Mrs Richards is alive and well and living in Chippenham

Discussion in 'UK and Europe' started by Al_mossah, Mar 20, 2003.

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  1. Al_mossah

    Al_mossah Guest

    I was cycling to work today along a joint pedestrian and cycle track near my home. It runs alongside
    a meadow, and there's always lots of dog walkers +dogs (logically) there.

    I came up behind a woman (in her 60s) , and rang my bell several times as I approached. She
    didn't appear to hear, so recognising that she may be hard of hearing, I slowly passed her on the
    edge of the path.

    She gave a start, and shouted (when she touht that I was out of earshot) that I should have a bell.
    Slam on brakes, and commence Fawltyesque conversation which went something like this:

    Me: "Actually I do have a bell" Her: "Well, you should use it"
    Mf: "I did ring it. It sounds like this" (demonstrate ringing of satisfying loud bell). But I
    assumed you hadn't heard it, so that was why I went by you slowly." Her: "I'm not deaf. You
    should have sounded it when you were closer to me"
    Mg: "Well, I'm sorry, but I was ringing it every couple of seconds as I approached you" Her: "I
    don't believe you. I would have heard it. I don't think you rang it at all."
    Mh: "Hang on, Are you calling me a liar?" Her: "I would have heard it if you had rung it, so you
    can't have done. Carry on. I've had enough of this conversation"
    Mi: "Jumping ot the conclusion that I'm a liar is a rather perculiar attitude" Her: "Well I don't
    like your attitude. "
    Mj: "I think that you should consider whether you are being reasonable in assuming that I
    am a liar"

    Her damn dog had the temerity to give me grief as I cycled off.

    As the weather is good at the moment I wear jacket and tie on the bike, so it wasn't as if I could
    be described as a lycra-lout.

    I'm hoping to see her tomorrow, so any advice on preparations? Should I just get a loud siren and
    creep up behind her, and let her have it full volume, or does anyone have something more subtle?
     
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  2. Anonymous

    Anonymous Guest

    In a brief moment of lucidity al_Mossah scribbled:

    > I'm hoping to see her tomorrow, so any advice on preparations? Should I just get a loud siren and
    > creep up behind her, and let her have it full volume, or does anyone have something more subtle?

    Siren for her, pepper for the dog .. ;)

    --

    My house is FOR SALE ... http://tinyurl.com/69r0
     
  3. Tony W

    Tony W Guest

    "al_Mossah" <[email protected]> wrote in message
    news:[email protected]...
    > I was cycling to work today along a joint pedestrian and cycle track near
    my
    > home. It runs alongside a meadow, and there's always lots of dog walkers +dogs (logically) there.

    Normally nice people get very strange when walking their dogs. I suspect they turn their brains off
    -- and, of course, become pack animals so its all communication within the pack and mindless
    aggression outside.

    T
     
  4. Tony Raven

    Tony Raven Guest

    "al_Mossah" <[email protected]> wrote in message
    news:[email protected]...
    >
    > I'm hoping to see her tomorrow, so any advice on preparations? Should I just get a loud siren and
    > creep up behind her, and let her have it full volume, or does anyone have something more subtle?
    >

    Shout "I'm about to ring my bell for you" first?

    Tony
     
  5. In article <[email protected]>, [email protected] says... [...]
    > I'm hoping to see her tomorrow, so any advice on preparations? Should I just get a loud siren and
    > creep up behind her, and let her have it full volume, or does anyone have something more subtle?

    Get one of those klaxons they use to signal the end of a rugby league match. She'll hear that.

    Colin
     
  6. >Should I just get a loud siren and creep up behind her, and let her have it full volume, or does
    >anyone have something more subtle?

    Oh no, subtley is not called for in this case - I think a megaphone is called for - or something of
    similar volume for her and a cattleprod for the dog.

    Cheers, helen s :p

    p.s. what is it about somepeople when they have a dog that causes all courtesy to disappear??

    p.p.s. what is it about the ageing process on some people that allows them to think that just
    because they are old they have every right toi be rude to all and sundry??

    ~~~~~~~~~~
    Flush out that intestinal parasite and/or the waste product before sending a reply!

    Any speeliong mistake$ aR the resiult of my cats sitting on the keyboaRRRDdd
    ~~~~~~~~~~
     
  7. Al_mossah

    Al_mossah Guest

    A Cattleprod? Subtle? I like your definition of subtle :)

    Maybe I should try the megaphone for the dog and the cattleprod for her. Is this subtloe?

    As for her right to be rude, no idea. I'm always glad to see people out and about using paths for
    their intended use.

    Peter.

