Male patients and female doctors



C

Charles Jones

Guest
Wow, this post was met with *fabulous* silence the first time I put it out, on sci.med. Is there
something inane about my inquiry, which I'm not aware of, or is the topic just too uncomfortable?
Well, either way, I'm giving it a second try, and posting to misc.health.alternative and
soc.feminism this time, in addition to sci.med. Maybe I'll have better luck...

===============================

Some prolog, before I get to the main question... I am a man, mid-fourties. In the past I have
always seen male doctors. At this point in my life, I am starting to have a number of medical issues
that I have not experienced before -- some problems with high blood pressure, and rapid pulse, among
other things. I also have urinary frequency, and some sleep issues (long standing problems), and
muscle spasms in response to tension. I *also* have ongoing issues with depression and anxiety,
which are being treated (fairly effectively) with medication.

About eight months ago I had to switch health care plans, from an HMO to a preferred provider
organization, and I picked up a new doctor. He's a good man, but he seems a bit impatient at times
with my laundry list of ailments.

I would be the first to admit I worry about my health, and probably have a mild tendency towards
hypochondria. I am always respectful to doctors, but with all my worries I am sure I'm not the
easiest patient in the world. I am also a rather "touchy feely" kind of guy, very artsie, and need a
certain amount of emotional handholding. At the same time, the medical issues are very real -- there
is no question my blood pressure and pulse have increased a great deal in the past year or so -- and
need carefuly monitoring and treatment. (One of my concerns is that I think one of the medicines my
doctor put me on for the blood pressure issue may actually be causing the rapid pulse. This is based
on anecdotal accounts on the Internet, which the doctor does not seem to take seriously.)

So, that's the background. I have always seen male doctors in the past, because, frankly, if I'm
going to have someone check my private

a guy. But I think I need to find another doctor, and I am wondering if I would not be better off
with a woman. I have several questions, in no particular order of priority:

First, I have this expectation that female doctors might be better listeners, and might be more
patient with my various anxieties. But then again, that may be an unfounded bias, so I'd be
interested to hear from both patients and doctors (especially female doctors) about whether this
generalization is valid.

Second, I am curious how comfortable female doctors are with male patients, especially when it comes
to doing those kinds of exams which are necessary for males (I don't think I need to name them
here). Also, I am curious how comfortable female doctors are in discussing

Third, I would like to hear from men who have used female doctors. Have you found it to be a
comfortable experience? Do the female doctors seem comfortable working with you?

Thanks in advance for all replies, and any insights you can offer.

CJ
 
"Charles Jones" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> Wow, this post was met with *fabulous* silence the first time I put it out, on sci.med. Is there
> something inane about my inquiry, which I'm not aware of, or is the topic just too uncomfortable?
> Well, either way, I'm giving it a second try, and posting to misc.health.alternative and
> soc.feminism this time, in addition to sci.med. Maybe I'll have better luck...
>

Well, sorry, but yes, it's a pretty inane question.

There are good and bad male doctors, and there are good and bad female doctors. If you are
uncomfortable with your doctor find another one. If you worry that you might be uncomfortable with
female doctors, then find another male. It's a pretty simple situation, but my observation over the
years is that my partners who are female don't deal any differently (as a group) with needy patients
than my male partners.

HMc
 
Charles Jones writes:

> Second, I am curious how comfortable female doctors are with male patients, especially when it
> comes to doing those kinds of exams which are necessary for males (I don't think I need to name
> them here). Also, I am curious how comfortable female doctors are in discussing

It's kind of a false issue. The problems and considerations of opposite

which role. The only difference is that male doctors are usually consider much more suspect than
female doctors (and are statistically more likely to abuse, although that may in part be due to a
double standard of abuse to begin with). Male doctors have chaperones for female patients; I don't
believe the same is true for female doctors treating male patients (at least I was not chaperoned
when I've seen female doctors).

--
Transpose hotmail and mxsmanic in my e-mail address to reach me directly.
 
In article <[email protected]>,
Charles Jones <[email protected]> wrote:
>Wow, this post was met with *fabulous* silence the first time I put it out, on sci.med. Is there
>something inane about my inquiry, which I'm
(snip)

Same for my question about my scrotum. (-: No worries, I've not had an answer for decades, so I
don't expect to start now.

