Joke Du Jour 03-12-06. Speeding tickets

Discussion in 'Food and nutrition' started by OmManiPadmeOmelet, Mar 12, 2006.

  1. This might not be a terribly good idea, but it was still funny..... ;-)



    A man was pulled over for speeding down the highway, the officer came to
    the drivers window and said, "Sir, may I see your drivers license and
    registration?"

    The man said, "Well officer I don't have a license, it was
    taken away for a DUI."

    The officer, in surprise, said," What, do you have a registration for
    the vehicle?"

    So the man replied, "No sir, the car is not mine I stole it, but I am
    pretty sure I say a registration card in the glove box when I put the
    gun in it."

    The officer stepped back, "There is a gun in the glove box?!?" The man
    sighed and said, "Yes sir, I used to kill the woman who owns the car
    before I stuffed her in the trunk."

    The officer steps toward the back of the car and says," Sir do not move,
    I am calling for backup."

    The officer calls for backup and about ten minutes another highway
    patrolman arrives.

    He walks up to the window slowly and asks the man for his driver's
    license and registration.

    The man said," Yes officer here it right here." It all checked out so
    the officer said," Is there a gun in the glove box sir?"

    The man laughs and says," No officer why would there be a gun in the
    glove box." He opened the glove box and showed him that there was no
    gun.

    The second officer asked him to open the trunk because he had reason to
    believe that there was a body in it. The man agrees and opens the trunk,
    no dead body.

    The second officer says, "Sir I do not understand, the officer that
    pulled you over said that you did not have a license, the car was
    stolen, there was a gun in the glove box, and a dead body in the trunk."


    The mans looks the officer in the eyes and says, "Yeah and I'll bet he
    said I was speeding too."
    --
    Peace, Om.

    "My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch." -Jack Nicholson
     
    Tags:


  2. On Sun 12 Mar 2006 08:10:24a, Thus Spake Zarathustra, or was it
    OmManiPadmeOmelet?

    > This might not be a terribly good idea, but it was still funny..... ;-)
    >
    >
    >
    > A man was pulled over for speeding down the highway, the officer came to
    > the drivers window and said, "Sir, may I see your drivers license and
    > registration?"
    >
    > The man said, "Well officer I don't have a license, it was
    > taken away for a DUI."
    >
    > The officer, in surprise, said," What, do you have a registration for
    > the vehicle?"
    >
    > So the man replied, "No sir, the car is not mine I stole it, but I am
    > pretty sure I say a registration card in the glove box when I put the
    > gun in it."
    >
    > The officer stepped back, "There is a gun in the glove box?!?" The man
    > sighed and said, "Yes sir, I used to kill the woman who owns the car
    > before I stuffed her in the trunk."
    >
    > The officer steps toward the back of the car and says," Sir do not move,
    > I am calling for backup."
    >
    > The officer calls for backup and about ten minutes another highway
    > patrolman arrives.
    >
    > He walks up to the window slowly and asks the man for his driver's
    > license and registration.
    >
    > The man said," Yes officer here it right here." It all checked out so
    > the officer said," Is there a gun in the glove box sir?"
    >
    > The man laughs and says," No officer why would there be a gun in the
    > glove box." He opened the glove box and showed him that there was no
    > gun.
    >
    > The second officer asked him to open the trunk because he had reason to
    > believe that there was a body in it. The man agrees and opens the trunk,
    > no dead body.
    >
    > The second officer says, "Sir I do not understand, the officer that
    > pulled you over said that you did not have a license, the car was
    > stolen, there was a gun in the glove box, and a dead body in the trunk."
    >
    >
    > The mans looks the officer in the eyes and says, "Yeah and I'll bet he
    > said I was speeding too."


    LOL!!!

    --
    Wayne Boatwright o¿o
    ____________________

    BIOYA
     
  3. Andy

    Andy Guest

    OmManiPadmeOmelet <[email protected]> wrote in news:Omelet-
    [email protected]:

    Om,

    I heard that one a while back. Funny.

    True story: In 1976, I was commuting back from work in my '67 VW bug when
    the CHP (California Highway Patrol) pulled me over. He asked 'Do you know
    how fast you were goign?" I said "I don't think this can go faster than
    55mph!" <VBG>

    He asked for my reg. and driver's licence. I gave him my reg and when I
    fished for my wallet, I'd forgotten to transfer it from yesterday's
    pants.

    I said "I don't have my wallet but my CDL # is xxx-xx-xxx." He asked me
    "You actually remember your driver's license number?" "Yes. Run it!" He
    stared at me in disbelief for a moment, gave me back my registration and
    said 'Hit the road!" And waved me off.

    It was the only opportunity I had for getting a speeding ticket and
    didn't because of memorizing one letter and seven numbers! I still
    remember them 30 years later.

    Andy
     
  4. In article <[email protected]>,
    Wayne Boatwright <wayneboatwright_at_gmail.com> wrote:

    > LOL!!!
    >
    > --
    > Wayne Boatwright o¿o


    :)
    --
    Peace, Om.

    "My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch." -Jack Nicholson
     
  5. In article <[email protected]>, Andy <q> wrote:

    > OmManiPadmeOmelet <[email protected]> wrote in news:Omelet-
    > [email protected]:
    >
    > Om,
    >
    > I heard that one a while back. Funny.
    >
    > True story: In 1976, I was commuting back from work in my '67 VW bug when
    > the CHP (California Highway Patrol) pulled me over. He asked 'Do you know
    > how fast you were goign?" I said "I don't think this can go faster than
    > 55mph!" <VBG>
    >
    > He asked for my reg. and driver's licence. I gave him my reg and when I
    > fished for my wallet, I'd forgotten to transfer it from yesterday's
    > pants.
    >
    > I said "I don't have my wallet but my CDL # is xxx-xx-xxx." He asked me
    > "You actually remember your driver's license number?" "Yes. Run it!" He
    > stared at me in disbelief for a moment, gave me back my registration and
    > said 'Hit the road!" And waved me off.
    >
    > It was the only opportunity I had for getting a speeding ticket and
    > didn't because of memorizing one letter and seven numbers! I still
    > remember them 30 years later.
    >
    > Andy
    >


    Too damned funny!!! :)

    I have my DL# memorized as it's not on my checks, and they nearly always
    ask for it.
    --
    Peace, Om.

    "My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch." -Jack Nicholson
     
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