"Jon Senior" <jon@restlesslemon_DOT_co_DOT_uk.remove> wrote in message
news:
[email protected]...
> In article <[email protected]>, [email protected]
> says...
> <some stuff about distressing remarks>
>
> OK. Since you clearly missed the point entirely, we'll have another go.
>
> You said:
>
> "Even if what you suggest were true, how exactly can telling people how
> other people view them, be considered hurtful?"
>
> So I suggested a course of action that would demonstrate that the above
> would be hurtful:
>
> "Walk up to the next overweight person that you find and tell them that
> you find their physique revolting. If you wouldn't do this, then don't
> do it here. Simple."
>
> To which you assumed that I was making a remark about the overweight and
> successfully answered your own question.
No you were using an all to common attitude towards the overweight
as an example. Basically what you were saying was that " walking up to
an overweight person and telling them you find their physique revolting"
is a credible scenario. Otherwise you wouldn't have chosen it to make
your point.
You chose to use that example I didn't.
And it was totally innapproprite for three reasons.
First by drawing attention to the fact that such attitudes
are credible in order to illustrate a point, all you achieve is
to cause possible distress unecessarily. Overweight people don't
need to be reminded of society's attitudes towards them in this
way. Not on a cycling group at least. If they read obesity
support groups then possibly, unfortunate though it is, they
can expect all the abuse and insults going.
Second if you need to use extreme examples to prove your point
then your point probably isn't very good to start with.
Third your citing that example rested on the assumption that I
could identify with the action proposed. I couldn't, and I find
all such thinking deeply offensive and only one step away from
racism. All appearenceism is equally objectionable in my book.
I could I suppose, almost consider such a choice of example as
being insulting but I'll choose no to do so.
>
> The reason that telling people how others view them can be
> hurtful, is that self-image and actual image are two different
> things. This (to continue along the nutrition line) manifests
> itself in other cases such as anorexia.
I wasn't concerned with people's appearance at all, but helping
them communicate better. Its patently obvious that some individuals
very often succeed in creating precisely the opposite effect to
that which they intend. In terms of communicating nobody
consciously wants to make a fool of themselves or come across as
flustered or over-anxious and that's precisely what many people do.
And if these are people you care about, then its your duty to try
and help them in any way you can.
Curious
>
> Do try to keep up at the back. 
>
> Jon
Appearencist!
