Mrs Richards is alive and well and living in Chippenham



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Al_mossah

Guest
I was cycling to work today along a joint pedestrian and cycle track near my home. It runs alongside
a meadow, and there's always lots of dog walkers +dogs (logically) there.

I came up behind a woman (in her 60s) , and rang my bell several times as I approached. She
didn't appear to hear, so recognising that she may be hard of hearing, I slowly passed her on the
edge of the path.

She gave a start, and shouted (when she touht that I was out of earshot) that I should have a bell.
Slam on brakes, and commence Fawltyesque conversation which went something like this:

Me: "Actually I do have a bell" Her: "Well, you should use it"
Mf: "I did ring it. It sounds like this" (demonstrate ringing of satisfying loud bell). But I
assumed you hadn't heard it, so that was why I went by you slowly." Her: "I'm not deaf. You
should have sounded it when you were closer to me"
Mg: "Well, I'm sorry, but I was ringing it every couple of seconds as I approached you" Her: "I
don't believe you. I would have heard it. I don't think you rang it at all."
Mh: "Hang on, Are you calling me a liar?" Her: "I would have heard it if you had rung it, so you
can't have done. Carry on. I've had enough of this conversation"
Mi: "Jumping ot the conclusion that I'm a liar is a rather perculiar attitude" Her: "Well I don't
like your attitude. "
Mj: "I think that you should consider whether you are being reasonable in assuming that I
am a liar"

Her damn dog had the temerity to give me grief as I cycled off.

As the weather is good at the moment I wear jacket and tie on the bike, so it wasn't as if I could
be described as a lycra-lout.

I'm hoping to see her tomorrow, so any advice on preparations? Should I just get a loud siren and
creep up behind her, and let her have it full volume, or does anyone have something more subtle?
 
A

Anonymous

Guest
In a brief moment of lucidity al_Mossah scribbled:

> I'm hoping to see her tomorrow, so any advice on preparations? Should I just get a loud siren and
> creep up behind her, and let her have it full volume, or does anyone have something more subtle?

Siren for her, pepper for the dog .. ;)

--

My house is FOR SALE ... http://tinyurl.com/69r0
 
T

Tony W

Guest
"al_Mossah" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> I was cycling to work today along a joint pedestrian and cycle track near
my
> home. It runs alongside a meadow, and there's always lots of dog walkers +dogs (logically) there.

Normally nice people get very strange when walking their dogs. I suspect they turn their brains off
-- and, of course, become pack animals so its all communication within the pack and mindless
aggression outside.

T
 
T

Tony Raven

Guest
"al_Mossah" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
>
> I'm hoping to see her tomorrow, so any advice on preparations? Should I just get a loud siren and
> creep up behind her, and let her have it full volume, or does anyone have something more subtle?
>

Shout "I'm about to ring my bell for you" first?

Tony
 
C

Colin Blackburn

Guest
In article <[email protected]>, [email protected] says... [...]
> I'm hoping to see her tomorrow, so any advice on preparations? Should I just get a loud siren and
> creep up behind her, and let her have it full volume, or does anyone have something more subtle?

Get one of those klaxons they use to signal the end of a rugby league match. She'll hear that.

Colin
 
W

Wafflycathcsdir

Guest
>Should I just get a loud siren and creep up behind her, and let her have it full volume, or does
>anyone have something more subtle?

Oh no, subtley is not called for in this case - I think a megaphone is called for - or something of
similar volume for her and a cattleprod for the dog.

Cheers, helen s :p

p.s. what is it about somepeople when they have a dog that causes all courtesy to disappear??

p.p.s. what is it about the ageing process on some people that allows them to think that just
because they are old they have every right toi be rude to all and sundry??

~~~~~~~~~~
Flush out that intestinal parasite and/or the waste product before sending a reply!

Any speeliong mistake$ aR the resiult of my cats sitting on the keyboaRRRDdd
~~~~~~~~~~
 
A

Al_mossah

Guest
A Cattleprod? Subtle? I like your definition of subtle :)

Maybe I should try the megaphone for the dog and the cattleprod for her. Is this subtloe?