(snip)
>Second, I am curious how comfortable female doctors are with male patients, especially when it
>comes to doing those kinds of exams which are necessary for males (I don't think I need to name
>them here). Also, I am curious how comfortable female doctors are in discussing

Frankly, I suspect that they're quite used to it and it's just part of the job. Before long, you've
had so many conversations with so many

I can imagine that once I've seen my hundredth penis, accidentally erect or not, I'm finding them
pretty boring, frankly.

>Third, I would like to hear from men who have used female doctors. Have you found it to be a
>comfortable experience? Do the female doctors seem comfortable working with you?

Sure. Last time I had my bits looked it, it was by my female GP with her young female assistant.
When they were done they forgot to tell me when I could put them away, so they hung out a bit until
I asked if I could! But that was more amusing than anything, but maybe I use amusement as a way to
defuse possible embarrassment. But, yes, comfortable all around, as far as I could tell, although I
can't be sure that the younger assistant was entirely sure how to balance discretion with her
training need to take an interest in the exam.

>Thanks in advance for all replies, and any insights you can offer.

Although I expect, and have so far received, complete professionalism from doctors, I've noticed
that medicine isn't entirely gender-blind. For instance, when my wife was pregnant and having
nonstress tests in a shared room, if there was another mother-to-be in the room then the nurse would
object to male but not female guests sitting with patients. Of course, many hospitals putting
patients in shared rooms try to not mix gender in a room too.

In my wife having internal ob/gyn exams, they have always made a point to have male doctors
chaperoned, although she'd not have felt discomfited by a lone male doctor doing an exam if he were
acting professionally. I guess that malpractice insurance already costs plenty, though!

I'm unusually relaxed about this sort of thing, and quite aware that the guy in the locker room I'm
using might have just as much lust for me or embarrassment at seeing me as some woman who happened
to see me naked, so some of the gender-awareness seems a bit bizarre to me, but it's not as if I'm
typical. After all, quite a few guys even seem to have more difficulty urinating in the presence of
women instead of men, another thing that, while I don't understand, it would presumably still make
sense for me to respect if I were to design restroom facilities. Likewise, I expect protections
against possible discomfort to exceed what I actually need for my own comfort, but still there seems
to be no particular push to match doctor and patient genders for normal stuff (I conjecture that
rape kits, etc. are usually done by

-- Mark
 
The three previous posters answering your question are "real retarded". The bottom line is that you
don't worry it, or even think about it. At present 50+% of all physicians graduating are women. They
will all look at your balls, your weenie, and your rectal orifice with far more objectivity than you
have about the same structures.

Charles Jones wrote:
>
> Wow, this post was met with *fabulous* silence the first time I put it out, on sci.med. Is there
> something inane about my inquiry, which I'm not aware of, or is the topic just too uncomfortable?
> Well, either way, I'm giving it a second try, and posting to misc.health.alternative and
> soc.feminism this time, in addition to sci.med. Maybe I'll have better luck...
>
> ===============================
>
> Some prolog, before I get to the main question... I am a man, mid-fourties. In the past I have
> always seen male doctors. At this point in my life, I am starting to have a number of medical
> issues that I have not experienced before -- some problems with high blood pressure, and rapid
> pulse, among other things. I also have urinary frequency, and some sleep issues (long standing
> problems), and muscle spasms in response to tension. I *also* have ongoing issues with depression
> and anxiety, which are being treated (fairly effectively) with medication.
>
> About eight months ago I had to switch health care plans, from an HMO to a preferred provider
> organization, and I picked up a new doctor. He's a good man, but he seems a bit impatient at times
> with my laundry list of ailments.
>
> I would be the first to admit I worry about my health, and probably have a mild tendency towards
> hypochondria. I am always respectful to doctors, but with all my worries I am sure I'm not the
> easiest patient in the world. I am also a rather "touchy feely" kind of guy, very artsie, and need
> a certain amount of emotional handholding. At the same time, the medical issues are very real --
> there is no question my blood pressure and pulse have increased a great deal in the past year or
> so -- and need carefuly monitoring and treatment. (One of my concerns is that I think one of the
> medicines my doctor put me on for the blood pressure issue may actually be causing the rapid
> pulse. This is based on anecdotal accounts on the Internet, which the doctor does not seem to take
> seriously.)
>
> So, that's the background. I have always seen male doctors in the past, because, frankly, if I'm
> going to have someone check my private

