My best revenge EVER (war story)

Discussion in 'The Bike Cafe' started by WINGNUTT, Sep 19, 2005.

  1. WINGNUTT

    WINGNUTT New Member

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    *Gross warning - if nasal mucous offends you, stop reading*

    I could go on and on about revenge I've had on drivers, but this one is by far the best, and I think warrants its own thread. I was winding my way up a lonely mountain road this past Sunday, when a car rolls up behind me and for absolutely no reason honks the horn at me. I ignore it, but then she lays the horn on over and over for several seconds at a time - presumably to humor herself. Pissed off, I begin to plan my revenge as I normally do - I start working a big loogie from the back of my throat in prepration for when she finally passes me. I hear the car finally stop honking and accellerate round to my left, and just when I can see the car out of the corner of my eye, I dispatch the salty treat I had just prepared over my left shoulder, trying to splatter the windshield. Well, my timing was off, but only by a fraction of a second, so instead of the loogie landing on the windshield, it's on a direct path for the passenger window.... which just happened to be.......... OPEN. The next part you can probably guess - like a dream come true, it just so happens that the bitch driver had a little friend with her in the passenger seat, who was giggling at the whole situation right up until the moment she noticed that my snotty spit wad had breached her airspace and was about to explode all over her face. The last thing I could see as the car drove by was my mucous filled snot missle about one inch from her nose just as she realized that she and I were about to share a very intimate moment that neither of us would soon forget. I can presume the refreshing impact wiped the smile off her face in a big hurry, and replaced the smile with a mixture of slimy snot and saliva. I can only hope that the driver was struck by some stray snot, or perhaps some ricochet residue, but I can't be sure. So, the revenge wasn't perfect because I don't know for sure that the intended target herself was struck, but I can say I was satisfied with my work and enjoyed the next few moments of my climb with immense satisfaction.
     
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  2. shannons dad

    shannons dad New Member

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    Work well done and much praise is indeed deserved!
     
  3. huhenio

    huhenio New Member

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    Beware of such things: You never know what idiotic people might do to you.

    I care for the smart assholes myself; but oh Lord guard me from the stupid ones.

    Regardless ... good job!
     
  4. g-brown

    g-brown New Member

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    Beautiful man, truly beautiful. I cried.

    You are a champion to cyclists everywhere.
     
  5. shannons dad

    shannons dad New Member

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    I suppose you could call it a 'HEAD-SET'. HA HA!!
     
  6. cadence230

    cadence230 New Member

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    That's gold wingnutt! Pure gold!
     
  7. concord

    concord Member

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    I'm still laughing !!!! Ha ha ha ha ha. That is great ! Ha ha ha ha ha :D
     
  8. baj32161

    baj32161 New Member

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    Priceless...simply priceless!!!!!! I hope it hit her right in her laughing mouth.
     
  9. trek-man

    trek-man New Member

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  10. meehs

    meehs New Member

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    Whoa, nasty! Instant Karma!
     
  11. jack rackham

    jack rackham New Member

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    Having had the "mad horn-blower" scare the $hit out of me on several occasions, I can only say that you have become "My hero"!
     
  12. BimmsAndBices

    BimmsAndBices New Member

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    Frikkin beautiful! Her karma caught up to her pretty quick. Only a direct mouth-hit could have made that better.
     
  13. cydewaze

    cydewaze New Member

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    LOL @ mouth-hit.
     
  14. CrankHead71

    CrankHead71 New Member

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    You are my hero!!!! i got a warm fuzzy inside when i read that story.
     
  15. cdat

    cdat New Member

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    GREAT! Keep up the good work!
     
  16. badhat

    badhat New Member

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    last week i missed getting nailed by a car running a redlight by about a foot.

    so i chased the car down at its next redlight and peed on the front tire.

    not as funny as your story. but i felt pretty good about it.
     
  17. Gearoid

    Gearoid New Member

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    just the best, spit of swallow lol:eek:
     
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