New Maglia Gialla

Discussion in 'Road Cycling' started by Davey Crockett, Jul 20, 2003.

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  1. It's a diabolically devious scheme we can now reveal.

    On today's stage the Old Blue Riband DS told his New Boy on the Block to get in the break, push it
    to the limit and drop the rest of the Wannabee, No-Hoper, Never-Wozzer Wankers on the penultimate
    climb and grab the Maglia Gialla.

    Then on the next two stages, McWhiner Secundus can just sit at the back whilst Janus Germanicus puts
    the spurs to his Horses and tries to claw back a few seconds in this New Fangled Charriot Race.

    And when Janus Germanicus and his Gladiators are well and truly Knackered. McWhiner Secundus will
    call up the long deceased Ghosts of Hector and Lysander to take up His colours and give their lives
    in His Cause as they did for Helen of Sparta all those centuries ago when some up and coming Social
    Climbing Wanker called Parigi kidnapped her so that Theseus, Patron of the Athenean Squad, could
    throw a leg over.

    The whole idea of the Pantomime, of course, is to have McWhiner Secundus in Tip-Top Shape to tackle
    a Battle Scarred Janus Germanicus in the Final Solo Charriot Race so that he can grab Top Honours
    and be Crowned as Gladiator Superbus with The Victor's Laurel Wreath when the Circus finally wraps
    up a week from now as New Boy on the Block falls on his Sword and abandons the Games to give his
    Patron the Victory.

    But hark now, McWhiner Secundus, I hear the strains of Wagner. Being a True Philistine, I can't
    remember if it's Parsifal or Lohengrin but it conjures up the memories of Hannibal of Carthage
    charging over the Alps with his Hephalumps, pursuing the McWhiner Secundus Legions all over Gallia
    CeterAlpina and generally wiping the floor with McWhiner so that he retreats to the far Colony
    Britannicus whence he came with no laurel Wreaths and His tail between his legs like a Whipped Dog
    and is never heard of again.

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