Lethal tree - chop 'em all down!!

Bl**dy trees now. It's bad enough bl**dy cyclists on the roads, not paying their road tax and all of
that - bl**dy Lycra louts. Now the trees are getting in the way of cars.

See <http://www.teletext.co.uk/news/story.asp?intArticleID=52587&intarticlenum
ber=9&intRegionID=1&intSubsectionID=1&From=I&indent=30>

The link is probably temporary, so the full text is below.

"PLEA TO REMOVE DEATH CRASH TREE A plea has been made to remove a tree from a Suffolk roadside after
it was involved in a second fatal accident.

James Barnes, 20, of Kelsale, was killed when his car left the B1119 road at Knoddishall and
struck the tree.

In 2001, Marcia Whenman of Leiston died after hitting the same tree. Her family raised concerns
after her crash and are reiterating their worries again.

RECEIVED: 24/04/2003 16:15:20 "

Whilst I feel for the families and friends of those who have lost their lives, one has to wonder
about the implication of some sort of devil tree taking over the minds of poor motorists, causing
them to collide with the tree ... Perhaps the trees generate electromagnetic fields strong enough to
attract the cars off the roads and into the tree???

Cheers, helen s


~~~~~~~~~~
Flush out that intestinal parasite and/or the waste product before sending a reply!

Any speeliong mistake$ aR the resiult of my cats sitting on the keyboaRRRDdd
~~~~~~~~~~

 

"wafflycathcsdirtycatlitter" <[email protected]> wrote

> James Barnes, 20, of Kelsale, was killed when his car left the B1119 road
at
> Knoddishall and struck the tree.

So the car managed to that all by itself? Perhaps the tree is magnetic.

David Roberts

 

On 24 Apr 2003 20:32:57 GMT, [email protected] (wafflycathcsdirtycatlitter) wrote:

>PLEA TO REMOVE DEATH CRASH TREE

Quite so. And while they're about it, buldoze all those houses and things which get in the way. The
only way to ensure safety for drivers with room-temperature IQs is to pave the entire country.

Guy
===
** WARNING ** This posting may contain traces of irony. http://www.chapmancentral.com (BT ADSL and
dynamic DNS permitting)
NOTE: BT Openworld have now blocked port 25 (without notice), so old mail addresses may no longer
work. Apologies.

 

In article <[email protected]>, one of infinite monkeys at the keyboard
of [email protected] (wafflycathcsdirtycatlitter) wrote:
> Bl**dy trees now. It's bad enough bl**dy cyclists on the roads, not paying their road tax and all
> of that - bl**dy Lycra louts. Now the trees are getting in the way of cars.

You have to see things from the tree's point of view - which goes back to a time when humans didn't
rush about so fast. I recommend Ursula LeGuin's short story on the subject, published in The Winds
Twelve Quarters.

--
Axis of Evil: Whose economy needs ever more wars? Arms Exports $bn: USA 14.2, UK 5.1, vs France 1.5,
Germany 0.8 (The Economist, July 2002)

 

wafflycathcsdirtycatlitter <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> Bl**dy trees now. It's bad enough bl**dy cyclists on the roads, not paying their road tax and all
> of that - bl**dy Lycra louts. Now the trees are
getting
> in the way of cars.
>
> See <http://www.teletext.co.uk/news/story.asp?intArticleID=52587&intarticlenum
> ber=9&intRegionID=1&intSubsectionID=1&From=I&indent=30>
>
> The link is probably temporary, so the full text is below.
>
> "PLEA TO REMOVE DEATH CRASH TREE A plea has been made to remove a tree from a Suffolk roadside
> after it was involved in a second fatal accident.
>
> James Barnes, 20, of Kelsale, was killed when his car left the B1119 road
at
> Knoddishall and struck the tree.
>
> In 2001, Marcia Whenman of Leiston died after hitting the same tree. Her
family
> raised concerns after her crash and are reiterating their worries again.

I know that tree.....honest!

It's only a few hundred yards from my house. The road it's on is a mad 3 miles (Saxmundham to
Leiston) with nice bends, good visibilty, and people do tend to drive along it very fast. Lose it on
one of the bends and the tree is right in line to prevent you going into the field. Cars in ditches
are a regular sight, fortunately cars impaled in the tree, rarer.

Bill

 

>Lose it on one of the bends and the tree is right in line to prevent you going into the field.

How dare it grow there!

Cheers, helen s

~~~~~~~~~~
Flush out that intestinal parasite and/or the waste product before sending a reply!

Any speeliong mistake$ aR the resiult of my cats sitting on the keyboaRRRDdd
~~~~~~~~~~

 

On 24-Apr-2003, [email protected] (wafflycathcsdirtycatlitter) wrote:

> A plea has been made to remove a tree from a Suffolk roadside after it was involved in a second
> fatal accident.
>
> James Barnes, 20, of Kelsale, was killed when his car left the B1119 road at Knoddishall and
> struck the tree.

