Martha - I'll miss you.



S

Steve Ritter

Guest
I'll miss Martha. I love strong women.

She'll probably be gone 2 years at the most or less. Unless
there will be a legal upset which can be pulled off with
her money. Unfortunately the lynch mob wants blood.

I wonder if she does go to jail, if she'll be the Cooker -
Or the Cookie:)

Gosh. I can just see this 400 pound woman greet her. "Hi
toots! Wanna check out my Pot Au Feu?"

Steve

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F

Ferrante

Guest
Maybe she'll do a "Cooking from The Slammer" series and
focus on what you can make with things that are smuggled in,
plus other things. Maybe show how certain food items can be
heated up by placing atop a light bulb, or keeping things
cold by enclosing them in a zip lock bag and placing them in
the toilet water. And then ideas on how to dress up your
cell, stuff like that.

We'll see...

Mark
 
W

Wardna

Guest
>Maybe show how certain food items can be heated up by
>placing atop a light bulb, or keeping things cold by
>enclosing them in a zip lock bag and placing them in the
>toilet water. And then ideas on how to

You won't get those columns until Heloise is sent up.
 
S

Steve Wertz

Guest
On Sun, 14 Mar 2004 18:02:55 GMT, Steve Ritter
<[email protected]> wrote:

> I wonder if she does go to jail, if she'll be the Cooker -
> Or the Cookie:)
>
> Gosh. I can just see this 400 pound woman greet her. "Hi
> toots! Wanna check out my Pot Au Feu?"

They'll treat a celebrity (with a good lawyer) by the books
and protect them. They will mess with her head as often as
possible though.

Ciao, Martha. -sw
 
S

Steve Wertz

Guest
On Sun, 14 Mar 2004 13:14:26 -0500, FERRANTE
<[email protected]> wrote:

>Maybe she'll do a "Cooking from The Slammer" series and
>focus on what you can make with things that are smuggled
>in, plus other things. Maybe show how certain food items
>can be heated up by placing atop a light bulb, or keeping
>things cold by enclosing them in a zip lock bag and placing
>them in the toilet water. And then ideas on how to dress up
>your cell, stuff like that.

How to light a cigarette from an electrical outlet. How to
keep smoldering toilet paper lit for several hours (for
lighting cigarettes). How to give haircuts with BIC razor
blades. How to make shanks from pieces of your locker. And
of course, seasonal prunos.

-sw
 
M

Mark Thorson

Guest
WardNA wrote:

> >Maybe show how certain food items can be heated up by
> >placing atop a light bulb, or keeping things cold by
> >enclosing them in a zip lock bag and placing them in the
> >toilet water. And then ideas on how to
>
> You won't get those columns until Heloise is sent up.

There's a good idea! Now that we've got a mob going, why
stop with Martha?

Now that I think about, I'd much rather send Donna Dewberry
to the slammer. I'm sick to death of seeing her One-StrokeTM
painting shows on PBS, occupying air time that could be used
to show something more entertaining like Rick Bayless frying
hamburgers at Burger King.
 
M

Melba'S Jammin

Guest
In article <[email protected]>, Steve Ritter
<[email protected]> wrote:

> I'll miss Martha. I love strong women.

Stay tuned for Rebecca Kolls.
--
-Barb, <www.jamlady.eboard.com> updated 3-13-04.
Rec.food.cooking's Preserved Fruit Administrator (I've got
the button to prove it!) "The only difference between a rut
and a grave is the depth of the hole."
 
S

Steve Ritter

Guest
On Sun, 14 Mar 2004 13:02:22 -0600, Steve Wertz
<[email protected]> Interjected.. :

> On Sun, 14 Mar 2004 18:02:55 GMT, Steve Ritter
> <[email protected]> wrote:
>
> > I wonder if she does go to jail, if she'll be the Cooker
> > - Or the Cookie:)
> >
> > Gosh. I can just see this 400 pound woman greet her. "Hi
> > toots! Wanna check out my Pot Au Feu?"
>
> They'll treat a celebrity (with a good lawyer) by the
> books and protect them. They will mess with her head as
> often as possible though.
>
> Ciao, Martha. -sw

She messed with a LOT of heads in her career. Of course,
she was messed
with as well, mostly as a child. Seen her mother? Talk
about mindfugg.

She deserves a little bit. But I still lust for her. Wonder
if they'd let me bring her some Foie Gras, and some of
those bow tie pastas lined up like lil' soldiers on a long
plate with a creamy truffle sauce. (In a private cell.)

Oh Martha! Why have you forsaken me!!??

Steve

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P

Pennyaline

Guest
"Mark Thorson" wrote:
> Now that I think about, I'd much rather send Donna
> Dewberry to the slammer. I'm sick to death of seeing her
> One-StrokeTM painting shows on PBS, occupying air time
> that could be used to show something more entertaining
> like Rick Bayless frying hamburgers at Burger King.

Cool! Could the technique transfer to jailhouse tats?
 
F

Ferrante

Guest
Maybe HBO can do a "female" version of OZ and Martha can be
the equivalent to Adabessi. You do remember him, don't you??
Who can we get to play the female Minister Siad?

Oprah could be the warden. I hear she is not too nice when
the cameras aren't pointed at her.

Mark Ferrante
 
S

Steve Ritter

Guest
On Sun, 14 Mar 2004 14:17:21 -0600, Melba's Jammin'
<[email protected]> Interjected.. :

> In article <[email protected]>,
> Steve Ritter <[email protected]> wrote:
>
> > I'll miss Martha. I love strong women.
>
> Stay tuned for Rebecca Kolls.

Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...

You made a funny:)

Steve

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M

Melba'S Jammin

Guest
In article <[email protected]>, Richard Kaszeta
<[email protected]> wrote:

> Melba's Jammin' <[email protected]> writes:
>
> > In article <[email protected]>,
> > Steve Ritter <[email protected]> wrote:
> >
> > > I'll miss Martha. I love strong women.
> >
> > Stay tuned for Rebecca Kolls.
>
> Who, when she was a regular on the KARE-11 news, I always
> thought she looked a lot like Martha anyways...

She's been positioning herself for greatness for a number of
years. Now is her time to move. CJ had something about it in
her Strib column within the last two days -- might even have
been today's paper. (waves) Hi, Rich.
--
-Barb, <www.jamlady.eboard.com> updated 3-13-04.
Rec.food.cooking's Preserved Fruit Administrator (I've got
the button to prove it!) "The only difference between a rut
and a grave is the depth of the hole."
 
P

Projectile Vomi

Guest
"Steve Ritter" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
>
> I'll miss Martha. I love strong women.
>
> She'll probably be gone 2 years at the most or less.
> Unless there will be a legal upset which can be
> pulled off with her money. Unfortunately the lynch
> mob wants blood.
>
> I wonder if she does go to jail, if she'll be the Cooker
> - Or the
Cookie:)
>
> Gosh. I can just see this 400 pound woman greet her. "Hi
> toots! Wanna check out my Pot Au Feu?"

Yeah, like she's gonna be locked up in Chino with the Women
of Cellblock H.
 
Z

Zenit

Guest
On Sun, 14 Mar 2004 13:07:00 -0600,
Steve Wertz <[email protected]>
had to open a new box of zerones to say:

>On Sun, 14 Mar 2004 13:14:26 -0500, FERRANTE
><[email protected]> wrote:
>
>>Maybe she'll do a "Cooking from The Slammer" series and
>>focus on what you can make with things that are smuggled
>>in, plus other things. Maybe show how certain food items
>>can be heated up by placing atop a light bulb, or keeping
>>things cold by enclosing them in a zip lock bag and
>>placing them in the toilet water. And then ideas on how to
>>dress up your cell, stuff like that.
>
>How to light a cigarette from an electrical outlet. How to
>keep smoldering toilet paper lit for several hours (for
>lighting cigarettes). How to give haircuts with BIC razor
>blades. How to make shanks from pieces of your locker. And
>of course, seasonal prunos.
>
>-sw

Damn, Steve, howd'ya discover all that good stuff...?

<! -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- > zenit
 
S

Steve Ritter

Guest
On 15 Mar 2004 20:48:49 GMT, zenit <[email protected]> Interjected.. :

> On Sun, 14 Mar 2004 13:07:00 -0600, Steve Wertz
> <[email protected]> had to open a new box of
> zerones to say:
>
> >On Sun, 14 Mar 2004 13:14:26 -0500, FERRANTE
> ><[email protected]> wrote:
> >
> >>Maybe she'll do a "Cooking from The Slammer" series and
> >>focus on what you can make with things that are smuggled
> >>in, plus other things. Maybe show how certain food items
> >>can be heated up by placing atop a light bulb, or
> >>keeping things cold by enclosing them in a zip lock bag
> >>and placing them in the toilet water. And then ideas on
> >>how to dress up your cell, stuff like that.
> >
> >How to light a cigarette from an electrical outlet. How
> >to keep smoldering toilet paper lit for several hours
> >(for lighting cigarettes). How to give haircuts with BIC
> >razor blades. How to make shanks from pieces of your
> >locker. And of course, seasonal prunos.
> >
> >-sw
>
> Damn, Steve, howd'ya discover all that good stuff...?
>
> <! -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- > zenit

Only one way possible. Experience. Hee hee.

Steve

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S

Steve Wertz

Guest
On Tue, 16 Mar 2004 01:36:08 GMT, Steve Ritter
<[email protected]> wrote:

>On 15 Mar 2004 20:48:49 GMT, zenit <[email protected]>
>Interjected.. :
>
>> On Sun, 14 Mar 2004 13:07:00 -0600, Steve Wertz
>> <[email protected]> had to open a new box
>> of zerones to say:
>>
>> >On Sun, 14 Mar 2004 13:14:26 -0500, FERRANTE
>> ><[email protected]> wrote:
>> >
>> >>Maybe she'll do a "Cooking from The Slammer" series and
>> >>focus on what you can make with things that are
>> >>smuggled in, plus other things. Maybe show how certain
>> >>food items can be heated up by placing atop a light
>> >>bulb, or keeping things cold by enclosing them in a zip
>> >>lock bag and placing them in the toilet water. And then
>> >>ideas on how to dress up your cell, stuff like that.
>> >
>> >How to light a cigarette from an electrical outlet. How
>> >to keep smoldering toilet paper lit for several hours
>> >(for lighting cigarettes). How to give haircuts with BIC
>> >razor blades. How to make shanks from pieces of your
>> >locker. And of course, seasonal prunos.
>>
>> Damn, Steve, howd'ya discover all that good
>> stuff...? zenit
>
>
> Only one way possible. Experience. Hee hee.

Worked in a prison for a couple years. No, I wasn't making
license plates (they don't let me near metal objects).

-sw