    "wafflycathcsdirtycatlitter" <[email protected]> wrote in message
    news:[email protected]...
    > >Should I just get a loud siren and creep up behind her, and let her have it full volume, or does
    > >anyone have something more subtle?
    >
    > Oh no, subtley is not called for in this case - I think a megaphone is
    called
    > for - or something of similar volume for her and a cattleprod for the dog.
    >
    > Cheers, helen s :p
    >
    > p.s. what is it about somepeople when they have a dog that causes all
    courtesy
    > to disappear??
    >
    > p.p.s. what is it about the ageing process on some people that allows them
    to
    > think that just because they are old they have every right toi be rude to
    all
    > and sundry??
    >
    > ~~~~~~~~~~
    > Flush out that intestinal parasite and/or the waste product before sending
    a
    > reply!
    >
    > Any speeliong mistake$ aR the resiult of my cats sitting on the
    keyboaRRRDdd
    > ~~~~~~~~~~
     
  8. Terry

    Terry Guest

    > >
    >
    > Shout "I'm about to ring my bell for you" first?

    All the old blokes round here are ex-miners and can't hear much in the upper scale.I have long
    thought that a shout is more effective and gave up on bells. Whatever you do they will often jump
    2ft in the air and scowl at you. I try to make it a conversation about the weather as I approach and
    glide past. TerryJ
     
  9. In article <[email protected]>, [email protected] says...
    > >Should I just get a loud siren and creep up behind her, and let her have it full volume, or does
    > >anyone have something more subtle?
    >
    > Oh no, subtley is not called for in this case - I think a megaphone is called for

    I like that idea. As you approach from behind use the megaphone to shout loudly, "I am about to ring
    my bell. I repeat, I AM ABOUT TO RING MY BELL." Then give a quick tinkle on the bell.

    Colin
     
  10. Dave Kahn

    Dave Kahn Guest

    [email protected] (wafflycathcsdirtycatlitter) wrote in message
    news:<[email protected]>...

    > p.p.s. what is it about the ageing process on some people that allows them to think that just
    > because they are old they have every right toi be rude to all and sundry??

    They've probably been obnoxious all their lives.

    --
    Dave...
     
  11. Tony Raven

    Tony Raven Guest

  12. Michael Kent

    Michael Kent Guest

    "Tony Raven" <[email protected]> wrote in message
    news:[email protected]...
    >
    > "Colin Blackburn" <[email protected]> wrote in message
    > news:[email protected]...
    > > Then give a quick tinkle on the bell.
    > >
    >
    > through the megaphone?
    >
    > Tony
    >
    >
    Take a look in hafords mate they sell a handle bar mounted megaphone with siren option too, you can
    choose from action man or barbie i think :)

    Cheers Michael
     
  13. "Michael Kent" <[email protected]> wrote in message
    news:<[email protected]>...
    >
    > Take a look in hafords mate they sell a handle bar mounted megaphone with siren option too, you
    > can choose from action man or barbie i think :)

    I had one of those as a kid! Megaphone was a bit crackly, but it had 3 siren effects, which
    were good fun.

    David E. Belcher

    Dept. of Chemistry, University of York
     
  14. Pete White

    Pete White Guest

    news:[email protected]...
    > In a brief moment of lucidity al_Mossah scribbled:
    >
    > > I'm hoping to see her tomorrow, so any advice on preparations? Should I just get a loud siren
    > > and creep up behind her, and let her have it full volume, or does anyone have something more
    > > subtle?
    >
    > Siren for her, pepper for the dog .. ;)
    >
    >
    > --

    > My house is FOR SALE ... http://tinyurl.com/69r0
    >
    >
    Not fair to pick on the dog, surely? It can't help its owner!

    Pete White
     
  15. Pete White

    Pete White Guest

    "Pete White" <[email protected]> wrote in message
    news:[email protected]...
    >

    > news:[email protected]...
    > > In a brief moment of lucidity al_Mossah scribbled:
    > >
    > > > I'm hoping to see her tomorrow, so any advice on preparations? Should I just get a loud siren
    > > > and creep up behind her, and let her have it full volume, or does anyone have something more
    > > > subtle?
    > >
    > > Siren for her, pepper for the dog .. ;)
    > >
    > >
    > > --

    > > My house is FOR SALE ... http://tinyurl.com/69r0
    > >
    > >
    > Not fair to pick on the dog, surely? It can't help its owner!
    >
    > Pete White

    I forgot ;) in there somewhere!

    Pete White
     
  16. Al_mossah

    Al_mossah Guest

    Haven't seen the lady since my neighbour offered me his compressed-air-horn.

    Peter

    "Dave Kahn" <[email protected]> wrote in message
    news:[email protected]...
    > [email protected] (wafflycathcsdirtycatlitter) wrote in message
    news:<[email protected]>...
    >
    > > p.p.s. what is it about the ageing process on some people that allows
    them to
    > > think that just because they are old they have every right toi be rude
    to all
    > > and sundry??
    >
    > They've probably been obnoxious all their lives.
    >
    > --
    > Dave...
     
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