saddle? Any local ring road would do if we ever run out of burial space. It's an old
peoples bike but I still want one!

James

"wafflycathcsdirtycatlitter" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> >Was the stealth aspect that they had allowed their frame to rust over the words 'DAWES GALAXY'?
> >If you don't have one of those it's hardly a level playing field now is it?
>
> True - he was *obviously* riding such a steed
>
> Cheers, helen s
>
>
> ~~~~~~~~~~
> Flush out that intestinal parasite and/or the waste product before sending
a
> reply!
>
> Any speeliong mistake$ aR the resiult of my cats sitting on the
keyboaRRRDdd
> ~~~~~~~~~~