Ode to TD and his buds

Discussion in 'Mountain Bikes' started by Terri Alvillar, Apr 1, 2003.

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  1. By Terri Alvillar

    Too far from the ranger, the rider denies The wet ground from rain having fallen from skies

    He lives more for feeling the rush through his veins Than the leaf covered ground and the roots
    he disdains

    It's all for the fun, he thinks, turning off-road What care I may flatten a snake or a toad

    The trail built last year, it has doubled in size Not fun any more, better find a new prize

    Taking off through the woods the biker's wheels churn To hell with the flora, I've macho to burn

    For nature is challenge, it ain't nothing more If he can't destroy it, life would be a bore

    So upward and downward the mountains begin To lose their appeal for those living within

    With speeding and grinding and squealing and braking The animals there are always awaking

    The tree called Madrone with handsome red bark Is bitten by chain rings by day and by dark

    The slope so majestic and full of wildflowers Has lost its season of blooming in hours

    The man and the woman whose hair has turned gray Afraid to be struck, have both gone away

    The dog and the horse in this are alike They run from a speeding and uncontrolled bike

    The creeks and the streams all seem to cry out Go away, leave alone, all my rare Steelhead trout

    by Terri Alvillar
     
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  2. Terri Alvillar wrote:
    > By Terri Alvillar
    >
    > Too far from the ranger, the rider denies The wet ground from rain having fallen from skies snip<

    Don't quit your day job. Oh wait... do quit your day job.

    Jon Bond I've macho to burn
     
  3. Chris

    Chris Guest

    "Terri Alvillar" <[email protected]> wrote in message
    news:[email protected]...
    > By Terri Alvillar
    >
    > Too far from the ranger, the rider denies The wet ground from rain having fallen from skies

    My tires keep wet ground from staying wet? What does that mean? Also, mountain bikers don't often
    ride during or after rains, for fear of damaging trails.

    >
    > He lives more for feeling the rush through his veins Than the leaf covered ground and the roots he
    > disdains

    Only men mountian bike, Terri? Maybe you have deeper problems than mountain bikers, if you are
    associating "evil" acts with men in general. Also, roots rule. They're tricky, challenging, and just
    plain fun. Lastly, there are no leaves fallen on trails. Hikers' feet pushed them all away.

    > It's all for the fun, he thinks, turning off-road What care I may flatten a snake or a toad

    I don't want to hurt anything... and I don't know a single rider that wouldn't move his bike around
    or over something alive in the trail.

    > The trail built last year, it has doubled in size Not fun any more, better find a new prize

    My trail system got larger? Awesome, I should go ride!

    > Taking off through the woods the biker's wheels churn To hell with the flora, I've macho to burn

    I'll excuse your usage of the adjective "macho" as a noun; you meant machismo, but that would ruin
    your rythym scheme. Again, though, you've equated mountain biking with only men by using this term.
    Big mistake.

    > For nature is challenge, it ain't nothing more If he can't destroy it, life would be a bore

    Nature is much more than challenge - most mountian bikers have a symbiotic realtionship with and a
    deep respect for all things outdoors. How many times have you left the woods with more pack weight
    than you brought in, thanks to others' garbage? How many hours have you spent cleaning trails,
    checking anchors at climbing sites, or instructing others on proper outdoor conduct (by "proper" I
    mean concepts like Leave No Trace...not your apparent fanaticism)

    > So upward and downward the mountains begin To lose their appeal for those living within

    Life within the mountians? Too much Lord of the Rings, Terri. :)

    > With speeding and grinding and squealing and braking The animals there are always awaking

    Lazy animals, it's the middle of the day...go forage. Terri, I refuse to be silent when I leave my
    home. The animals will have to get used to that. Besides, now that it is springtime, birds wake me
    up each morning. I propose we outlaw finches, robins, and the like from sitting on branches within
    300 feet of all residences. In fact, I'll take Mr. Vandeman's cue and start a bird-free habitat so
    humans can sleep 'til 11:00 on a Sunday, as nature intended.

    > The tree called Madrone with handsome red bark Is bitten by chain rings by day and by dark

    If a tree is getting hit by chainrings, one of two things has happened: the tree has already died
    and fallen over, or the rider has suffered a horrible crash. In which case, I cannot imagine you
    feel more sympathy for the tree than the person.

    > The slope so majestic and full of wildflowers Has lost its season of blooming in hours

    We don't ride off trail. No flower - let alone a field of flowers - would fail to bloom if a bike
    passed by.

