Sir Roger, a classic!!! Made my day.
--
Caveat Lector "the further you go outside, the further you go inside" - B. McKibben Doug Freese
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Roger Hunter wrote:
> <
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>
>>Is there any such thing as a perfect training week, one that a person could do year round without
>>risk of injury?
>
>
> Yes, my friend, there is. And as I have a spare ten minutes, I shall outline it for you.
>
> Mon:
>
> My wife goes to work after preparing my breakfast of Sugar Puffs, orange juice, French bread and
> Emmental cheese. The kids disappear happily to school, giggling about how well they're doing in
> the half-term exams. I gaze out the window and note the sun is already beating down from a clear
> blue sky. The postman steps smartly up my front path and delivers two letters. One is a
> notification of a £13,435 tax refund. The second contains a request from Ferrari to take over from
> Rubens B. in the F1 team.
>
> After an hour reading the newspapers, during which I note I'm being discussed on the sports pages
> as an outstanding Veteran athlete, I check in at rec.running. Surprise! I've been awarded
> 'Contributor of the decade', the prize being the head of 'TheBillRodgers' mounted on a wall
> plaque. Oz has written a 102 KB post of congratulation, frankly admitting that all of his posts
> were utter nonsense, and promising to quote my words of wisdom in future. I am so moved I quite
> forget myself and am kind to Douglas by mistake.
>
> An hour later I'm getting ready for my run. Surprisingly, all of my favourite running gear is
> washed and ironed. I start to stretch, but note that I am so flexible it feel like I'm 16 again. A
> warm breeze caresses my lithe body as I stride outside in my favourite running top and shorts. I
> start to run and experience that 1 in 500 run feeling when you're moving fast with absolutely no
> effort at all. The 18k off-road run goes perfectly on a firm yet forgiving forest track. Deer
> applaud my style as I run powerfully by. Rabbits gaze in awe at my thighs. Raptors follow me at a
> respectful distance, amazed at the grace of the 'king of beasts'. About 1k from home - just after
> I've checked in a tractor's mirror that my sweat-drenched hair is looking particularly manly - I
> am surprised to come across our local female 'guest workers' having their morning break by the
> side of the field. It's hot, and the silly little things are all topless. At first they're
> startled, but - once they recognise me - they make no attempt to cover themselves. Instead, they
> stand and jump up and down, throwing wild flowers in my path as I slow to a jog and brush against
> their clamouring bodies.
>
> Arriving home, I find my sister awaiting my return. She feels so bad about being mean to me for
> 40-odd years that she's decided to hand me the keys to her lightweight E-type, a car she knows I
> have coveted for many years. Fortunately, she then disappears from whence she came in the blink
> of an eye.
>
> After my shower, I step onto the scales and notice that I've returned to my racing weight of 58
> kilos. Oh my! Thus amused, I wander downstairs and make myself lunch - only to find that mummy has
> visited whilst I've been on my run and has left lunch in the oven. As I scoff my toad-in-the-hole
> (made with vegetarian sausages, of course) I realise that if I'm not careful I'll be late for my
> afternoor meeting with Cameron Diaz. We met on Concorde......
>
> ......and so it continues.
>
> To answer your question sensibly, of course there isn't a perfect training regime, or a perfect
> training week. Any effort we expend trying to be 'perfect' is a waste of time. Just be happy to be
> alive and able to run. Cope with the good and the bad with a smile, and you'll do OK.
>
> Enjoy your crappy week.
>
>
> Roger.
>
>
>