R
Richard Longwoo
Guest
Jeff Jones Wins Presidency In Secret Online Overnight Chat
Room Election, Names Cabinet, Etc.
CYCLINGNEWS (Dot Com) - On account of it being an election
year, or whatever, President Governor good-ole-boy Jeff
Jones accidentally held the 2004 election in an AOL or Yahoo
chat room or somewhere last night. The results were:
Jeff Jones --------------------------------------------- 1
billion votes Tom Kunich ------------------------------------------
500 million votes Haven Hamilton -------------------------------------
3 votes
Tom Kunich was also arrested for voting twice for Jeff
Jones.
The Supreme Court promptly OK'd the election results even
though the election wasn't held in November like apparently
it's supposed to be.
Supreme Court Chief Justice, Diana Ross or Clarence Thomas
or whoever, stated the election would count on account of
how like there were probably about a zillion times more
people voting in this accidental election than there would
have been if the election were held in November when it's
apparently supposed to be.
After the landslide election victory, President Jones
promptly gave an impromptu state of the union address in
which he stated that, starting tomorrow, all non-good-ole-
boys would be shot on sight, so if you weren't a good-ole-
boy, you damn well better become one fast, but if you
already were one, you didn't need to do a damn thing, which,
if you're a good-ole-boy, is most likely what you were
already doing anyway, so you REALLY didn't need to
He also combined the cabinet and the Supreme Court into one
branch of Congress and named all the people who'd be on or
in it. Here it/they is/are:
Secretary of State: Jimmy Swaggart Secretary of Defense:
Jerry Fallwell Secretary of the Treasury: Pat Robertson
Secretary of Commerce: Jim and Tammy Faye Baaker Secretary
of Labor: Billy Graham
Supreme Court Chief Justice: Clarence Thomas Justice:
Clarence Thomas Jr. Justice: Clarence Thomas III Justice:
Long Dong Silver Justice: Long Dong Silver Jr. Justice: Long
Dong Silver III Justice: Robert Bork Justice: Robert Bork
Jr. Justice: Robert Bork III Justice: Tammy Faye Baaker
Justice: Ice Cube or Ice-T
Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff: Ron Jeremy Federal
Reserve Chairman: Johnny Wadd or Johnny Depp Chairman of the
Council of Economic Advisors: Carol Doda
President Jones also appointed "Richard Adams" to take
over in case Robert Chung tried to pull another one of
those Nixon Kennedy Debate Assassinations on him the way
***** Horton did on Governor what's his name, Moonbeam,
or whoever.
Vice President and UN representative and foreign trade
representative Tammy Faye Baaker was unavailable for
comment.
Room Election, Names Cabinet, Etc.
CYCLINGNEWS (Dot Com) - On account of it being an election
year, or whatever, President Governor good-ole-boy Jeff
Jones accidentally held the 2004 election in an AOL or Yahoo
chat room or somewhere last night. The results were:
Jeff Jones --------------------------------------------- 1
billion votes Tom Kunich ------------------------------------------
500 million votes Haven Hamilton -------------------------------------
3 votes
Tom Kunich was also arrested for voting twice for Jeff
Jones.
The Supreme Court promptly OK'd the election results even
though the election wasn't held in November like apparently
it's supposed to be.
Supreme Court Chief Justice, Diana Ross or Clarence Thomas
or whoever, stated the election would count on account of
how like there were probably about a zillion times more
people voting in this accidental election than there would
have been if the election were held in November when it's
apparently supposed to be.
After the landslide election victory, President Jones
promptly gave an impromptu state of the union address in
which he stated that, starting tomorrow, all non-good-ole-
boys would be shot on sight, so if you weren't a good-ole-
boy, you damn well better become one fast, but if you
already were one, you didn't need to do a damn thing, which,
if you're a good-ole-boy, is most likely what you were
already doing anyway, so you REALLY didn't need to
He also combined the cabinet and the Supreme Court into one
branch of Congress and named all the people who'd be on or
in it. Here it/they is/are:
Secretary of State: Jimmy Swaggart Secretary of Defense:
Jerry Fallwell Secretary of the Treasury: Pat Robertson
Secretary of Commerce: Jim and Tammy Faye Baaker Secretary
of Labor: Billy Graham
Supreme Court Chief Justice: Clarence Thomas Justice:
Clarence Thomas Jr. Justice: Clarence Thomas III Justice:
Long Dong Silver Justice: Long Dong Silver Jr. Justice: Long
Dong Silver III Justice: Robert Bork Justice: Robert Bork
Jr. Justice: Robert Bork III Justice: Tammy Faye Baaker
Justice: Ice Cube or Ice-T
Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff: Ron Jeremy Federal
Reserve Chairman: Johnny Wadd or Johnny Depp Chairman of the
Council of Economic Advisors: Carol Doda
President Jones also appointed "Richard Adams" to take
over in case Robert Chung tried to pull another one of
those Nixon Kennedy Debate Assassinations on him the way
***** Horton did on Governor what's his name, Moonbeam,
or whoever.
Vice President and UN representative and foreign trade
representative Tammy Faye Baaker was unavailable for
comment.