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Robert J. Matter
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Story last updated at 7:53 a.m. Sunday, July 25, 2004
Lance gives 'Going Postal' new meaning
BY KEN BURGER
Of The Post and Courier Staff
Through wind, rain, hail, divorce, cancer and drunken German cycling
fans, Lance Armstrong is expected to deliver an unprecedented sixth Tour
de France championship to his fans, his sponsors and the world at large.
When he crosses the finish line today in Paris, Lance will become one of
the most celebrated athletes in the world. You know this because he has
entered that ethereal world where celebrity is known by a single name.
And yet we here in America can only wonder how such an athlete came to be.
He is, after all, from Texas, a place where men are men and bicycles and
little boys part company pretty early in life.
Yet from this cauldron of college football and cowboys came this
remarkable man whose determination and drive makes bull-riding look sissy.
To win this 23-day marathon that covers 2,106 miles is to conquer the
kind of physical and emotional demons most of us will never know.
To do so once is a milestone these competitors live and seem willing to
die for. So imagine the sacrifice and strength it takes to do it six
straight times.
ROAD KILL
But as we celebrate his victory today, it is only right that we put this
feat in perspective. Our perspective.
If it were not for Lance, the Tour de France would remain background
noise for most Americans. It's just not a mainstream sport along Main
Street, USA.
That's because Main Street, USA, has no bike paths.
I recently returned from a vacation swing through France and Sweden and
Germany where bicycling is a way of life. In Sweden, for instance, the
sidewalks are clearly marked, half for pedestrians and half for cyclists.
In other countries biking is not just recreation, it's transportation.
Somehow we missed that evolutionary step. We went directly from horse
and buggy to interstate highway and ran over anything in the way.
We systematically ignored all modes of travel that did not involve the
combustible or jet engine, thus creating a society that exists only in
the fast lane.
Unapologetically, we zoomed to the moon and back and widened every
highway in between.
So the mere fact that Lance somehow found a road to ride on without
becoming road kill makes his story even more unbelievable.
GOING POSTAL
But there he is, leading the pack, pedaling his way to victory,
spreading the word that "Going Postal" is no longer a bad thing.
With the U.S. Postal Service spending $25 million to promote itself on
Lance's shirt, you have to wonder what they hope to gain.
Surely Ben Franklin never envisioned having to compete with FedEx and
UPS when he conjured up our postal system. Then again, he probably never
thought we would use electricity to power a remote control TV to watch a
bicycle race on another continent.
All I know is we should all be extremely proud of Lance and what he has
done to the French. After all, they haven't won their own bicycle race
since 1985 and seem to have surrendered again.
So when Lance crosses that finish line today, I suggest all Americans
celebrate this moment by buying a stamp, licking it and mailing
something to a friend.
Hopefully, it will arrive at its destination in less than 23 days.
Ken Burger can be reached at [email protected] or 937-5598.
Story last updated at 7:53 a.m. Sunday, July 25, 2004
Lance gives 'Going Postal' new meaning
BY KEN BURGER
Of The Post and Courier Staff
Through wind, rain, hail, divorce, cancer and drunken German cycling
fans, Lance Armstrong is expected to deliver an unprecedented sixth Tour
de France championship to his fans, his sponsors and the world at large.
When he crosses the finish line today in Paris, Lance will become one of
the most celebrated athletes in the world. You know this because he has
entered that ethereal world where celebrity is known by a single name.
And yet we here in America can only wonder how such an athlete came to be.
He is, after all, from Texas, a place where men are men and bicycles and
little boys part company pretty early in life.
Yet from this cauldron of college football and cowboys came this
remarkable man whose determination and drive makes bull-riding look sissy.
To win this 23-day marathon that covers 2,106 miles is to conquer the
kind of physical and emotional demons most of us will never know.
To do so once is a milestone these competitors live and seem willing to
die for. So imagine the sacrifice and strength it takes to do it six
straight times.
ROAD KILL
But as we celebrate his victory today, it is only right that we put this
feat in perspective. Our perspective.
If it were not for Lance, the Tour de France would remain background
noise for most Americans. It's just not a mainstream sport along Main
Street, USA.
That's because Main Street, USA, has no bike paths.
I recently returned from a vacation swing through France and Sweden and
Germany where bicycling is a way of life. In Sweden, for instance, the
sidewalks are clearly marked, half for pedestrians and half for cyclists.
In other countries biking is not just recreation, it's transportation.
Somehow we missed that evolutionary step. We went directly from horse
and buggy to interstate highway and ran over anything in the way.
We systematically ignored all modes of travel that did not involve the
combustible or jet engine, thus creating a society that exists only in
the fast lane.
Unapologetically, we zoomed to the moon and back and widened every
highway in between.
So the mere fact that Lance somehow found a road to ride on without
becoming road kill makes his story even more unbelievable.
GOING POSTAL
But there he is, leading the pack, pedaling his way to victory,
spreading the word that "Going Postal" is no longer a bad thing.
With the U.S. Postal Service spending $25 million to promote itself on
Lance's shirt, you have to wonder what they hope to gain.
Surely Ben Franklin never envisioned having to compete with FedEx and
UPS when he conjured up our postal system. Then again, he probably never
thought we would use electricity to power a remote control TV to watch a
bicycle race on another continent.
All I know is we should all be extremely proud of Lance and what he has
done to the French. After all, they haven't won their own bicycle race
since 1985 and seem to have surrendered again.
So when Lance crosses that finish line today, I suggest all Americans
celebrate this moment by buying a stamp, licking it and mailing
something to a friend.
Hopefully, it will arrive at its destination in less than 23 days.
Ken Burger can be reached at [email protected] or 937-5598.