Light bulb jokes

Here are a couple of lightbulb jokes:

How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?
That's not funny!

How many country singers does it take to change a lightbulb?
ten. One to actually change it and nine to write songs about the old one!

How many zen-masters does it take to change a lightbulb?
A tree in a golden forest.

How many Californians does it take to change a lightbulb?
three. One to change it, another to witness it, and a third to shoot the witness.

How many punks does it take to change a lightbulb?
Two. One to change it and the other to kick the chair out from under the first.

Alright, let's hear some more!!!

 

How many sorority girls does it take to change a lightbulb?
5...One to chair the committee to change the lightbulb, one to coordinate the location, one to get a fraternity to come help, one to make the t-shirt, and one to sleep with the fraternity boy who changed it.

How many men does it take to change a light bulb?
One...he holds the bulb still and lets the world revolve around him.

How many politicians does it take to change a light bulb?
Roughly 600, the projected completion date is Oct 2025.

 

Q: How many Help Desk workers does it take to change a light bulb?

A: PC Repair has received your mail concerning your hardware problem and has assigned your request Service Order Number 39712. Please use this number for any future reference to this case of trouble. As soon as a technician becomes available, you will be contacted.

***

Q: How many actors does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: Four...One to change the lightbulb while the other three stand around complaining how "It could have been me up there!"

 

How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?

How many can you afford?

 

LOL Especally on the lawyer one!!!

How many network marketers does it take to change a light bulb?

No one really knows but they keep on recruiting until they find one that will do it.

 

How many phychiatrists does it take to chang a light bulb?

One, but the light bulb has to want to change!

 

How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw the bulb in, two to discuss the violation of the socket, and two to secretly wish they were the socket.

 

How many Californians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Californians screw in hot tubs, not in light bulbs.

 

How many software engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None - that's a hardware problem.

 

I already posted this and others in the ADD thread - I would put them here but this site has a rule against cross-posting....

 

How many iranians does it take?
105 one to hold the bulb, four to turn the chair, and 100 to turn the house.

 

How many police officers does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and four to go out for donuts.

 

How many new mothers does it take to change a light bulb?

None - they don't make pampers that small.

 

How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb and the other to kick the chair out from under him.

 

How many terrorists does it take to change a light bulb?

100. One to change the bulb and 99 to hold the house hostage.

 

Did you hear about the light bulb that wone the lotto?

He bought himself a new socket.

Alternate ending

Of course not light bulbs don't play the lotto.

 

LOL just found another funny light bulb one. Kicking myself that I didn't think of it myself!!!!

posted by michael_legna vbmenu_register("postmenu_27005", true);

"How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to change a lightbulb ?

I Don't know - I didn't let them in to find out. "

found on
http://www.christiansonline.cc/forum/showthread.php?p=27637#post27637

also on the same thread

Mormons: Five. One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how to do it. by Darth_Bill
Latter Day Saints

 

Now THAT'S FUNNY!!

 

How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, but how they got in it remains a mystery.

 

What's the difference between a lightbulb and a pregnant woman?

You can unscrew a lightbulb.