    > The man and the woman whose hair has turned gray Afraid to be struck, have both gone away

    Where I am, there are bike paths, and there are hiking paths. When you are out of your element, you
    behave accordingly. Your elderly couple needs to leran which trails are used for what purposes.

    > The dog and the horse in this are alike They run from a speeding and uncontrolled bike

    Never uncontrolled. Never. And we watch out for horses, dogs, squirrels, aardvarks, llamas, dragons,
    unicorns, griffins, and whatever else you've got.

    > The creeks and the streams all seem to cry out Go away, leave alone, all my rare Steelhead trout

    Show me ANYTHING that indicates mountain bikers could ever have contributed to the demise of any
    species of fish. Please.

    > by Terri Alvillar

    Bye, Terri Alvillar.

    Chris
     
  4. Bb

    Bb Guest

    On Tue, 01 Apr 2003 18:47:01 GMT, Chris wrote:

    > My tires keep wet ground from staying wet? What does that mean? Also, mountain bikers don't often
    > ride during or after rains, for fear of damaging trails.

    She's past the point of caring what's real or not. She's been "Vandemanized".

    Much of this Bay-area anti-MTB dogma just seems to be baiting: call them "disgusting and dishonest"
    even when they're not acting that way, and eventually they'll feel its futile to be kind and honest.
    It seems to be working locally, but doesn't sell as well on Usenet.

    And we stay off the wet trails out of CONCERN, not fear. Which is why a frequently-ridden MTB trail
    looks like this: http://bbauer.gomen.org/images/smooth1track.jpg

    And Terri Avillar's response to this reality looks like this: ---start response here--- ----end
    response here----

    -BB- To reply to me, drop the attitude (from my e-mail address, at least)
     
  5. Jimbo

    Jimbo Guest

    Terri Alvillar wrote:

    > By Terri Alvillar
    >
    > Too far from the ranger, the rider denies The wet ground from rain having fallen from skies
    >
    > He lives more for feeling the rush through his veins Than the leaf covered ground and the roots he
    > disdains
    >
    > It's all for the fun, he thinks, turning off-road What care I may flatten a snake or a toad
    >
    > The trail built last year, it has doubled in size Not fun any more, better find a new prize
    >
    > Taking off through the woods the biker's wheels churn To hell with the flora, I've macho to burn
    >
    > For nature is challenge, it ain't nothing more If he can't destroy it, life would be a bore
    >
    > So upward and downward the mountains begin To lose their appeal for those living within
    >
    > With speeding and grinding and squealing and braking The animals there are always awaking
    >
    > The tree called Madrone with handsome red bark Is bitten by chain rings by day and by dark
    >
    > The slope so majestic and full of wildflowers Has lost its season of blooming in hours
    >
    > The man and the woman whose hair has turned gray Afraid to be struck, have both gone away
    >
    > The dog and the horse in this are alike They run from a speeding and uncontrolled bike
    >
    > The creeks and the streams all seem to cry out Go away, leave alone, all my rare Steelhead trout
    >
    > by Terri Alvillar

    That touched me... in a very special place... *sniff* Why do I feel so dirty???

    Jimbo(san)
     
  6. Bb

    Bb Guest

    On Tue, 01 Apr 2003 14:58:24 -0500, jimbo(san) wrote:

    > That touched me... in a very special place... *sniff* Why do I feel so dirty???

    Its because you've been bad. You deserve a good spanking.

    --
    -BB- To reply to me, drop the attitude (from my e-mail address, at least)
     
  7. Carla A-G

    Carla A-G Guest

    "BB" <[email protected]> wrote in message news:[email protected]...
    > On Tue, 01 Apr 2003 14:58:24 -0500, jimbo(san) wrote:
    >
    > > That touched me... in a very special place... *sniff* Why do I feel so dirty???
    >
    > Its because you've been bad. You deserve a good >spanking.

    Okay, I'll go call Olga to get the job done...

    - CA-G eeewwwww...

    Can-Am Girls Don't Spank Ass!
     
  8. Mattb

    Mattb Guest

    "BB" <[email protected]> wrote in message news:[email protected]...
    > On Tue, 01 Apr 2003 14:58:24 -0500, jimbo(san) wrote:
    >
    > > That touched me... in a very special place... *sniff* Why do I feel so dirty???
    >
    > Its because you've been bad. You deserve a good spanking.
    >

    In fact, I think we all need a good spanking!

