Humor in uniform!

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by johnrite, Jan 1, 2010.

  1. johnrite

    johnrite New Member

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    Nine Things I Hate About Everyone.......
    1 People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours?

    2 People who are willing to get off their butt to search the entire room for the T.V. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually.

    3 When people say 'Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too'. You got that right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?

    4 When people say 'it's always the last place you look'. Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this?

    5 When people say while watching a film 'did you see that?'. No Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the stupid floor.

    6 People who ask 'Can I ask you a question?'.... Didn't really give me a choice there, did you sunshine?

    7 When something is 'new and improved!' Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.

    8 When people say 'life is short'. What the hell?? Life is the longest thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?

    9 When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks 'Has the bus come yet?'. If the bus came, would I still be standing here?
     
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  2. kdelong

    kdelong Well-Known Member

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    The answer to #8 is "Pay taxes".
     
  3. markasandre

    markasandre New Member

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    Well on 8 you can be dead longer. Some years ago I was sitting in the drivers cab of my train (being the driver I find it the best place to work from) when a passenger of the female species asked if this was the train to (pick your destination)? I answered that it was to which she asked was I sure? I gave her a quizzical look and responded pretty much so as I was driving and they expected me to generally know where we going. She then asked if I went all the way. Not being one to let a gift line drop I said if she bought me dinner and a few drinks I would certainly think about it. For a few seconds I got a blank look then a quick grin and she left....never did get that dinner.
     
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