Obviously we shouldn't forget the pain this young mans family is feeling and I'm not one to talk. As
a 17 year old who had just passed my test I "lost it" going round a bend far too fast and (purely by
luck) managed to land, facing backwards, in a ditch between two trees. Given that the gap between
the trees was only a few inches wider than my car and that I wasn't wearing a seatbelt I'd have to
say that I was extremely lucky to walk away without a scratch.

But all that aside, you have to marvel at the use of language here. The tree was "involved" in an
accident when a car "left the road" sounds so much better than a driver loosing control and
hitting a tree.

Andy

 

<[email protected]> wrote in message news:[email protected]...

> Obviously we shouldn't forget the pain this young mans family is feeling
and
> I'm not one to talk. As a 17 year old who had just passed my test I "lost it" going round a bend
> far too fast and (purely by luck) managed to land, facing backwards, in a ditch between two trees.
> Given that the gap between the trees was only a few inches wider than my car and that I wasn't
wearing
> a seatbelt I'd have to say that I was extremely lucky to walk away without
a
> scratch.

Agreed. My own 'learning experience' invovled 360ing my Mum's car on a busy suburban roundabout in a
shopping area with cars parked round part of the roundabout, pedestrians milling etc. during
virtually my first solo drive. Somehow (don't ask me how, I was along for the ride) I missed
everyone and everything, ended up shaken, chasened and a little wiser pointing in about the right
direction with several cars stopped around me looking concerned and somewhat relieved. The
pedestrians had dived for cover!!

Years later I found that Mum had been told of the 'incident' fairly soon after but had decided I had
had enough of a lesson and that a full scall bollocking would nopt add to it.

> But all that aside, you have to marvel at the use of language here. The
tree
> was "involved" in an accident when a car "left the road" sounds so much better than a driver
> loosing control and hitting a tree.

Its the Pr*t Sm*th principle. The tree was bored so lost concentration. If it had been
travelling a sillyspeed it would obviously have been aware of its surroundings and could have
taken avoiding action

T

 

In a brief moment of lucidity wafflycathcsdirtycatlitter scribbled:

> Bl**dy trees now. It's bad enough bl**dy cyclists on the roads, not paying their road tax and all
> of that - bl**dy Lycra louts. Now the trees are getting in the way of cars.
>
> See
>
<http://www.teletext.co.uk/news/story.asp?intArticleID=52587&intarticlen um
> ber=9&intRegionID=1&intSubsectionID=1&From=I&indent=30>
>
> The link is probably temporary, so the full text is below.
>
> "PLEA TO REMOVE DEATH CRASH TREE A plea has been made to remove a tree from a Suffolk roadside
> after it was involved in a second fatal accident.

How the hell was a tree 'involved' in the 'accident' ?

Seems to me that some pillock simply drove too fast and lost it. The tree happened to be in the
way. What would they have done if the tree had been another car, full of passengers, coming the
other way ?

I must admit to failing to see the logic in removing something which isn't even on the road. If a
driver loses it on a bend, or anywhere else for that matter, tough. They ought to have driven with
due regard .. To remove the tree may even say to other, more misguided, drivers that the removal of
the tree somehow condones their 'need for speed' ..

--

Completed 1600 Seti work units in 12244 hours http://setiathome.ssl.berkeley.edu/

 

In article <[email protected]>, [email protected] says...
> Bl**dy trees now. It's bad enough bl**dy cyclists on the roads, not paying their road tax and all
> of that - bl**dy Lycra louts. Now the trees are getting in the way of cars.
>
> See <http://www.teletext.co.uk/news/story.asp?intArticleID=52587&intarticlenum
> ber=9&intRegionID=1&intSubsectionID=1&From=I&indent=30>
>
> The link is probably temporary, so the full text is below.
>
> "PLEA TO REMOVE DEATH CRASH TREE A plea has been made to remove a tree from a Suffolk roadside
> after it was involved in a second fatal accident.["]

Actively?

> Whilst I feel for the families and friends of those who have lost their lives, one has to wonder
> about the implication of some sort of devil tree taking over the minds of poor motorists, causing
> them to collide with the tree ... Perhaps the trees generate electromagnetic fields strong enough
> to attract the cars off the roads and into the tree???

Indeed. There was a story a few months ago from France. A particular local council was calling for
the felling of whole avenues of trees because motorists were being killed when they hit them.

Colin

 

In article <[email protected]>, [email protected] says...
> In article <[email protected]>, one of infinite monkeys at the keyboard
> of [email protected] (wafflycathcsdirtycatlitter) wrote:
> > Bl**dy trees now. It's bad enough bl**dy cyclists on the roads, not paying their road tax and
> > all of that - bl**dy Lycra louts. Now the trees are getting in the way of cars.
>
> You have to see things from the tree's point of view - which goes back to a time when humans
> didn't rush about so fast. I recommend Ursula LeGuin's short story on the subject, published in
> The Winds Twelve Quarters.

Crikey, second LeGuin recommendation in a few minutes reading netnews.

