I'll miss Martha. I love strong women. She'll probably be gone 2 years at the most or less. Unless there will be a legal upset which can be pulled off with her money. Unfortunately the lynch mob wants blood. I wonder if she does go to jail, if she'll be the Cooker - Or the Cookie Gosh. I can just see this 400 pound woman greet her. "Hi toots! Wanna check out my Pot Au Feu?" Steve Buffering... _69%_ |||||||||||||||||||
Maybe she'll do a "Cooking from The Slammer" series and focus on what you can make with things that are smuggled in, plus other things. Maybe show how certain food items can be heated up by placing atop a light bulb, or keeping things cold by enclosing them in a zip lock bag and placing them in the toilet water. And then ideas on how to dress up your cell, stuff like that. We'll see... Mark
>Maybe show how certain food items can be heated up by >placing atop a light bulb, or keeping things cold by >enclosing them in a zip lock bag and placing them in the >toilet water. And then ideas on how to You won't get those columns until Heloise is sent up.
x-no-archive: yes At eGullet, Anthony Bourdain has posted at least one article on prison cuisine by "Sam," an incarcerated chef: http://www.egullet.com/?pg=ARTICLE-sam062303 Naomi D.
On Sun, 14 Mar 2004 18:02:55 GMT, Steve Ritter <[email protected]> wrote: > I wonder if she does go to jail, if she'll be the Cooker - > Or the Cookie > > Gosh. I can just see this 400 pound woman greet her. "Hi > toots! Wanna check out my Pot Au Feu?" They'll treat a celebrity (with a good lawyer) by the books and protect them. They will mess with her head as often as possible though. Ciao, Martha. -sw
On Sun, 14 Mar 2004 13:14:26 -0500, FERRANTE <[email protected]> wrote: >Maybe she'll do a "Cooking from The Slammer" series and >focus on what you can make with things that are smuggled >in, plus other things. Maybe show how certain food items >can be heated up by placing atop a light bulb, or keeping >things cold by enclosing them in a zip lock bag and placing >them in the toilet water. And then ideas on how to dress up >your cell, stuff like that. How to light a cigarette from an electrical outlet. How to keep smoldering toilet paper lit for several hours (for lighting cigarettes). How to give haircuts with BIC razor blades. How to make shanks from pieces of your locker. And of course, seasonal prunos. -sw
WardNA wrote: > >Maybe show how certain food items can be heated up by > >placing atop a light bulb, or keeping things cold by > >enclosing them in a zip lock bag and placing them in the > >toilet water. And then ideas on how to > > You won't get those columns until Heloise is sent up. There's a good idea! Now that we've got a mob going, why stop with Martha? Now that I think about, I'd much rather send Donna Dewberry to the slammer. I'm sick to death of seeing her One-StrokeTM painting shows on PBS, occupying air time that could be used to show something more entertaining like Rick Bayless frying hamburgers at Burger King.
In article <[email protected]>, Steve Ritter <[email protected]> wrote: > I'll miss Martha. I love strong women. Stay tuned for Rebecca Kolls. -- -Barb, <www.jamlady.eboard.com> updated 3-13-04. Rec.food.cooking's Preserved Fruit Administrator (I've got the button to prove it!) "The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth of the hole."
On Sun, 14 Mar 2004 13:02:22 -0600, Steve Wertz <[email protected]> Interjected.. : > On Sun, 14 Mar 2004 18:02:55 GMT, Steve Ritter > <[email protected]> wrote: > > > I wonder if she does go to jail, if she'll be the Cooker > > - Or the Cookie > > > > Gosh. I can just see this 400 pound woman greet her. "Hi > > toots! Wanna check out my Pot Au Feu?" > > They'll treat a celebrity (with a good lawyer) by the > books and protect them. They will mess with her head as > often as possible though. > > Ciao, Martha. -sw She messed with a LOT of heads in her career. Of course, she was messed with as well, mostly as a child. Seen her mother? Talk about mindfugg. She deserves a little bit. But I still lust for her. Wonder if they'd let me bring her some Foie Gras, and some of those bow tie pastas lined up like lil' soldiers on a long plate with a creamy truffle sauce. (In a private cell.) Oh Martha! Why have you forsaken me!!?? Steve Buffering... _69%_ |||||||||||||||||||
Melba's Jammin' <[email protected]> writes: > In article <[email protected]>, > Steve Ritter <[email protected]> wrote: > > > I'll miss Martha. I love strong women. > > Stay tuned for Rebecca Kolls. Who, when she was a regular on the KARE-11 news, I always thought she looked a lot like Martha anyways... -- Richard W Kaszeta [email protected] http://www.kaszeta.org/rich
"Mark Thorson" wrote: > Now that I think about, I'd much rather send Donna > Dewberry to the slammer. I'm sick to death of seeing her > One-StrokeTM painting shows on PBS, occupying air time > that could be used to show something more entertaining > like Rick Bayless frying hamburgers at Burger King. Cool! Could the technique transfer to jailhouse tats?
