Joke Du Jour, Marketing in America

Discussion in 'Food and nutrition' started by OmManiPadmeOmelet, Mar 18, 2006.

  1. People often ask for an explanation of "Marketing." Well, here it is:

    You're a woman and you see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him
    and say, "I'm fantastic in bed."

    That's Direct Marketing.

    You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a handsome guy. One of
    your friends goes up to him and pointing at you says, "She's fantastic
    in bed."

    That's Advertising.

    You see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him and get his
    telephone number. The next day you call and say, "Hi, I'm fantastic in
    bed."

    That's Telemarketing.

    You see a guy at a party, you straighten your dress. You walk up to him
    and pour him a drink. You say, "May I," and reach up to straighten his
    tie, brushing your breast lightly against his arm, and then say, "By the
    way, I'm fantastic in bed."

    That's Public Relations.

    You're at a party and see a handsome guy. He walks up to you and says, I
    hear you're fantastic in bed."

    That's Brand Recognition.

    You're at a party and see a handsome guy. He fancies you, but you talk
    him into going home with your friend.

    That's a Sales Rep.

    Your friend can't satisfy him so he calls you.

    That's Tech Support.

    You're on your way to a party when you realize that there could be
    handsome men in all these houses you're passing. So you climb onto the
    roof of one situated towards the center and shout at the top of your
    lungs, "I'm fantastic in bed!"

    That's Junk Mail.

    You are at a party and this well-built man walks up to you and gropes
    your breast and grabs your ass.

    That's Arnold Schwarzenegger.

    You like it, but 20 years later your attorney decides you were offended
    and files suit.

    That's America.
    --
    Peace, Om.

    "My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch." -Jack Nicholson
     
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  2. ~patches~

    ~patches~ Guest

    OmManiPadmeOmelet wrote:

    > People often ask for an explanation of "Marketing." Well, here it is:
    >


    Cute! I hope you don't mind me passing this one on?
     
  3. OmManiPadmeOmelet wrote:
    > You are at a party and this well-built man walks up to you and gropes
    > your breast and grabs your ass.
    >
    > That's Arnold Schwarzenegger.
    >
    > You like it, but 20 years later your attorney decides you were offended
    > and files suit.
    >
    > That's America.


    Yes. And it's the best system for defending anyone's rights on Earth.

    Moral: don't grope women, because it will - deservedly - haunt you for
    the rest of your life.

    --Blair
     
  4. sf

    sf Guest

    On Sat, 18 Mar 2006 08:48:47 -0600, OmManiPadmeOmelet wrote:

    > People often ask for an explanation of "Marketing." Well, here it is:
    >

    LOLOLOL
    --

    Practice safe eating. Always use condiments.
     
  5. In article <[email protected]>,
    ~patches~ <[email protected]> wrote:

    > OmManiPadmeOmelet wrote:
    >
    > > People often ask for an explanation of "Marketing." Well, here it is:
    > >

    >
    > Cute! I hope you don't mind me passing this one on?


    Goodness! Please feel free to pass on anything I post!

    I got all of it off of e-mails sent to me... :)
    --
    Peace, Om.

    "My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch." -Jack Nicholson
     
  6. In article <[email protected]>,
    "Blair P. Houghton" <[email protected]> wrote:

    > OmManiPadmeOmelet wrote:
    > > You are at a party and this well-built man walks up to you and gropes
    > > your breast and grabs your ass.
    > >
    > > That's Arnold Schwarzenegger.
    > >
    > > You like it, but 20 years later your attorney decides you were offended
    > > and files suit.
    > >
    > > That's America.

    >
    > Yes. And it's the best system for defending anyone's rights on Earth.
    >
    > Moral: don't grope women, because it will - deservedly - haunt you for
    > the rest of your life.
    >
    > --Blair
    >


    <giggles>

    I'm not about to blame Arnold for his early years...
    He was young, horny (normal) and women threw themselves at him.

    I'd pay money to have been groped by him when he was still muscular.....

    The people that attempt to judge him for it now need to get a damned
    life.
    --
    Peace, Om.

    "My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch." -Jack Nicholson
     
  7. In article <[email protected]>,
    sf <[email protected]> wrote:

    > On Sat, 18 Mar 2006 08:48:47 -0600, OmManiPadmeOmelet wrote:
    >
    > > People often ask for an explanation of "Marketing." Well, here it is:
    > >

    > LOLOLOL


    ;-)
    --
    Peace, Om.

    "My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch." -Jack Nicholson
     
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