    Matt

    PS - I think I'll name my next trail Terri's Twister or maybe Alvillarge and in Charge. I'll carve
    the name of the trail into a nearby tree and color it with dye made from a whole field of
    wildflowers mixed with the blood of snakes and toads. Then I'll dump the saw dust into the
    creek and...
     
  9. Bb

    Bb Guest

    On Tue, 1 Apr 2003 14:08:49 -0700, MattB wrote:

    >> Its because you've been bad. You deserve a good spanking.
    >
    > In fact, I think we all need a good spanking!

    And then....

    --
    -BB- To reply to me, drop the attitude (from my e-mail address, at least)
     
  10. "BB" <[email protected]> wrote in message news:[email protected]...
    > On Tue, 1 Apr 2003 14:08:49 -0700, MattB wrote:
    >
    > >> Its because you've been bad. You deserve a good spanking.
    > >
    > > In fact, I think we all need a good spanking!
    >
    > And then....
    >
    > --
    > -BB- To reply to me, drop the attitude (from my e-mail address, at least)

    They were mostly young blondes and brunettes ages 17 to 19 1/2, have you seen this gal Teri? Let's
    not go there.

    --
    Craig Brossman, Durango Colorado
     
  11. Paladin

    Paladin Guest

    [email protected] (Terri Alvillar, TreeHugger Extraordinaire) wrote in message
    news:<[email protected]>...
    > By Terri Alvillar
    >
    <snip endearing poetry>
    >
    > The creeks and the streams all seem to cry out Go away, leave alone, all my rare Steelhead trout
    >
    > by Terri Alvillar

    And your purpose for regaling us such, was??? Asking for donations, as you sit on the streetcorner,
    banging a bongo and reciting bad poetry? I'll throw in a quarter if you will...




    JUST SHUT THE HELL UP AND RIDE!!

    HAAHAHAHAHAHAH

    Paladin
     
  12. MTBScottie

    MTBScottie Guest

    "jimbo(san)" <[email protected]> wrote in message news:<[email protected]>...
    > Terri Alvillar wrote:
    >
    > > By Terri Alvillar
    > >
    > > Too far from the ranger, the rider denies The wet ground from rain having fallen from skies
    > >
    > > He lives more for feeling the rush through his veins Than the leaf covered ground and the roots
    > > he disdains
    > >
    > > It's all for the fun, he thinks, turning off-road What care I may flatten a snake or a toad
    > >
    > > The trail built last year, it has doubled in size Not fun any more, better find a new prize
    > >
    > > Taking off through the woods the biker's wheels churn To hell with the flora, I've macho to burn
    > >
    > > For nature is challenge, it ain't nothing more If he can't destroy it, life would be a bore
    > >
    > > So upward and downward the mountains begin To lose their appeal for those living within
    > >
    > > With speeding and grinding and squealing and braking The animals there are always awaking
    > >
    > > The tree called Madrone with handsome red bark Is bitten by chain rings by day and by dark
    > >
    > > The slope so majestic and full of wildflowers Has lost its season of blooming in hours
    > >
    > > The man and the woman whose hair has turned gray Afraid to be struck, have both gone away
    > >
    > > The dog and the horse in this are alike They run from a speeding and uncontrolled bike
    > >
    > > The creeks and the streams all seem to cry out Go away, leave alone, all my rare Steelhead trout
    > >
    > > by Terri Alvillar
    >
    > That touched me... in a very special place... *sniff* Why do I feel so dirty???
    >
    > Jimbo(san)

    LOL JIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
     
  13. Trekkie Dad

    Trekkie Dad Guest

    In article <[email protected]>, [email protected] (Terri
    Alvillar) wrote:

    > By Terri Alvillar
    >
    > Too far from the ranger, the rider denies The wet ground from rain having fallen from skies

    Oooo...oooo....oooo...poetry challenge! It's going to take some time finding words that rhyme with
    misanthrope, nutcase, and horse's ass!

    For mikey, I imitated the style of Dr. Seuss <http://trekkiedad.freeservers.com/ode.htm> but for
    Terri, I'm thinking either limerick or Lewis Carroll.

    TD

    --
    [email protected] World Without Cars Dictionary of Vandemisms (2001) is available at:
    http://trekkiedad.freeservers.com/wwc.html ICQ# available on request
     
  14. TD says:

    >but for Terri, I'm thinking either limerick or Lewis Carroll.