Maybe HBO can do a "female" version of OZ and Martha can be the equivalent to Adabessi. You do remember him, don't you?? Who can we get to play the female Minister Siad? Oprah could be the warden. I hear she is not too nice when the cameras aren't pointed at her. Mark Ferrante
On Sun, 14 Mar 2004 14:17:21 -0600, Melba's Jammin' <[email protected]> Interjected.. : > In article <[email protected]>, > Steve Ritter <[email protected]> wrote: > > > I'll miss Martha. I love strong women. > > Stay tuned for Rebecca Kolls. Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee... You made a funny Steve Buffering... _69%_ |||||||||||||||||||
Steve Ritter wrote: > I'll miss Martha. I will miss her about as much as I miss having ingrown toenails. -- John Gaughan http://www.johngaughan.net/ [email protected]
In article <[email protected]>, Richard Kaszeta <[email protected]> wrote: > Melba's Jammin' <[email protected]> writes: > > > In article <[email protected]>, > > Steve Ritter <[email protected]> wrote: > > > > > I'll miss Martha. I love strong women. > > > > Stay tuned for Rebecca Kolls. > > Who, when she was a regular on the KARE-11 news, I always > thought she looked a lot like Martha anyways... She's been positioning herself for greatness for a number of years. Now is her time to move. CJ had something about it in her Strib column within the last two days -- might even have been today's paper. (waves) Hi, Rich. -- -Barb, <www.jamlady.eboard.com> updated 3-13-04. Rec.food.cooking's Preserved Fruit Administrator (I've got the button to prove it!) "The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth of the hole."
"Steve Ritter" <[email protected]> wrote in message news:[email protected]... > > I'll miss Martha. I love strong women. > > She'll probably be gone 2 years at the most or less. > Unless there will be a legal upset which can be > pulled off with her money. Unfortunately the lynch > mob wants blood. > > I wonder if she does go to jail, if she'll be the Cooker > - Or the Cookie > > Gosh. I can just see this 400 pound woman greet her. "Hi > toots! Wanna check out my Pot Au Feu?" Yeah, like she's gonna be locked up in Chino with the Women of Cellblock H.
On Sun, 14 Mar 2004 13:07:00 -0600, Steve Wertz <[email protected]> had to open a new box of zerones to say: >On Sun, 14 Mar 2004 13:14:26 -0500, FERRANTE ><[email protected]> wrote: > >>Maybe she'll do a "Cooking from The Slammer" series and >>focus on what you can make with things that are smuggled >>in, plus other things. Maybe show how certain food items >>can be heated up by placing atop a light bulb, or keeping >>things cold by enclosing them in a zip lock bag and >>placing them in the toilet water. And then ideas on how to >>dress up your cell, stuff like that. > >How to light a cigarette from an electrical outlet. How to >keep smoldering toilet paper lit for several hours (for >lighting cigarettes). How to give haircuts with BIC razor >blades. How to make shanks from pieces of your locker. And >of course, seasonal prunos. > >-sw Damn, Steve, howd'ya discover all that good stuff...? <! -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- > zenit
On 15 Mar 2004 20:48:49 GMT, zenit <[email protected]> Interjected.. : > On Sun, 14 Mar 2004 13:07:00 -0600, Steve Wertz > <[email protected]> had to open a new box of > zerones to say: > > >On Sun, 14 Mar 2004 13:14:26 -0500, FERRANTE > ><[email protected]> wrote: > > > >>Maybe she'll do a "Cooking from The Slammer" series and > >>focus on what you can make with things that are smuggled > >>in, plus other things. Maybe show how certain food items > >>can be heated up by placing atop a light bulb, or > >>keeping things cold by enclosing them in a zip lock bag > >>and placing them in the toilet water. And then ideas on > >>how to dress up your cell, stuff like that. > > > >How to light a cigarette from an electrical outlet. How > >to keep smoldering toilet paper lit for several hours > >(for lighting cigarettes). How to give haircuts with BIC > >razor blades. How to make shanks from pieces of your > >locker. And of course, seasonal prunos. > > > >-sw > > Damn, Steve, howd'ya discover all that good stuff...? > > <! -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- > zenit Only one way possible. Experience. Hee hee. Steve Buffering... _69%_ |||||||||||||||||||
On Tue, 16 Mar 2004 01:36:08 GMT, Steve Ritter <[email protected]> wrote: >On 15 Mar 2004 20:48:49 GMT, zenit <[email protected]> >Interjected.. : > >> On Sun, 14 Mar 2004 13:07:00 -0600, Steve Wertz >> <[email protected]> had to open a new box >> of zerones to say: >> >> >On Sun, 14 Mar 2004 13:14:26 -0500, FERRANTE >> ><[email protected]> wrote: >> > >> >>Maybe she'll do a "Cooking from The Slammer" series and >> >>focus on what you can make with things that are >> >>smuggled in, plus other things. Maybe show how certain >> >>food items can be heated up by placing atop a light >> >>bulb, or keeping things cold by enclosing them in a zip >> >>lock bag and placing them in the toilet water. And then >> >>ideas on how to dress up your cell, stuff like that. >> > >> >How to light a cigarette from an electrical outlet. How >> >to keep smoldering toilet paper lit for several hours >> >(for lighting cigarettes). How to give haircuts with BIC >> >razor blades. How to make shanks from pieces of your >> >locker. And of course, seasonal prunos. >> >> Damn, Steve, howd'ya discover all that good >> stuff...? zenit > > > Only one way possible. Experience. Hee hee. Worked in a prison for a couple years. No, I wasn't making license plates (they don't let me near metal objects). -sw