Colin

 

wafflycathcsdirtycatlitter wrote:

>"PLEA TO REMOVE DEATH CRASH TREE A plea has been made to remove a tree from a Suffolk roadside
>after it was involved in a second fatal accident.
>
>James Barnes, 20, of Kelsale, was killed when his car left the B1119 road at Knoddishall and struck
>the tree.
>
>In 2001, Marcia Whenman of Leiston died after hitting the same tree. Her family raised concerns
>after her crash and are reiterating their worries again.

Let's try to re-write this report from the point of view of the hapless shrub.

MORONIC DRIVER INJURES INNOCENT TREE

A helpless tree was needlessly struck as it stood alone on a street corner. The 57 year old elm had
severe lacerations to its bark and lost nearly a pint of sap.

Since its germination in 1946 the tree has been immobile and subject to all manner of abuses,
including sparrows nesting in its branches and woodpeckers attacking it for grubs. Twice it has
suffered the indignity of squirrels procreating in its lower boughs.

This is not the first such attack this tree has suffered. Just two years earlier it was subjected to
another unprovoked attack.

The council of elder elms have long called for tree protection cameras to be installed on this
stretch of road to prevent such attacks. But other campaigners, such as Paul Smith, believe drivers
have a constitutional right to attack innocent trees.

Both attackers are now dead and the hapless tree is facing execution accused of their murder.
--
remove remove to reply

 

[email protected] (wafflycathcsdirtycatlitter) wrote in message
news:<[email protected]>...

> Bl**dy trees now. It's bad enough bl**dy cyclists on the roads, not paying their road tax and all
> of that - bl**dy Lycra louts. Now the trees are getting in the way of cars.

I imagine the tree was uninsured, didn't pay road tax, hadn't passed any sort of test, and wasn't
even in the cycle lane.

--
Dave...

 

Colin Blackburn <[email protected]> wrote:

> Indeed. There was a story a few months ago from France. A particular local council was calling for
> the felling of whole avenues of trees because motorists were being killed when they hit them.

It's a widespread campagin in France.

--
Marc Tabards, banners and signs for fundraising events and charities
http://www.jaceeprint.demon.co.uk/

 

Dave Kahn wrote:

> [email protected] (wafflycathcsdirtycatlitter) wrote in message
> news:<[email protected]>...
>
> > Bl**dy trees now. It's bad enough bl**dy cyclists on the roads, not paying their road tax and
> > all of that - bl**dy Lycra louts. Now the trees are getting in the way of cars.
>
> I imagine the tree was uninsured, didn't pay road tax, hadn't passed any sort of test, and wasn't
> even in the cycle lane.

If it was wearing a h*lm*t it was completely safe.

John B

 

Gonzalez <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:<[email protected]>...

> MORONIC DRIVER INJURES INNOCENT TREE

Heh! Quite.

 

[email protected] (wafflycathcsdirtycatlitter) writed in
news:[email protected]:

> Bl**dy trees now. It's bad enough bl**dy cyclists on the roads, not paying their road tax and all
> of that - bl**dy Lycra louts. Now the trees are getting in the way of cars.
>
> See <http://www.teletext.co.uk/news/story.asp?intArticleID=52587&intarticle num
> ber=9&intRegionID=1&intSubsectionID=1&From=I&indent=30>
>
> The link is probably temporary, so the full text is below.
>
> "PLEA TO REMOVE DEATH CRASH TREE A plea has been made to remove a tree from a Suffolk roadside
> after it was involved in a second fatal accident.
There was a radio 4 programme some months ago about a campaign building momentum in France to have
the traditional avenues of trees felled, because the trees are killing drivers. The fact is that the
trees are colliding with poor inocent moteurs who have only had a few pernods over a few, and need
to get home to madamoiselle as speedily as possible.

Bloody vegetation, gets everywhere!

 

>Bloody vegetation, gets everywhere!

Some had the nerve to get on to the plate I was going to eat my evening meal from!!

Cheers, helen s

~~~~~~~~~~
Flush out that intestinal parasite and/or the waste product before sending a reply!

Any speeliong mistake$ aR the resiult of my cats sitting on the keyboaRRRDdd
~~~~~~~~~~

 

In article <[email protected]>, one of infinite monkeys at the keyboard
of [email protected] (wafflycathcsdirtycatlitter) wrote:

> "PLEA TO REMOVE DEATH CRASH TREE A plea has been made to remove a tree from a Suffolk roadside
> after it was involved in a second fatal accident.

Reminds me of a story I heard a couple of years back. A council (somewhere in Kent IIRC) was moving
all its "street furniture" (streetlights, post boxes, etc) away from the roadward side of the
pavements, to make the pavements safer for the drivers who mount them at speed from time to time.

Just glad I don't live there ... things like streetlights have given me some kind of psychological
reassurance (protection from the cars) since I was a toddler. And if I wasn't fully able-bodied, or
was in charge of small sprogs, I'd be all the more glad of them in the right place.

--
Axis of Evil: Whose economy needs ever more wars? Arms Exports $bn: USA 14.2, UK 5.1, vs France 1.5,
Germany 0.8 (The Economist, July 2002)