> a guy. But I think I need to find another doctor, and I am wondering if I would not be better off
> with a woman. I have several questions, in no particular order of priority:
>
> First, I have this expectation that female doctors might be better listeners, and might be more
> patient with my various anxieties. But then again, that may be an unfounded bias, so I'd be
> interested to hear from both patients and doctors (especially female doctors) about whether this
> generalization is valid.
>
> Second, I am curious how comfortable female doctors are with male patients, especially when it
> comes to doing those kinds of exams which are necessary for males (I don't think I need to name
> them here). Also, I am curious how comfortable female doctors are in discussing

>
> Third, I would like to hear from men who have used female doctors. Have you found it to be a
> comfortable experience? Do the female doctors seem comfortable working with you?
>
> Thanks in advance for all replies, and any insights you can offer.
>
> CJ
 
The three previous posters answering your question are "real retarded". The bottom line is that you
don't worry it, or even think about it. At present 50+% of all physicians graduating are women. They
will all look at your balls, your weenie, and your rectal orifice with far more objectivity than you
have about the same structures.

Charles Jones wrote:
>
> Wow, this post was met with *fabulous* silence the first time I put it out, on sci.med. Is there
> something inane about my inquiry, which I'm not aware of, or is the topic just too uncomfortable?
> Well, either way, I'm giving it a second try, and posting to misc.health.alternative and
> soc.feminism this time, in addition to sci.med. Maybe I'll have better luck...
>
> ===============================
>
> Some prolog, before I get to the main question... I am a man, mid-fourties. In the past I have
> always seen male doctors. At this point in my life, I am starting to have a number of medical
> issues that I have not experienced before -- some problems with high blood pressure, and rapid
> pulse, among other things. I also have urinary frequency, and some sleep issues (long standing
> problems), and muscle spasms in response to tension. I *also* have ongoing issues with depression
> and anxiety, which are being treated (fairly effectively) with medication.
>
> About eight months ago I had to switch health care plans, from an HMO to a preferred provider
> organization, and I picked up a new doctor. He's a good man, but he seems a bit impatient at times
> with my laundry list of ailments.
>
> I would be the first to admit I worry about my health, and probably have a mild tendency towards
> hypochondria. I am always respectful to doctors, but with all my worries I am sure I'm not the
> easiest patient in the world. I am also a rather "touchy feely" kind of guy, very artsie, and need
> a certain amount of emotional handholding. At the same time, the medical issues are very real --
> there is no question my blood pressure and pulse have increased a great deal in the past year or
> so -- and need carefuly monitoring and treatment. (One of my concerns is that I think one of the
> medicines my doctor put me on for the blood pressure issue may actually be causing the rapid
> pulse. This is based on anecdotal accounts on the Internet, which the doctor does not seem to take
> seriously.)
>
> So, that's the background. I have always seen male doctors in the past, because, frankly, if I'm
> going to have someone check my private

> a guy. But I think I need to find another doctor, and I am wondering if I would not be better off
> with a woman. I have several questions, in no particular order of priority:
>
> First, I have this expectation that female doctors might be better listeners, and might be more
> patient with my various anxieties. But then again, that may be an unfounded bias, so I'd be
> interested to hear from both patients and doctors (especially female doctors) about whether this
> generalization is valid.
>
> Second, I am curious how comfortable female doctors are with male patients, especially when it
> comes to doing those kinds of exams which are necessary for males (I don't think I need to name
> them here). Also, I am curious how comfortable female doctors are in discussing

>
> Third, I would like to hear from men who have used female doctors. Have you found it to be a
> comfortable experience? Do the female doctors seem comfortable working with you?
>
> Thanks in advance for all replies, and any insights you can offer.
>
> CJ
 
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