How to get heavier? (More eating?)

Discussion in 'Road Cycling' started by Ronaldo Jeremia, Jun 18, 2003.

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  1. One of my two goals this summer is to get more fat. (The other is to lose 10 IQ points.)

    What's the best way to do it? : )

    OK, what's the easiest way considering my usual training.

    I have a hunch. You tell me if it might work.

    All summer long I do eating, beerdrinking, very little cycling, loafing, baking. My
    base/normal/cardio/enduro fitness all sucks, so that is pretty good. (My real end goal is to be
    fatter, fyi.) I just need some more mass. One reason why is that there are no hills around here, but
    in XC ski races there are lots of them. I need more weight for the hills (going down them, as Flann
    Obrien would say).

    Anyway, I notice when I eat kids on a weekly basis, my fatness seems to jump up a good bit.

    So I'm thinking it might work to add children to my diet across the board.

    I'll test this theory by going on the next club ride heavy. See what happens. These are already hard
    rides. If I don't get dropped, etc., maybe next time out I'll add infants with some butter.

    But maybe you sports-phys people out there already know what using children for food does as regards
    training. Now, this isn't highly-trained training, not elite, but midrange. I'm not plateaued. I'm
    at about 5 chldrn/wk.

    --

    Jeff Potholder
    ****
    *Out Your Trapdoor * http://www.outyourtrapdoor.com for incomplete sentences, strange logic, and
    ingenious trolls... HOLY SMOKES!
     
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  2. Raptor

    Raptor Guest

    Ronaldo Jeremiah wrote:
    > One of my two goals this summer is to get more fat. (The other is to lose 10 IQ points.)
    >
    > What's the best way to do it? : )

    Lose the meth.

    --
    --
    Lynn Wallace http://www.xmission.com/~lawall "I'm not proud. We really haven't done everything we
    could to protect our customers. Our products just aren't engineered for security." --Microsoft VP in
    charge of Windows OS Development, Brian Valentine.
     
  3. Howard Kveck

    Howard Kveck Guest

    In article <[email protected]>, Raptor <[email protected]> wrote:

    > Ronaldo Jeremiah wrote:
    > > One of my two goals this summer is to get more fat. (The other is to lose 10 IQ points.)
    > >
    > > What's the best way to do it? : )
    >
    > Lose the meth.

    But that won't help in the IQ area. Perhaps wearing a baseball hat backwards will do the job
    there. Unless 10 points was just a starting point and greater losses are desired. Then wearing a
    baseball hat at any angle other than at 0 or 180 degrees will give the desired result.

    --
    tanx, Howard

    Read. Think. Type. Send.

    remove YOUR SHOES to reply, k?

    For some people, quantity IS quality...
     
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