rosie wrote:
> I'll tell you how hot it is, a new record, 99 degrees, San Antonio sets
> a new record.--- I will admit up here it is a balmy 98..... Fabulous
> Texas !!!
>
> Rosie
Found this joke through Google:
"Summertime in... Texas
May 30
Just moved to Texas. Now this is a state that knows how to live!!
Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings. Mountains and deserts
blended together. What a place! Watched the sunset from a park lying on
a
blanket. It was beautiful. I've finally found my home. I love it here.
June 14th
Really heating up. Got to 100 today. Not a problem. Live in an
air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car. What a pleasure to
see the sun every day like this. I'm turning into a real sun
worshipper.
June 30th
Had the backyard landscaped with western plants today. Lots of cactus
and rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing for me. Another
scorcher today, but I love it here.
July 10th
The temperature hasn't been below 100 all week. How do people get used
to it? It is taking longer than I expected.
July 15th
Fell asleep by the pool. (Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my body.)
Missed two days of work, what a dumb thing to do. I learned my lesson
though: got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.
July 20th
I missed Tabby (our cat) sneaking into the car when I left this
morning.
By the time I got out to the hot car for lunch, Tabby had swollen up to
the size of a shopping bag and exploded all over $2,000 worth of
leather
upholstery. I told the kids she ran away. The car now smells like
Kibbles and ****. No more pets in this heat!
July 25th
Dry heat, my ass. Hot is hot!! The home air-conditioner is on the fritz
and AC repairman charged $200 just to drive by and tell me he needed to
order parts.
July 30th
Been sleeping outside by the pool for three nights now. $1,500 in damn
house payments and we can't even go inside. Why did I ever come here?
Aug 4th
115 degrees. Finally got the air-conditioner fixed today. It cost $500
and gets the temperature down to about 90. I hate this state!
Aug 8th
If another wise ass cracks, "Hot enough for you today?", I'm going to
tear his throat out. Damn heat. By the time I get to work the radiator
is boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell like Roasted
Tabby!!
Aug 10th
The weather report might as well be a damn recording: Hot and sunny.
It's
been too hot for two damn months and the weatherman says it might
really
warm up next week. Doesn't it ever rain in this barren damn desert??
Water rationing has been in effect all summer, so $1,700 worth of
cactus
just dried up and blew into the #@*&$!% pool. Even a cactus can't live
in
this heat.
Aug 14th
Welcome to Hell!!! Temperature got to 123 today. Forgot to crack the
window and blew the windshield out of the Lincoln. The installer came
to fix
it and said, "Hot enough for you today?" My wife had to spend the
$1,500 house payment to bail me out of jail.
Aug 30th
Worst day of the damn summer. I'm not leaving the house. The monsoon
rains finally came and all they did is to make it muggier than hell.
The
Lincoln is now floating somewhere in Mexico with its new $500
windshield.
That does it, we're moving to Illinois for some peace and quiet."
;-)
-Rusty