How to handle a speeding ticket

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by Guest, Jul 12, 2002.

  1. Guest

    Guest Guest

    A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange:

    Officer: May I see your driver's license?
    Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got
    my 5th DUI.


    Officer: May I see the owner's card for this vehicle?
    Driver: It's not my car. I stole it.


    Officer: The car is stolen?
    Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I
    saw the owner's card in the glove box when I was putting
    my gun in there.


    Officer: There's a gun in the glove box?
    Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and
    killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the
    trunk.


    Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?
    Driver: Yes, sir.


    Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car
    was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the
    driver to handle the tense situation:


    Captain: Sir, can I see your license?
    Driver: Sure. Here it is.


    It was valid.


    Captain: Who's car is this?
    Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the owner' card.


    The driver owned the car.


    Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if
    there's a gun in it?
    Driver: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it.


    Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.


    Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said
    there's a body in it.
    Driver: No problem.


    Trunk is opened; no body.


    Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you
    told him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the
    glovebox, and that there was a dead body in the trunk.


    Driver: Yeah, I'll bet the lying dirtbag told you I was speeding, too!
     
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