Limerick for Lance

[cynic]

There once was a cyclist from Nantucket
Who one day was tired of losing and said f*** it
To Dr. Ferrari he went and said it was “orange juice” that he wanted, so give it
Ferrari said I know what you mean and can “bring the power like Scotty” if you need it
I don’t want to suck any more so whatever it takes I’ll do it
Starting in 1999, no more losing to the French, Spanish or Brits
I’ll beat them all with my higher hematocrit
In my urine they went searchin, the corticosteroid was for my sore I said - and they bought it
Later they wanted a reason for the Actovegin, road rash I said, and told them to stick it.
Seven times would I win, and L’Equipe would weep, no one could predict it.
EPO they would find, too little, too late, too bad they can’t use it
I am the cleanest of the clean I told the world, so believe it
Who knew that people would believe all my bull***t

 

[thebluetrain]

Not another LA thread. Limericks are only supposed to be 5 lines anyway. Next time get it right.

 

[cynic]

Not another LA thread. Limericks are only supposed to be 5 lines anyway. Next time get it right.

Yeah, I'm aware of the 5 line rule. I was going to call it a poem - but it sounded too gay, and besides I wanted to use Nantucket - Doesn't that always make it a limerick?

 

[bobke]

Yeah, I'm aware of the 5 line rule. I was going to call it a poem - but it sounded too gay, and besides I wanted to use Nantucket - Doesn't that always make it a limerick?

If you are going to write a limerick, make it correct.

There once was a cyclist named Lance,
who found some cancer in his pants,
He won Alpe d'Huez
Beat Jan and he sez
He'll do 8 if given the chance.

 

[thebluetrain]

If you are going to write a limerick, make it correct.

There once was a cyclist named Lance,
who found some cancer in his pants,
He won Alpe d'Huez
Beat Jan and he sez
He'll do 8 if given the chance.

Nice one bobke.

 

[Scotttri]

Nice one bobke.

Agreed!!

 

[jhuskey]

There once was man know as Lance
Who pedaled his way through France
And the legend is said
Twas seven years that he led
And the rest they had not a chance
But this is but part of the man
As he does more than most of us can
For those that are weak
He gives comfort to seek
Some chance through a simple wristband

Eat your heart out amateurs!

 

[thebluetrain]

There once was man know as Lance
Who pedaled his way through France
And the legend is said
Twas seven years that he led
And the rest they had not a chance
But this is but part of the man
As he does more than most of us can
For those that are weak
He gives comfort to seek
Some chance through a simple wristband

Eat your heart out amateurs!

Nice jhuskey, as I read that I kept waiting for a cheap shot at Armstrong.

 

[thebluetrain]

Agreed!!

Very nice avatar.

 

[TrekDedicated]

There once was a cyclist from Nantucket
Who one day was tired of losing and said f*** it
To Dr. Ferrari he went and said it was “orange juice” that he wanted, so give it
Ferrari said I know what you mean and can “bring the power like Scotty” if you need it
I don’t want to suck any more so whatever it takes I’ll do it
Starting in 1999, no more losing to the French, Spanish or Brits
I’ll beat them all with my higher hematocrit
In my urine they went searchin, the corticosteroid was for my sore I said - and they bought it
Later they wanted a reason for the Actovegin, road rash I said, and told them to stick it.
Seven times would I win, and L’Equipe would weep, no one could predict it.
EPO they would find, too little, too late, too bad they can’t use it
I am the cleanest of the clean I told the world, so believe it
Who knew that people would believe all my bull***t

you just got owned by JHus and Bobke

 

[cynic]

you just got own by JHus and Bobke

Maybe they are just proving that the last line is true.

 

[thebluetrain]

Maybe they are just proving that the last line is true.

Or maybe they are just better at writing limericks than you.

 

[cynic]

Or maybe they are just better at writing limericks than you.

Shouldn't limerickman be the judge.

 

[SaintAndrew]

lance armstrong's secret
haha it's not well-kept
EPO. '99

 

[thebluetrain]

Shouldn't limerickman be the judge.

No we dont need him screwing this up to.

 

[Bro Deal]

There once was a man named Pharmstrong
who doped more than Cheech 'n' Chong.
As he drugged his way,
he denied night and day
the dark cloud that followed along.


Yeah, I suck at recognizing metre.

 

[thebluetrain]

There once was a man named Pharmstrong
who doped more than Cheech 'n' Chong.
As he drugged his way,
he denied night and day
the dark cloud that followed along.


Yeah, I suck at recognizing metre.

Good one but it was off.

 

[Scotttri]

There once was man know as Lance
Who pedaled his way through France
And the legend is said
Twas seven years that he led
And the rest they had not a chance
But this is but part of the man
As he does more than most of us can
For those that are weak
He gives comfort to seek
Some chance through a simple wristband

Eat your heart out amateurs!

Nice one Jhuskey!!

 

[Bro Deal]

Good one but it was off.

I think I am tone deaf. I cannot sing and have never been able to hear the metre of poems very well. I am not planning on quitting my day job any time soon to become a poet.

 

[JAPANic]

Lance's secret for riding much faster.
Chop off a ball, do chemo, eat pasta,
Spend long rides on his bike.
You can say what you like...
Passing drug tests, he's certainly the Master!!!