    Edward Lear would be more appropriate ;-)

    Steve
     
  15. Trekkie Dad wrote:
    > In article <[email protected]>, [email protected] (Terri
    > Alvillar) wrote:
    >
    >
    >>By Terri Alvillar
    >>
    >>Too far from the ranger, the rider denies The wet ground from rain having fallen from skies
    >
    >
    > Oooo...oooo....oooo...poetry challenge! It's going to take some time finding words that rhyme with
    > misanthrope, nutcase, and horse's ass!
    >
    > For mikey, I imitated the style of Dr. Seuss <http://trekkiedad.freeservers.com/ode.htm> but for
    > Terri, I'm thinking either limerick or Lewis Carroll.
    >
    > TD
    >

    There once was a woman named Terri, who's head was incredibly herri, the bikers would taunt her
    massive boufont, but, in truth, its really quite scarri.

    Jon Bond I'm a poet and I don't even know... er, knoet.
     
  16. Slacker

    Slacker Guest

    > There once was a woman named Terri, who's head was incredibly herri, the bikers would taunt her
    > massive boufont, but, in truth, its really quite scarri.
    >
    > Jon Bond I'm a poet and I don't even know... er, knoet.

    LOL
     
  17. Bb

    Bb Guest

    On Wed, 02 Apr 2003 03:56:33 GMT, Jonathan Bond wrote:

    > There once was a woman named Terri, who's head was incredibly herri, the bikers would taunt her
    > massive boufont, but, in truth, its really quite scarri.

    Funny stuff, truely LOL!

    --
    -BB- To reply to me, drop the attitude (from my e-mail address, at least)
     
  18. Trekkie Dad

    Trekkie Dad Guest

    In article <[email protected]>, [email protected] (Stephen
    Baker) wrote:

    > TD says:
    >
    > >but for Terri, I'm thinking either limerick or Lewis Carroll.
    >
    > Edward Lear would be more appropriate ;-)
    >
    > Steve

    Gotcha. I started working on Alvillarwhacky, but it's going to take a couple of days just to put
    together a first draft, if I don't lose interest in it altogether.

    TD

    --
    [email protected] World Without Cars Dictionary of Vandemisms (2001) is available at:
    http://trekkiedad.freeservers.com/wwc.html ICQ# available on request
     
  19. Trekkie Dad

    Trekkie Dad Guest

    In article <[email protected]>, Jonathan Bond
    <[email protected]> wrote:

    > There once was a woman named Terri, who's head was incredibly herri, the bikers would taunt her
    > massive boufont, but, in truth, its really quite scarri.
    >
    > Jon Bond I'm a poet and I don't even know... er, knoet.

    Applause, applause! I just knew someone would be up to the challenge!

    TD

    --
    [email protected] World Without Cars Dictionary of Vandemisms (2001) is available at:
    http://trekkiedad.freeservers.com/wwc.html ICQ# available on request
     
  20. Westie

    Westie Guest

    "Jonathan Bond" <[email protected]> wrote in message
    news:[email protected]...
    > Trekkie Dad wrote:
    > > In article <[email protected]>, [email protected] (Terri Alvillar)
    > > wrote:
    > >
    > >
    > >>By Terri Alvillar
    > >>
    > >>Too far from the ranger, the rider denies The wet ground from rain having fallen from skies
    > >
    > >
    > > Oooo...oooo....oooo...poetry challenge! It's going to take some time finding words that rhyme
    > > with misanthrope, nutcase, and horse's ass!
    > >
    > > For mikey, I imitated the style of Dr. Seuss
    <http://trekkiedad.freeservers.com/ode.htm>
    > > but for Terri, I'm thinking either limerick or Lewis Carroll.
    > >
    > > TD
    > >
    >
    > There once was a woman named Terri, who's head was incredibly herri, the bikers would taunt her
    > massive boufont, but, in truth, its really quite scarri.
    >
    > Jon Bond I'm a poet and I don't even know... er, knoet.
    >

    LOL! Nice one. I'll give her credit for the poetry. But not the subject matter. And anyway, what's
    this about prizes?

    >The trail built last year, it has doubled in size Not fun any more, better find a new prize

    I thought Terri was all for the environment, not finding new, virginal trails and using them for
    "fun". That'd be right, wouldn't it Terri? Carelessly cast your old, used trails aside and
    senselessly rape and plunder new virgin territory for the sake of being able to claim it as a new
    "prize"... Shame on you.
    --
    Westie
     
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