As for her right to be rude, no idea. I'm always glad to see people out and about using paths for
their intended use.

Peter.

"wafflycathcsdirtycatlitter" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> >Should I just get a loud siren and creep up behind her, and let her have it full volume, or does
> >anyone have something more subtle?
>
> Oh no, subtley is not called for in this case - I think a megaphone is
called
> for - or something of similar volume for her and a cattleprod for the dog.
>
> Cheers, helen s :p
>
> p.s. what is it about somepeople when they have a dog that causes all
courtesy
> to disappear??
>
> p.p.s. what is it about the ageing process on some people that allows them
to
> think that just because they are old they have every right toi be rude to
all
> and sundry??
>
> ~~~~~~~~~~
> Flush out that intestinal parasite and/or the waste product before sending
a
> reply!
>
> Any speeliong mistake$ aR the resiult of my cats sitting on the
keyboaRRRDdd
> ~~~~~~~~~~
 
T

Terry

Guest
> >
>
> Shout "I'm about to ring my bell for you" first?

All the old blokes round here are ex-miners and can't hear much in the upper scale.I have long
thought that a shout is more effective and gave up on bells. Whatever you do they will often jump
2ft in the air and scowl at you. I try to make it a conversation about the weather as I approach and
glide past. TerryJ
 
C

Colin Blackburn

Guest
In article <[email protected]>, [email protected] says...
> >Should I just get a loud siren and creep up behind her, and let her have it full volume, or does
> >anyone have something more subtle?
>
> Oh no, subtley is not called for in this case - I think a megaphone is called for

I like that idea. As you approach from behind use the megaphone to shout loudly, "I am about to ring
my bell. I repeat, I AM ABOUT TO RING MY BELL." Then give a quick tinkle on the bell.

Colin
 
D

Dave Kahn

Guest
[email protected] (wafflycathcsdirtycatlitter) wrote in message
news:<[email protected]>...

> p.p.s. what is it about the ageing process on some people that allows them to think that just
> because they are old they have every right toi be rude to all and sundry??

They've probably been obnoxious all their lives.

--
Dave...
 
D

David E. Belche

Guest
"Michael Kent" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:<[email protected]>...
>
> Take a look in hafords mate they sell a handle bar mounted megaphone with siren option too, you
> can choose from action man or barbie i think :)

I had one of those as a kid! Megaphone was a bit crackly, but it had 3 siren effects, which
were good fun.

David E. Belcher

Dept. of Chemistry, University of York
 
P

Pete White

Guest
news:[email protected]...
> In a brief moment of lucidity al_Mossah scribbled:
>
> > I'm hoping to see her tomorrow, so any advice on preparations? Should I just get a loud siren
> > and creep up behind her, and let her have it full volume, or does anyone have something more
> > subtle?
>
> Siren for her, pepper for the dog .. ;)
>
>
> --

> My house is FOR SALE ... http://tinyurl.com/69r0
>
>
Not fair to pick on the dog, surely? It can't help its owner!

Pete White
 
P

Pete White

Guest
"Pete White" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
>

> news:[email protected]...
> > In a brief moment of lucidity al_Mossah scribbled:
> >
> > > I'm hoping to see her tomorrow, so any advice on preparations? Should I just get a loud siren
> > > and creep up behind her, and let her have it full volume, or does anyone have something more
> > > subtle?
> >
> > Siren for her, pepper for the dog .. ;)
> >
> >
> > --

> > My house is FOR SALE ... http://tinyurl.com/69r0
> >
> >
> Not fair to pick on the dog, surely? It can't help its owner!
>
> Pete White

I forgot ;) in there somewhere!

Pete White
 
A

Al_mossah

Guest
Haven't seen the lady since my neighbour offered me his compressed-air-horn.

Peter

"Dave Kahn" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> [email protected] (wafflycathcsdirtycatlitter) wrote in message
news:<[email protected]>...
>
> > p.p.s. what is it about the ageing process on some people that allows
them to
> > think that just because they are old they have every right toi be rude
to all
> > and sundry??
>
> They've probably been obnoxious all their lives.
>
> --
> Dave...
 
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