New ATM Porcedure:

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by superwinner, Sep 29, 2005.

  1. superwinner

    superwinner New Member

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    Sign in the Bank Lobby reads: "Please note that this Bank is installing
    new Drive-through teller machines enabling customers to withdraw cash
    without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are
    requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their
    accounts.

    After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE procedures have been
    developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender."


    MALE PROCEDURE:


    1. Drive up to the cash machine.

    2. Put down your car window.

    3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.

    4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.

    5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.

    6. Put window up.

    7. Drive off.


    ***********************************************************


    FEMALE
    PROCEDURE:


    1. Drive up to cash machine.

    2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the
    machine.

    3. Set parking brake, put the window down.

    4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.

    5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up

    6. Attempt to insert card into machine.

    7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive
    distance from the car.

    8. Insert card.

    9. Re-insert card the right way.

    10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside
    back page.

    11. Enter PIN.

    12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.

    13. Enter amount of cash required.

    14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.

    15. Retrieve cash and receipt.

    16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet
    and place cash inside.

    17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of
    checkbook.

    18. Re-check makeup.

    19. Drive forward 2 feet.

    20. Reverse back to cash machine.

    21. Retrieve card.

    22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot
    provided.

    23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.

    24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.

    25. Redial person on cell phone.

    26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.

    27. Release Parking Brake.
     
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  2. MountainPro

    MountainPro New Member

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    very funny...:D
     
  3. scoutmaster

    scoutmaster New Member

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    I have been behind this female before in the ATM line :)
     
  4. bigpedaler

    bigpedaler New Member

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    OMG! LOL-ROTF-LMFAO!

    yeah, i was behind a few of these -- one was even a construction worker -- and he didn't have make-up with him that day.

    (actually, my 1st wife was one of these, and you wouldn't believe what came out of THAT purse; if she'd have emptied it, a family of immgrants could have moved in....)
     
  5. Mikebike125

    Mikebike125 New Member

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    I like that!
     
  6. steve_18798

    steve_18798 New Member

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    Thats really funny man. My wife is one of those. Thank God we have different vehicles. I was stuck behind my own wife in an ATM line before. After 15 minutes the line finally started moving. LOL its a good joke.
     
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