Man admits to sex with bike

[earth_dweller]

Man admits to sex with bike

A man who admitted having sex with a bicycle in a Scottish hotel has been placed on the sex offenders' register for breach of the peace.

Robert Stewart admitted to the crime Friday in Ayr Sheriff Court and is to be sentenced next month, Britain's Telegraph reported Saturday.

Stewart was discovered last October by two maids who entered to clean his room during a stay at the Aberley House Hostel in Ayr, Scotland.

The accused was holding the bike and moving his hips back and forth as if to simulate sex, a sheriff's spokesman told the court. The shocked witnesses told the hotel manager who told the police.

Stewart, according to the Telegraph, is not the first person convicted of sex with an inanimate object. In 1993, Kar Watkins, an electrician, was arrested for having sex with pavements in Redditch, England.

So was it a fixie, road bike, or mountain bike?

 

[Cobblestones]

Man admits to sex with bike
So was it a fixie, road bike, or mountain bike?

Oiled spokes, lubed axles, inflated inner tubes, polished frame: let's go on a ride.

 

[DiabloScott]

has been placed on the sex offenders' register for breach of the peace.

Is there really a law against this in Scotland?

Breach of peace maybe means it was loud sex that disturbed the other guests, but why would that put him on a sex offenders registry?

 

[thoughtforfood]

Is there really a law against this in Scotland?

Breach of peace maybe means it was loud sex that disturbed the other guests, but why would that put him on a sex offenders registry?

There was a Cannondale add in the mid '90's that ran in a bicycle trade publication that read "a ride so sweet, sometimes I take off the seat and ride the post home" To say the least, it didn't run again, but we laughed about that for months.

I will also say that my Ibis always has been a little ****. I would consider sticking it in the new Reynolds 953 too, steel just makes me horny. I also remember this Ritchey Road Logic in the early 90's that gave me a stiffy, not to mention the P-21. Anybody happen to know where there is an 18" P-21 for rescue? I would seriously love to get my hands on one. I have looked for one for a couple of years to no avail.

 

[thoughtforfood]

And my Brew, don't even get me started on her!

 

[earth_dweller]

Got to say that I do get um hot & bothered when I see a Vanilla bike

 

[thoughtforfood]

Oh she is a nasty one isn't she? Twin downtube...

 

[Gregers]

So now we know who Flyer was and what he's been up to.

 

[jhuskey]

So now we know who Flyer was and what he's been up to.

No wasn't him. He complained that the chain chipped his teeth.
I am going to hell for that one!

 

[Bro Deal]

I'd hit it--if it cleaned itself up and replaced that gross Shimano with Record.

 

[Crankyfeet]

Is there really a law against this in Scotland?

Breach of peace maybe means it was loud sex that disturbed the other guests, but why would that put him on a sex offenders registry?

I think he was having an illicit affair in the hotel with his best friend's bike. That's what did him in. The bike screamed "Rape!!!" when the door opened.

But as far as I'm concerned, there's nothing wrong with having sex with your bicycle. As long as its consensual. There's little risk of disease. And I thought that's what we all did. Its the only explanation I could come up with as to why we're all here posting on a Friday and Saturday night.

But if ever I was going to commit bike adultery, it would be with this Princess.

 

[Gregers]

Wrong gender Crank, you know perfectly well it's a Prince. I know what your game is, though-you're covering up. Why don't you be honest and just come out. You know it will make you feel so much better.

I think he was having an illicit affair in the hotel with his best friend's bike. That's what did him in. The bike screamed "Rape!!!" when the door opened.

But as far as I'm concerned, there's nothing wrong with having sex with your bicycle. As long as its consensual. There's little risk of disease. And I thought that's what we all did. Its the only explanation I could come up with as to why we're all here posting on a Friday and Saturday night.

But if ever I was going to commit bike adultery, it would be with this Princess.

 

[Crankyfeet]

Wrong gender Crank, you know perfectly well it's a Prince. I know what your game is, though-you're covering up. Why don't you be honest and just come out. You know it will make you feel so much better.

No, I just have some black electrician's tape wrapped around the downtube which obscures the "ESS".

OK.. IT's TRUE Gregers, I'm a homocyclosexual everyone.

I"M A HOMOCYCLOSEXUAL!!!

I'm feeling better already.

 

[janiejones]

This is a joke, the man was in his room.

 

[earth_dweller]

The most important aspect of selecting a new bike is achieving the right fit - this guy was just making sure that his bike fit really well, checking all the positions

 

[Gregers]

I think that I'm gonna convert and be one too.

No, I just have some black electrician's tape wrapped around the downtube which obscures the "ESS".

OK.. IT's TRUE Gregers, I'm a homocyclosexual everyone.

I"M A HOMOCYCLOSEXUAL!!!

I'm feeling better already.

 

[Farmguy]

Is there really a law against this in Scotland?

Breach of peace maybe means it was loud sex that disturbed the other guests, but why would that put him on a sex offenders registry?

Loud sex might mean poor lubraction, shame on him.


Tri-flow or WD-40?

 

[janiejones]

I'd hit it--if it cleaned itself up and replaced that gross Shimano with Record.

What are those joints on the seat tube - it looks like it's made out of bamboo!
Maybe it's Gilligan's bike...

 

[Bro Deal]

What are those joints on the seat tube - it looks like it's made out of bamboo!

It is made out of bamboo.

 

[janiejones]

It is made out of bamboo.

Well, there you go - that's probably why I thought it looked that way...I'll just go away now feeling a little silly...