Jones gets busted!!!

Discussion in 'Road Cycling' started by DanSchmatz, Sep 28, 2004.

  1. DanSchmatz

    DanSchmatz Guest

    The US anti doping Agency has reported that Mike Jones has accepted a 6 month
    provisional suspension from all competition and training for testing positive
    for having a body fat percentage over the  ten percent legal limit. This
    positive test usually carries a 3 month mandatory suspension, but when
    officials contacted Jones in his semi temporary permanent housing in boulder
    colorado he stated that he was indeed Guilty of the charges and voluntarily
    suspended himself for 6 months and in a unprecedented move, suspended himself
    from all cycling training except "riding home late at night on a town bike".
    When SoProJones finally caught up with Jones at the Qdoba Burrito joint, Jones
    was more than happy to talk about his failing of the body fat test. "You see,
    its not really my fault, cuz i was not aware that the pizza hut and Chipotle
    burritos also contained lots of fat and shit". Jones assured us that he would
    recover from this and come back lean and mean in the spring. "i mean, shit, its
    not like i make a lance like salary, so my money is bound to run out sometime
    soon, so i will be eating chuck Coyles (mikes landlord) bread and stuff out of
    his fridge" Jones took much of the blame for the bad news but did attribute
    some to the team, "you know, shit man, if I hadnt made so much prize money this
    year i wouldnt have extra burrito money and i woujld be eating less, so in a
    way its all the guys that made good money this year at races faults". "The only
    good thing that could come out of this is I am planning on filing a class
    action law suit for all athletes that get fat at these stupid burrito joints in
    the off season, that is after i redeem my frequent buyer points on my Q card at
    Qdoba for a free burrito, then those Gucci taco stands are going down"
     
    Tags:


  2. Alan Atwood

    Alan Atwood Guest

    TFF.........................

    Yes, critpro...he did lose a pile of weight, and no, it's nothing to
    be suspicious about. To paraphrase from a familiar commercial; what's
    he on? His bike.....a lot.

    Have a good off-season MJ.

    Alan

    [email protected] (DanSchmatz) wrote in message news:<[email protected]>...
    > The US anti doping Agency has reported that Mike Jones has accepted a 6 month
    > provisional suspension from all competition and training for testing positive
    > for having a body fat percentage over the  ten percent legal limit. This
    > positive test usually carries a 3 month mandatory suspension, but when
    > officials contacted Jones in his semi temporary permanent housing in boulder
    > colorado he stated that he was indeed Guilty of the charges and voluntarily
    > suspended himself for 6 months and in a unprecedented move, suspended himself
    > from all cycling training except "riding home late at night on a town bike".
    > When SoProJones finally caught up with Jones at the Qdoba Burrito joint, Jones
    > was more than happy to talk about his failing of the body fat test. "You see,
    > its not really my fault, cuz i was not aware that the pizza hut and Chipotle
    > burritos also contained lots of fat and shit". Jones assured us that he would
    > recover from this and come back lean and mean in the spring. "i mean, shit, its
    > not like i make a lance like salary, so my money is bound to run out sometime
    > soon, so i will be eating chuck Coyles (mikes landlord) bread and stuff out of
    > his fridge" Jones took much of the blame for the bad news but did attribute
    > some to the team, "you know, shit man, if I hadnt made so much prize money this
    > year i wouldnt have extra burrito money and i woujld be eating less, so in a
    > way its all the guys that made good money this year at races faults". "The only
    > good thing that could come out of this is I am planning on filing a class
    > action law suit for all athletes that get fat at these stupid burrito joints in
    > the off season, that is after i redeem my frequent buyer points on my Q card at
    > Qdoba for a free burrito, then those Gucci taco stands are going down"
     
  3. Chris Daggs

    Chris Daggs Guest

    [email protected] (DanSchmatz) wrote in message news:<[email protected]>...
    > The US anti doping Agency has reported that Mike Jones has accepted a 6 month
    > provisional suspension from all competition and training for testing positive
    > for having a body fat percentage over the  ten percent legal limit. This
    > positive test usually carries a 3 month mandatory suspension, but when
    > officials contacted Jones in his semi temporary permanent housing in boulder
    > colorado he stated that he was indeed Guilty of the charges and voluntarily
    > suspended himself for 6 months and in a unprecedented move, suspended himself
    > from all cycling training except "riding home late at night on a town bike".
    > When SoProJones finally caught up with Jones at the Qdoba Burrito joint, Jones
    > was more than happy to talk about his failing of the body fat test. "You see,
    > its not really my fault, cuz i was not aware that the pizza hut and Chipotle
    > burritos also contained lots of fat and shit". Jones assured us that he would
    > recover from this and come back lean and mean in the spring. "i mean, shit, its
    > not like i make a lance like salary, so my money is bound to run out sometime
    > soon, so i will be eating chuck Coyles (mikes landlord) bread and stuff out of
    > his fridge" Jones took much of the blame for the bad news but did attribute
    > some to the team, "you know, shit man, if I hadnt made so much prize money this
    > year i wouldnt have extra burrito money and i woujld be eating less, so in a
    > way its all the guys that made good money this year at races faults". "The only
    > good thing that could come out of this is I am planning on filing a class
    > action law suit for all athletes that get fat at these stupid burrito joints in
    > the off season, that is after i redeem my frequent buyer points on my Q card at
    > Qdoba for a free burrito, then those Gucci taco stands are going down"


    damn thats funny
     
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